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Original poster

Never wants to do anything

68 replies

CrispSandwichesLove · 03/06/2023 13:12

God its a lovely day and as usual he never wants to do anything, just watch TV or sleep.
He slept all day yesterday because he was off work, he's not ill either or depressed.
I've ended up coming out myself for a walk and meal and tonight seeing a friend.
He has a car that he can't afford really and wants things doing on that hut there's plenty could do cheap/ free . I've started to get a bit resentful thinking is this it every weekend. Anyone been in a similar situation?

OP posts:
HerMammy · 03/06/2023 20:50

If he stayed in bed all weekend at the start then why did you STAY and endure him for 3 years?

Mari9999 · 03/06/2023 21:42

Why exactly are you with this man? Evidently, none of your needs are being met, and it does not sound as though you have the usual ties ( marriage or children) that might bind you.

He sounds pretty sedentary and lethargic, and it seems as though he has been pretty much the same way throughout your relationship.

What keeps you with this man?

uncomfortablydumb53 · 03/06/2023 23:18

Why stay with someone who doesn't care about you or your life together?
He's set in his ways and doesn't actually want more from your relationship so I'd say leave and find the life you deserve

TheStrangestTimes · 04/06/2023 00:40

Oh OP you've just described the last bloke i dated. I'd end up feeling really quite down by the time Monday came around if I'd spent the weekend with my ex bf... All it would be was the bed and tv... I'd end up just sleeping in until and really late and not even wanting to look out the window if it was a beautiful sunny day because i know i wouldn't get to experience it, unless i buggered off and left him in my bed, with his eyeballs glued to programme.

Ugh. Got the ick, couldn't stand the thought of having sex with someone so lazy and boring, so because of that and a few other reasons, it drew the relationship to a close.

Today i went out around lunchtime, enjoyed the jolly sunshine, beautiful blue skies, a fabulous walk, picnic... And found myself thinking how wonderful it was to have my weekends back. So nice to actually "live" again.

If these types of folk wanted to have enthusiasm for actually living rather than being a bed zombie then they would. I wasted far too long on my bed zombie OP! Can't say i miss him...

ReadyForPeace · 04/06/2023 07:10

Interesting there's someone for everyone. Please pass him along, he's exactly the kind of person I need. This is my life too and I'm more than happy with it. Just looking for someone to do it with. Cba to be hobnobbing all over the place, it's why I've made my home into somewhere I love to be.

We'd suit each other.

Thepleasureofyourcompany · 04/06/2023 08:11

ReadyForPeace · 04/06/2023 07:10

Interesting there's someone for everyone. Please pass him along, he's exactly the kind of person I need. This is my life too and I'm more than happy with it. Just looking for someone to do it with. Cba to be hobnobbing all over the place, it's why I've made my home into somewhere I love to be.

We'd suit each other.

What, staying in bed all day?? Grim.

Teabab · 04/06/2023 08:14

My ex was like this, I wasted 8 years in misery before just accepting we weren't compatible on this very fundamental thing. There's nothing wrong with wanting to stay home and not having an interest in going out, but similarly its also not wild to want to go out and do stuff, neither of you are wrong as such but it sounds like there's zero compromise his end whilst you inadvertently have to compromise on what you want to do because he won't go out.

My now DH and I do plenty together now, it's so refreshing to actually all enjoy going out as a family. We do duvet days with a film on, or stay in sometimes and chill around the house of course, but the balance of both is so much better than what I used to endure. Sad thing is when ex has DS he doesn't take him out either which is sad :(

tiggergoesbounce · 04/06/2023 08:22

Everyone is different and entitled to spend their time exactly how they like. Me and my DH used to love a duvet day on a Sunday before we had DS and there is nothing wrong with that, its just not for you.

Find yourself someone who is compatible for you, then he can do the same.

tiggergoesbounce · 04/06/2023 08:24

What, staying in bed all day?? Grim

To you maybe, but surely you appreciate everyone is different?

Thepleasureofyourcompany · 04/06/2023 08:35

tiggergoesbounce · 04/06/2023 08:24

What, staying in bed all day?? Grim

To you maybe, but surely you appreciate everyone is different?

I don't think I know a single person who doesn't have severe depression or drug problems that spends their weekend in bed all day every single weekend and I'm glad of it!

muchalover · 04/06/2023 08:38

What would you tell yourself in a years time? Another whole year of this.

It doesn't just rob you of great weekends it robs you of the excitement of thinking of plans for those weekends. I love my job but it's still all about the time off from it.

We don't live forever. Act accordingly.

LolaMoon · 04/06/2023 08:40

Good grief this would drive me mad. I get having a lie is nice and I enjoy lazing around as much as the next person but an entire weekend in bed would make me feel gross. It’s not good for your body either. I couldn’t stand this- life is too precious to waste it doing nothing.

