Never wants to do anything

CrispSandwichesLove · 2023-06-03T12:12:39+00:00

God its a lovely day and as usual he never wants to do anything, just watch TV or sleep. He slept all day yesterday because he was off work, he's not ill either or depressed. I've ended up coming out myself for a walk and meal and tonight seeing a friend. He has a car that he can't afford really and wants things doing on that hut there's plenty could do cheap/ free . I've started to get a bit resentful thinking is this it every weekend. Anyone been in a similar situation?

Original poster

CrispSandwichesLove · 03/06/2023 13:14

Meant wants to spend money on car but there's things we could do that cost little.

OP posts:

Successstory82 · 03/06/2023 13:17

How long have you been with him? Always been like this?

Successstory82 · 03/06/2023 13:18

We all have different ways we like to spend the weekend

i like to be out and about
other don’t

nothing right or wrong with either

Original poster

CrispSandwichesLove · 03/06/2023 13:46

3 years.
At the start every weekend he was in bed all weekend. Then he started doing a few bits, walk here n there , pub lunch , visit people but now he's just back to that. It's not even like we can watch something together because it's always what he wants to watch .

OP posts:

IHateFlies · 03/06/2023 13:51

Tell him you're finding life boring and would like to do something once a weekend.
You're right that there are things to do that are cheap or free. If he's not interested then maybe he isn't the right person for you.

MaudGonneOutForChips · 03/06/2023 13:52

Ditch him. Life’s too short for that level of boring.

SummerSimmer · 03/06/2023 13:57

Honestly split up now, I’m have friends who have been with their partners for 25 to 30 years and all the do is moan about them not doing anything.
Find yourself someone who wants to embrace life and make the most of the weekend and annual leave or do things you want to do on your own or with friends.
He won’t change.

Watchkeys · 03/06/2023 13:57

Find someone you're compatible with. He's entitled to stay in bed. It's not his job to make you happy; it's yours. Complaining on forums won't help: do something that makes you happy.

Chowtime · 03/06/2023 13:58

Go out with your girlfriends. We can't get all our needs met by the one man in our lives.

Original poster

CrispSandwichesLove · 03/06/2023 14:02

I am going out with a friend later. I would like us to do something every now then but he doesn't seem bothered.

OP posts:

TwilightSkies · 03/06/2023 14:03

Take it from me, LEAVE. My ex was like that. You need to find someone on the same wavelength as you, who actually wants to LIVE.

IWasFunBeforeMum · 03/06/2023 14:05

Get rid!

Mumofnarnia · 03/06/2023 14:38

CrispSandwichesLove · 03/06/2023 13:46

3 years.
At the start every weekend he was in bed all weekend. Then he started doing a few bits, walk here n there , pub lunch , visit people but now he's just back to that. It's not even like we can watch something together because it's always what he wants to watch .

Wow! I could not cope with someone like this. I’d be bored to tears!!! Especially if the only thing they did is watch telly and ONLY what they wanted to watch. Everything’s all on his terms isn’t it! He does not seem to give a thought about you or your feelings! I can’t even understand why he’s got himself into a relationship if this is all he can do when he’s in one! I’d be getting rid and finding someone who is happy to take me out and put a little more effort in.

keyboardkat · 03/06/2023 14:49

You are not compatible. He wants one thing, you want the other. He doesn't want to go anywhere, you do especially on a weekend.

The bottom line is you are bored and frustrated with him. You feel he doesn't care about your wants and needs much. If you feel that way, it's probably true for you, so time to reassess I think. We are only here for a very short time, make it work for you and be happy.

OhYeahDefinitely · 03/06/2023 14:51

After three years I’d just think ‘we are not well suited’ and end things.

If you were in a long marriage or had kids I’d give it much more work, but nah…this is a relationship on its uppers.

Successstory82 · 03/06/2023 14:55

CrispSandwichesLove · 03/06/2023 13:46

3 years.
At the start every weekend he was in bed all weekend. Then he started doing a few bits, walk here n there , pub lunch , visit people but now he's just back to that. It's not even like we can watch something together because it's always what he wants to watch .

So he changed during the honeymoon period because new relationship

and how settling back to what he truly enjoys

it’s simply a case of incompatibility

illiterato · 03/06/2023 15:16

Noooo. Honestly my life is not the most exciting but staying in the house all day to watch tv/ doom scroll ? I can do that when I’m 87 and housebound.

Kitkatfiend31 · 03/06/2023 15:56

So who cooks dinner, does the washing, hoovers etc on the weekend? Or does he opt out of all of that as well? I could not find someone who wanted to sleep away all their time off attractive. Ditch him now. You know this won't improve!

Original poster

CrispSandwichesLove · 03/06/2023 17:21

He will wash the pots but that's about it, won't cook or hoover etc.
I think I am struggling with intimacy and attraction because I feel so bored and frustrated.
I agree I don't think we are compatible, we want to do different things in our time. My ex wasn't great but we did go for walks, park, beach, try different restaurants, museums, cook together- just do stuff and I miss that.

OP posts:

CheeseDreamsTonight · 03/06/2023 17:23

Sounds like he has always been like this and you thought he would change. Sounds like it's just him. Annoying if you'd rather be doing things but not out of character by the sound of it.

Thepleasureofyourcompany · 03/06/2023 17:23

Omg that sounds so utterly boring and depressing. All the posters saying it's fine! What an absolute lump. I'd hate it.

Watchkeys · 03/06/2023 17:24

I think I am struggling with intimacy and attraction because I feel so bored and frustrated

You're not 'struggling with intimacy'; he's completely turned you off by being a person you don't find attractive, and by making no effort. Why do you think this is a struggle in any way? You just don't want him. You're not 'supposed' to want him.

Mumofnarnia · 03/06/2023 17:28

CrispSandwichesLove · 03/06/2023 17:21

He will wash the pots but that's about it, won't cook or hoover etc.
I think I am struggling with intimacy and attraction because I feel so bored and frustrated.
I agree I don't think we are compatible, we want to do different things in our time. My ex wasn't great but we did go for walks, park, beach, try different restaurants, museums, cook together- just do stuff and I miss that.

I agree with you. I also need someone who I can go out and enjoy doing things with and who like walks, beach, museums and restaurants etc. I cannnot imagine anyone who would actually be compatible with someone who just wants to spend all their free time in bed and watching TV while selfishly only watching what they want to watch! I honestly couldn’t be in a relationship with someone like that, I’d be bored silly.

Watchkeys · 03/06/2023 17:28

Why do you keep cooking for him?

keyboardkat · 03/06/2023 17:53

Apart from washing pots, can you hand on heart identify what pleasurable things he brings to you life. Great sex maybe, I can't see much else, but maybe there ARE things about him that are wonderful for you as a couple. Is his contribution to the household i.e. mortgage/rent something that keeps you together as you each could not afford separate spaces?

I'm trying, but not getting anything that shouts "he's a diamond" back at me yet.