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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fair division of financial responsibility

78 replies

ShutUpMegx · 06/06/2023 21:38

So DP and I both work and I study.
I bring home £10000 SAAS nursing grant from my nursing degree which is full time, a year and around £2000 from nurse bankwork per year.
DP works 30 hours and brings home around £16000 a year.
we also get some UC between us.
our household bills come to approx £1300 per month, plus £1000 for food.
DP pays me £600 a month towards bills and will buy milk/ bread etc if we need it and fuels his own car.
I cover some of the weekly shop and fuel my own car.
the UC pays the rest of the food shopping and the nursery bills and I have around £200 a month left as a buffer which I save for my car insurance/ Christmas/ uniforms/ haircuts etc.
DH has around £500 a month spare which he pays £100 off debt. Leaving £300. But he never has money at the end of the month as he buys junk food, shit off Amazon, ‘treats’ that none of us need or want.
mom so annoyed as I account for every penny of what I spend. Should I be asking for an extra £100 from him for bills so we are at least closer to 50/50, especially as he earns more than me?

OP posts:
Blip · 10/06/2023 07:23

In fairness you already know where the land lies. He's nowhere near pulling his weight in the relationship as he doesn't really care about you but is happy that you make his life easier.

Guiltypleasures001 · 10/06/2023 11:07

Why wait a few months ?
Just bin him and look forward to a cheaper Xmas without him

Parkandpicnic · 10/06/2023 11:11

Assume you’ll be getting less UC because of his earnings, they are doing this on the basis that all household income is family income not giving the family money so he’s got loads to spend just on himself. You either need to have everything going into a joint account and work out an equal amount can allocate as your own personal spends or think about living apart

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