Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Been blocked (I think)- feel unreasonably sad!

59 replies

lotusx · 09/06/2023 14:28

I was dating a guy for a short while, around 10 weeks. We left things on good terms (or so I thought!). He was leaving the country to work away for an undetermined length of time. A bit gutting because he ticked all my boxes but life happens. We left the door open so if we were both single when he got back, we may date again but that was that for now. We last saw each other on Friday and he left the country on Saturday, on Monday I tested positive for Covid and thought I best give him the heads up since we’d been in close contact and he has some health conditions that make him eligible for antivirals. I went to message him on WhatsApp and he was online but I got sidetracked when I was typing my message as the phone rang. When I went back to finish messaging him I noticed I could no longer see his last online status so I presume I’ve been blocked.

To be honest I was already feeling a little bit down about things ending but now I feel hurt about suddenly being blocked. I only block people in extreme circumstances so I feel bad that I’ve done something that he warrants being block worthy! I’m a people pleaser and hate the thought of upsetting people so this is making me feel awful! 😓

OP posts:
DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 09/06/2023 14:33

I don't think not seeing someone's last online status necessarily means you're blocked. You can change it in settings if you don't want it visible.

On the other point, don't be a people pleaser. Work at pleasing yourself. That doesn't mean treating others like dirt, but be true to who you are.

Goatbilly · 09/06/2023 15:05

You shouldn't care whatsoever after only having been "dating" for 10 weeks. You seem to overinvest quickly. Maybe he already had someone else lined up?

Whenwillitallmakesense · 09/06/2023 15:12

So you're only assuming you're blocked? You've not actually sent a message to see if you see the two ticks or if they go blue? He might have his phone on flight more, turned it off, having trouble with connection wherever he is, changed his settings

I think you're overreacting. Just send the bloody message. If he doesn't get it or he ignores it, then you'll know for sure, won't you?

Nodinnernogift · 09/06/2023 15:14

Goatbilly · 09/06/2023 15:05

You shouldn't care whatsoever after only having been "dating" for 10 weeks. You seem to overinvest quickly. Maybe he already had someone else lined up?

Charming. She does care and that's not unreasonable after spending ten weeks with someone which likely equates to approximately twenty meetings - enough time to know if there is potential.

OP, sorry you're disappointed. I've been there, it's rubbish brushing off a disappointment and maintaining optimism about the right guy being on the way. He is though :)

Regarding whether you've been blocked or not; does it really matter? If he's blocked you, he has likely not been totally upfront with you and you're well rid. If he hasn't blocked you, the circumstances haven't changed and you're still not together.

I know both options sting a little but it will pass.

Valour · 09/06/2023 15:19

I've changed my Whatsapp settings so that last online isn't visible to anyone. I doubt you've been blocked.

Dotcheck · 09/06/2023 15:19

But you’ve not been blocked?
He may have switched his settings or turned his phone off/ disconnected from Wi-Fi / or is in a no signal area.

Seriously though, maybe you should change your settings so you can’t see when he was last active. It’s not healthy.

Merrz · 09/06/2023 15:22

That doesn't mean you're blocked OP, you can change settings so no one can see when you were last active, that's for all your messages not just one person. Send the message, it'll tell you then if you're blocked

MarshmallowsOnToast · 09/06/2023 15:23

Yeah a few of my contacts have changed their settings to show as "online" when they are actively using the app. But as soon as they close the app it shows as blank instead of "last seen"

If you can still see his profile picture, you're not blocked.

Original poster
lotusx · 09/06/2023 15:23

Sorry, I should have been clearer! I did send the message. It’s been on one tick since Monday evening so that coupled with not seeing the online status like usual I’m assuming I’ve been blocked. It could be signal related but he’s only in Europe so I can’t imagine he’s had no data/Wi-Fi for 4 days- I could be wrong though!

It’s not that I was over-invested (I mean I do think I was more into him than he was to me but that’s a different story!). More that I’d only block someone if they had done something awful. I do care, even if it’s only been a short amount a time and if I’d done something to upset someone I’d much rather be told so I can do something about it just as I would with friends and family. I’m a nice person and I just hate think I’ve upset someone to the point they have to block!

