Does separation ALWAYS fuck up the kids?

[Tryingtobepositive123]

Hi,

My partner and I are separating after 10 years. He was very grumpy and cross and I got fed up of it. 2dds age 5 and 1. He wasn't keen on splitting at first but I think is accepting that he wasn't that happy either, and actually wanted to feel more loved than I made him feel.

We are currently living together until we work out next steps. It's very cordial and no arguments, we are very lucky to have separate rooms to sleep in. I'm sure there will be ups and downs but I'm hopeful we can maintain excellent relations and co-parent as we move to nesting (I hope).

However, from reading a few threads on here some people think separation/ divorce will always fuck the kids up. Is this a universal view? How can I minimise it?

Basically I was really happy in my decision to split but that has me thinking it's not bad enough to ruin the kids' lives.

No, I dont believe so at all.
I know in my case my only issue is that I believe my mum should have left my dad much sooner than she did to be honest.

Equally, my cousin's parents separated for a year when they were teens. They got back together. One of my cousins (there were 3 kids- she is the oldest) told me she will never forgive her parents for getting back together. That the happiest time for everyone was when they lived apart: not before or after.

As a result of my experiences, I would never stay with DH if I/ he or both of us were unhappy for the sake of the kids. I think many people do an excellent (better!) job at parenting when apart.

Best of luck to you OP, I hope everything works out for your family.