Talk to me about Bumble

[Bumbletecsupportneeded]

I have set up a profile with some pictures and details, and started to swipe.
I have to stay local because I've got primary aged kids and they are with me most of the time.
I'm looking for someone who doesn't smoke and my age settings are 43-55 (I am 47)
Once you swipe left, is that it? Will I not be shown those ones again?
I keep getting likes from guys who are either miles away or smokers. I've discovered you can see the 'hidden likes' if you temporarily relax the filters.
Does bumble give you the chance to see potential local matches again, or have I screwed it up already?

Bump-anyone?

I used bumble years ago! As far as I can remember, you have to initiate the conversation with the man. I don't think they can message you unless you start the conversation. Have fun x

Yeah we all get recycled 😅

They’ll come back around, but why would you want them to?
If they’re not what you’re looking for then don’t change your mind and swipe right out of desperation.

Swipe left in people who don’t fit what you want. Swipe right on the ones who do.

The men are also swiping.

If you both swipe right on each other, then you get a match. You need to send them a message within 24 hours as they cannot message you first.

if you match then this is your chance to come up with something witty as a conversation starter. And take it from there.

The left swiped ones will come round again after a while if I remember right

I've been on it a couple of months, and have definitely seen people I've swiped left on come round again! Apparently it believes in "second chances". Though some of these people, I'm pretty sure, are coming up again and again because they keep deleting their profiles and then starting again from scratch, which is another way to refresh everything and see people you might have mistakenly swiped left on first time round if you want to do that.

Ok. This is reassuring. I know my dating pool is small due to my age filters and the smoking/distance thing. However I live in a sizeable city so it should be doable.
I'll sit tight in the hope that the ones I left-swiped too hastily come round again.
I'm not getting many likes though so that's a worry. Not sure if it's being in my late 40s and all the guys my age wanting younger women! I've tried relaxing my filters so I see men aged upto early 60s but I just can't do it. They look too old and I'm only 47 -argh.
I think my photos are good and I'm not too ugly I hope!

Once you like them, they have to like you and you get a notification to chat

If you said no first time round stick to your guns if they come round again 🤪

I've just seen my ex on Bumble lying about his height 😂 and not declaring his unacknowledged ED issues. The dating pool is full of 10 day old piss with chunks of shit floating around in it. Best avoided.

I know but it's probably my only option. Still not getting any luck. It's very different to when I was in my late 20s/early 30s☹️

It’s important to remember that if you match (ie you both right swipe) then you have 24 hours to message. Then he has 24 hours to message back. So if you can’t look at it at least every 23 hours, just temporarily pause if you can. Otherwise you might have matches that you run out of time to message and you’ll not realise.

I didn't enjoy it. All this presssure to message or he evaporates, kind of a buzz kill

Nobody I swipe right on likes me so we don't match
My only 'likes' are miles away or give me the ick

Have you thought about other apps? I know with Plenty of Fish you can message people without matching, there might be others like that too.

I do think there can be an issue with ages. I’m 33. I don’t date guys my age. My minimum is 36.
Right now, I’m dating a 38 year old and he has said that there are a lot of women 45 plus who swipe right on him but he just isn’t interested in anyone over 40. His filters were actually set 34 to 40, but if you run out of people within your range then they’ll show you people 2 years either side so that’s how he saw my profile. But his range shows that he was happy with people 4 years younger but only 2 years older, so they do want younger women.

Stick in there though and you’ll see more people. You can try tinder too; men can message first and there isn’t a time limit. And there are more people on there.

Sorry to hijack your thread OP but just wanted to mention Bumble have a BFF, ie find friends function, which is great! I've met some nice friends on this bit of the site whilst having the dating side of the app off. Just in case anyone was interested in this

Consider having a professional photographer take some pictures for you. They all do this for personal ad or social media profiles. They will be much more flattering than anything taken by a friend with a mobile phone.

And include a full length picture.

And no men, even if it is your brother!

I think you're right. I'm not really after a younger guy because they often want kids or short term things. At 47 I'd really like 47-55 but they aren't matching. I just can't find the guys older than late 50s attractive