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Original poster

Never wants to do anything

68 replies

CrispSandwichesLove · 03/06/2023 13:12

God its a lovely day and as usual he never wants to do anything, just watch TV or sleep.
He slept all day yesterday because he was off work, he's not ill either or depressed.
I've ended up coming out myself for a walk and meal and tonight seeing a friend.
He has a car that he can't afford really and wants things doing on that hut there's plenty could do cheap/ free . I've started to get a bit resentful thinking is this it every weekend. Anyone been in a similar situation?

OP posts:
Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 10:41

CrispSandwichesLove · 04/06/2023 10:29

Well I've got up today , he's got same clothes had on since Friday. He's barely said two words to me since I came back from my friends and what he did say was to have a dig that he was alone yesterday.
I don't think this is enough for me long term.

Ok so he was like this when you first met
briefly he changed
and now he’s reverted

his way of life is dull for you and I

but there will be a woman out there who likes her weekends to be pure slobbery.

and there will be a man out there for you who enjoys doing things over the weekend.

you don’t change. He won’t change. No one is right. No one iswrong

wwyd2021medicine · 04/06/2023 10:47

DH and I have been married 32 years and plan stuff to do after work each night, let alone weekends. Nothing earth shattering - a 5k round walk to a pub, a trip to different shopping centres if we need anything, cinema, gig, pub quiz, a different meal we will do together, batch cooking, a tv programme, house sorting, garden maintenance etc.
He would drive me up the wall

FrenchandSaunders · 04/06/2023 10:54

DH went through a phase of this, getting up late morning and sitting in front of the tv … always tired.

Turns out he had an under active thyroid. Started taking tablets …. we had booked a holiday and I packed loads of books, fully expecting to be spending the mornings alone on a sunbed …. he was awake before me! Up and out, planning trips.

Original poster
CrispSandwichesLove · 04/06/2023 12:33

He has got an under active thyroid and has been on medication for years. Finally got dressed. I've left the house and come to see friends.

OP posts:
Mari9999 · 04/06/2023 13:06

OP, this all begs the question of "why are you still with him?" By your description, it seems that you are getting nothing from this relationship, and tbh the 2 of you are so different, it is hard to see what he is getting from this relationship as well. You may cook and clean etc, but somehow he was managing to get all of those needs met prior to your arrival on the scene. So he can probably manage those tasks in your absence.

In any case, why are you tormenting yourself by remaining in this situation?

Original poster
CrispSandwichesLove · 04/06/2023 13:13

He was living with his ex, moved in with his child for bit and went from there to here so had someone doing all those things for him.
This is my first relationship after an abusive one, I guess I wanted it to work, felt like I've tried really hard and my confidence was low when we met.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrispSandwichesLove · 04/06/2023 13:14

We both have different needs and wants. It's definitely time for a talk about going our separate ways.

OP posts:
Mari9999 · 04/06/2023 13:24

@CrispSandwichesLove
It definitely sounds as though it is time for you to make him available for the next unsuspecting woman.

Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 13:29

CrispSandwichesLove · 04/06/2023 13:13

He was living with his ex, moved in with his child for bit and went from there to here so had someone doing all those things for him.
This is my first relationship after an abusive one, I guess I wanted it to work, felt like I've tried really hard and my confidence was low when we met.

How old is he?

Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 13:30

Mari9999 · 04/06/2023 13:24

@CrispSandwichesLove
It definitely sounds as though it is time for you to make him available for the next unsuspecting woman.

He was like this when the op met him

didn’t mislead her

Mari9999 · 04/06/2023 14:50

@Successstory82 ,
Well, many women labor under the impression that they are "the one" that can change the man or that they are so eager to have a man that they can tolerate his bits of " difference. "

Many just fail to accept the fact that what you see and experience is what you are getting.

Gettingbysomehow · 04/06/2023 14:59

Tell him he's the most boring person you've ever met and you want to leave.

Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 15:04

Mari9999 · 04/06/2023 14:50

@Successstory82 ,
Well, many women labor under the impression that they are "the one" that can change the man or that they are so eager to have a man that they can tolerate his bits of " difference. "

Many just fail to accept the fact that what you see and experience is what you are getting.

Well exactly but hardly the fault of the person who never hid their approach to life from the very outset

Mari9999 · 04/06/2023 15:10

@Successstory82
In any case, it seems a simple enough process for these 2 people to go their separate ways. They do not appear to be tied to each other through marriage or a mutual child. This can just be a temporary interlude in both of their lives. As he moved in with the OP, she won't even have to experience the inconvenience of moving.

Mariposista · 04/06/2023 15:33

This would be a deal breaker for me.

Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 15:58

Mari9999 · 04/06/2023 15:10

@Successstory82
In any case, it seems a simple enough process for these 2 people to go their separate ways. They do not appear to be tied to each other through marriage or a mutual child. This can just be a temporary interlude in both of their lives. As he moved in with the OP, she won't even have to experience the inconvenience of moving.

Exactly.

it is simply a case of incompatibility

there are women out there who want to slob all weekend

and there are men out there who want to be out and about

Goatbilly · 04/06/2023 23:23

Successstory82 · 04/06/2023 15:58

Exactly.

it is simply a case of incompatibility

there are women out there who want to slob all weekend

and there are men out there who want to be out and about

Show quote history

Sure, there might be more people that Op would be aligned to out there.... but i suspect part of this behaviour that women do of "wanting a really terrible relationship to work" is the utter dread of having to go back on OLD and wading through the debris, in a very slight hope of finding someone better? It's extremely time consuming and draining....and scary that you might end up...with nobody? Is that possibly the case op @CrispSandwichesLove ?

Watchkeys · 05/06/2023 10:52

this behaviour that women do

Nice. Very nice.

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