OP posts:
LoonyLois · 09/06/2023 15:25

Can you see his profile photo? If not then that’s a sure sign you’ve been blocked.

cuckyplunt · 09/06/2023 15:26

To be fair to the OP, I absolutely knew after about 6weeks that my DH was the one. I don’t think being invested after 10 weeks is unusual or unreasonable.

Merrz · 09/06/2023 15:26

I think that's more like he hasn't received it, maybe no wi-fi yet where he is? I might be wrong but I have a feeling it tells you when you message if you've been blocked.
Either way, please don't waste your time hanging on for him.

Goatbilly · 09/06/2023 15:29

cuckyplunt · 09/06/2023 15:26

To be fair to the OP, I absolutely knew after about 6weeks that my DH was the one. I don’t think being invested after 10 weeks is unusual or unreasonable.

Lol, just because YOU did, most people need a lot more time to see any potential. And because it worked out, it's easier to do confirmation -bias.

Whenwillitallmakesense · 09/06/2023 15:35

I went to message him on WhatsApp and he was online but I got sidetracked when I was typing my message as the phone rang. When I went back to finish messaging him I noticed I could no longer see his last online status so I presume I’ve been blocked.

This is what everyome is replying to. Your updated post says something completely different.

I'm sure you know how WhatsApp works by now, if you haven't heard from him in 5 days, then you can assume he's not interested in staying I'm touch but I thought you'd already agreed this and to wait until he returns home. If this is not what you wanted, you shouldn't have agreed to it or got involved with him, knowing he was going away.

You'll just have to chalk this one up to experience, as sad as it is. Don't mope about until his return, hoping he'll want to carry on where you left off. Get on with enjoying your life and what will be will be.

begaydocrime42 · 09/06/2023 15:36

Goatbilly · 09/06/2023 15:05

You shouldn't care whatsoever after only having been "dating" for 10 weeks. You seem to overinvest quickly. Maybe he already had someone else lined up?

Classic MN

Unicorn2023 · 09/06/2023 16:25

LoonyLois · 09/06/2023 15:25

Can you see his profile photo? If not then that’s a sure sign you’ve been blocked.

This! If you can’t see his picture anymore you have been blocked. Sorry 😢 ♥️

BonnieGlasses · 09/06/2023 16:28

"Leaving the country" is the one of the oldest lines in the book OP, just saying...

ItsBritneyBitchhhh · 09/06/2023 16:30

Can you see his profile pic and/or ‘About’ section? If so then you haven’t been blocked. If you can’t see both things then unfortunately you have been blocked

honeyandfizz · 09/06/2023 16:32

begaydocrime42 · 09/06/2023 15:36

Classic MN

Show quote history

Quite. Do you think there are bots on MN that spout the same standard lines all the time?

ejbaxa · 09/06/2023 16:34

Goatbilly · 09/06/2023 15:05

You shouldn't care whatsoever after only having been "dating" for 10 weeks. You seem to overinvest quickly. Maybe he already had someone else lined up?

The OP isn't a robot, it's pretty normal to feel the way she does.

Original poster
lotusx · 09/06/2023 16:37

I can see his profile photo but I thought you could see that even if you’ve been blocked, just no future changes to the photo?

is the about section just where you click on their name? (I’m terrible with anything like this 😅)

Goodness, I never thought about it just being a line- that seems like a really elaborate excuse to call things off?!

OP posts:
growgrowinggrown · 09/06/2023 16:37

I work away a lot and have an international sim I use when away for cheaper minutes/internet.

All my loved ones get a text when I arrive to pass on my new number for the duration. Maybe your just not on that list as you'd agreed to not get serious.

BethDuttonsTwin · 09/06/2023 16:43

Goatbilly · 09/06/2023 15:05

You shouldn't care whatsoever after only having been "dating" for 10 weeks. You seem to overinvest quickly. Maybe he already had someone else lined up?

What a load of crap. Why do people say things like this? It’s perfectly normal to feel hurt after even a short period of time if you’ve bonded with someone. Take no notice of this OP.

MorrisZapp · 09/06/2023 16:57

Goatbilly · 09/06/2023 15:05

You shouldn't care whatsoever after only having been "dating" for 10 weeks. You seem to overinvest quickly. Maybe he already had someone else lined up?

Ignore this utter crap

tommyshelbysbunnit · 09/06/2023 17:01

Are you sure he's left the country?