How to not feel awful after being dumped!

[emerald20482]

To try and condense a long story- I’d been single for a while and decided to dip my toe back in the dating scene fairly recently. I met a guy online who, until today, I had been dating for a few months and all seemed to be going well. We’d spoke about not dating other people, deleted profiles off the apps etc…

For the last 2 weeks he kept dropping things into conversations that he had a lot on his plate so we had a chat and I said maybe we should put a pin in things so he could focus on himself/ until he was in a better headspace but he said all the right things about how he really liked me and wanted to continue dating etc… so things just carried on. He ended up coming over last night and was lovely, brought flowers, said how happy he was and how much he looked forward to our dates and I ended up sleeping with him for the first time (I had previously been keen to take things slowly but it had been a few months and he seemed lovely so I thought why not). He suggested meeting up on Friday night before he left and said we could go to a nice restaurant next to his and I could stay over.

I’ve then woke up to a Facebook message this morning saying he’s going to have to take some time to himself to “get into a better headspace” but he would be happy to continuing dating at some point in the future “depending on how things go in his life” as “he could meet someone he really likes while he finds himself” but depending on his “life” he might want to “see where things go further down the line” but “can’t give a time frame as who knows what will happen”

I feel a) humiliated b) like a total idiot for thinking he liked me and c) like I’ve been a strung along just so he could get his leg over.

We haven’t been dating long so I don’t know why I’m so upset/hurt about the whole thing but I have to say, this one stung!

Not sure why I’m posting this to be honest, I don’t have anyone to talk to in real life so I guess I’m just airing my sadness whilst I try and formulate a reply to his message. Any advice for getting over the sadness/embarrassment? I’d been out the dating scene for a while and forgot how much it could sting!

He was one of those ones playing the fishing game. They hook a woman on, play her and play her until she sleeps with him, then he's "won" and dumps her for the next exciting fishing game. Sorry op. He's a dickhead, and a waste of air.

He got what he wanted then he's off. Waste of oxygen.

Remember. No response is a response, and a powerful one.
I'd not even reply. Just block.

Don't feel bad. You've been taken in by a persuasive player.
Personally I would reply and say thanks but no thanks. It's been nice but you're not interested in waiting for him to decide he's ready. You're going to put a pin in it. Block and delete.
Otherwise he'll be back in touch in a few months, breadcrumb you a bit more and then need 'space'. You do deserve better.

So many arseholes out there. It’s NOT you though and please remember that, he’s a c@*%!
It will be hard not to reply a lengthy message but believe me in time you will happy you didn’t .
you could say ‘no thanks you were crap in bed’ 😂 I’m only joking - don’t send that, block him right now because he will be back in a few weeks/months and it will be a total headfuck. As for dealing with your emotions? Go with whatever you feel, if you want to cry, cry, if you want to smash a few things, do it. Be kind to yourself.

Don’t reply, remember silence is your gangster move and you’ll gain absolutely nothing from replying other than feeding his ego.

Hold your head high and continue your life without him without a backwards glance. There will be someone much better for you out there.

Yep this one is beneath a response. Nothing you did, you were sensitive, mature and considerate throughout.

Unfortunately some adult men still have a 13 year old boy's prurient and overbearing fascination with sex as something to 'achieve'.

Something seriously tapped with him, trying to belittle you by reminding you he may meet someone he likes more. Get him blocked. Not worth a second more of your time.

I wouldn’t even bother blocking him, it will just affirm that he’s got to you, simply ignoring him will likely make him feel as insignificant as he is!

Thanks everyone. I’m sure it’ll get better in time but it doesn’t half hurt now. I keep over analysing it in my head and thinking was it something I said/did/the way I look that put him off and made him cool off so quickly. It’s awful and my self esteem/confidence has taken a right battering with this one!

I’d got sidetracked at work and hadn’t had a chance to block or anything and he’s since sent another message saying he hopes he hasn’t upset me 🙄

I’ve just deleted his number and removed him from social media. I’m going to head home and drown my sorrows with some wine and Ben and Jerrys ice cream now!

Say you agree and after last night it's obvious you aren't sexually compatible anyway.

I'd often agree with this but I think this one will continue to pester OP- it seems he is looking for a reaction or argument by saying something so insensitive.

He’s trying to get a reaction, make you beg.

Silence is your power here. Leave him scratching his head, don’t block him but don’t ever reply to him again. You’re well rid and there’s better out there for you x

Please don't respond or block its exactly what he wants - a reaction. Just nothing him.

"Not upset, tbh a bit relieved you said it first, last night was a bit of a disappointment wasn't it lol? Hopefully you'll find someone who's into that funny clacking noise your teeth make. Good luck!"

"please don't feel bad about last night, I was just a bit surprised that it seemed to be your first time. Honestly, I'm sure you'll be great lover when you've had a bit of practice. Good luck out there!"

"Sorry I've not replied, been super busy today. That's fine, I think it's obvious to both of us now we aren't sexually compatible and to me it's either there or it isn't, good luck".

Don’t reply!

He's gross.
Definitely agree with a little dig about the sex, take that smug look off his face!

Don't reply at all, just forget him and think yourself lucky you didn't get into any sort of actual relationship with this guy, he has no respect for you. The finding himself stuff is bullshit.

Allow yourself to cry, feel hurt and angry whatever you feel right now and don't think it's wrong or odd to feel that way.
I hope you enjoy your Ben and Jerry's and wine; honestly do what makes you feel better

OP your point b) isn't valid - you are not a "total idiot", he is!! Many women, including myself, would believe him and take him seriously. I had this exact scenario in my life many years ago. I was so unprepared for it and it hurt me so that I was struggling to get over it for a very long time. Really hope your recovery will be quicker.

No reply
hes hurt you and ‘no reply’ both accepts his decision and won’t prolong a painful conversation

trust me you will feel so much better for saying nothing

then delete and heal

“Ah, don’t worry yourself. We’re clearly not compatible in the bedroom department and it’s as well we found out early on. All the best to you 👍”

"Honestly don't worry about it, it was pretty obvious last night that we're not right for each other in bed! But size really isn't everything so please don't let it worry you, I'm sure you'll find someone who likes you for your personality. Good luck hun!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