Id leave. Sorry OP

swayingpalmtree · 04/06/2023 08:42

Thepleasureofyourcompany · 04/06/2023 08:35

I don't think I know a single person who doesn't have severe depression or drug problems that spends their weekend in bed all day every single weekend and I'm glad of it!

Show quote history

I agree. This isn’t “normal” and I hate that word but staying in bed all day every weekend is indicative of a problem.

morbidd · 04/06/2023 08:53

Bloody hell, life is too short so get rid.

Mark my words you will find someone who suits you and you'll wish you'd had chucked him sooner.

piedbeauty · 04/06/2023 08:54

He won't cook or hoover, won't let you watch what you want to on TV, and sleeps all weekend.

Why are you still with him?!

You deserve more.

Derrymum123 · 04/06/2023 09:01

Life is too short for that level of boring. Don't leave it too late then look back and wonder where the years went. Put your cards on the table and give him an ultimatum.
Yes, relaxing is good, but so is getting out and living life as fully as you can.
If you feel like this now multiply by 10 and think what life would be like further down the road.

ReadyForPeace · 04/06/2023 10:01

swayingpalmtree · 04/06/2023 08:42

I agree. This isn’t “normal” and I hate that word but staying in bed all day every weekend is indicative of a problem.

Show quote history

I dont know about staying in bed all day but for me,

Staying home all day: pottering about, watching anything (comedy, drama, fantasy, sci fi, commentaries, etc), eating what you want, doing a bit of exercise/stretch/yoga/dance, chatting online, playing games, knitting/sewing/reading/playing the piano/guitar, baking, sleeping, hanging out on the balcony enjoying the view, decorating, DIY, research and casual studying...the list goes on. So much to do from the comfort of home.

Paradise!

ChrisTrepidation · 04/06/2023 10:03

Just ditch him ffs. Life is too short to spend it with a boring twat.

Original poster
CrispSandwichesLove · 04/06/2023 10:29

Well I've got up today , he's got same clothes had on since Friday. He's barely said two words to me since I came back from my friends and what he did say was to have a dig that he was alone yesterday.
I don't think this is enough for me long term.

OP posts:
swayingpalmtree · 04/06/2023 10:29

ReadyForPeace · 04/06/2023 10:01

I dont know about staying in bed all day but for me,

Staying home all day: pottering about, watching anything (comedy, drama, fantasy, sci fi, commentaries, etc), eating what you want, doing a bit of exercise/stretch/yoga/dance, chatting online, playing games, knitting/sewing/reading/playing the piano/guitar, baking, sleeping, hanging out on the balcony enjoying the view, decorating, DIY, research and casual studying...the list goes on. So much to do from the comfort of home.

Paradise!

Show quote history

I agree- love to potter but laying in bed all day is really unhealthy https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4217706/

Negative Effects of Time in Bed Extension: A Pilot Study

Epidemiologic studies have consistently shown an association of long sleep (≥8 hr) with mortality and multiple morbidities. However, there has been little experimental investigation of the effects of sleep extension. The aim of this study was ...

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4217706/

LolaMoon · 04/06/2023 10:32

It’s about balance isn’t it? Being busy and stressed all day isn’t good but neither is sleeping all day. Nothing wrong with relaxing when you need it but laying in bed every weekend is wasting your life away.

Get rid.

Thepleasureofyourcompany · 04/06/2023 10:35

CrispSandwichesLove · 04/06/2023 10:29

Well I've got up today , he's got same clothes had on since Friday. He's barely said two words to me since I came back from my friends and what he did say was to have a dig that he was alone yesterday.
I don't think this is enough for me long term.

Ouch.

Omg OP he sounds like the biggest fun sponge going. Do you have sex?

FedUpWithEverything123 · 04/06/2023 10:39

I was with someone similar. Eventually I got the courage to end it - and I wish I'd done it much sooner and not wasted years of my life in a relationship like that

Mumofnarnia · 04/06/2023 10:39

CrispSandwichesLove · 04/06/2023 10:29

Well I've got up today , he's got same clothes had on since Friday. He's barely said two words to me since I came back from my friends and what he did say was to have a dig that he was alone yesterday.
I don't think this is enough for me long term.

Yuk! So he’s still got the same clothes on that he’s had on since Friday… and slept in? Suppose he hasn’t changed his underwear too! He sounds gross tbh. Maybe if he got up off his backside and went out and actually socialised he wouldn’t have been on his own. Not sure why he’s having a dog at you about it. What on earth do you see in him?

muffinmclay22 · 04/06/2023 10:41

I feel for you. I have a dh who needs a lot of encouragement to do anything. Oldest dc is the same. It's draining really.