How to not feel awful after being dumped!

[emerald20482]

To try and condense a long story- I’d been single for a while and decided to dip my toe back in the dating scene fairly recently. I met a guy online who, until today, I had been dating for a few months and all seemed to be going well. We’d spoke about not dating other people, deleted profiles off the apps etc…

For the last 2 weeks he kept dropping things into conversations that he had a lot on his plate so we had a chat and I said maybe we should put a pin in things so he could focus on himself/ until he was in a better headspace but he said all the right things about how he really liked me and wanted to continue dating etc… so things just carried on. He ended up coming over last night and was lovely, brought flowers, said how happy he was and how much he looked forward to our dates and I ended up sleeping with him for the first time (I had previously been keen to take things slowly but it had been a few months and he seemed lovely so I thought why not). He suggested meeting up on Friday night before he left and said we could go to a nice restaurant next to his and I could stay over.

I’ve then woke up to a Facebook message this morning saying he’s going to have to take some time to himself to “get into a better headspace” but he would be happy to continuing dating at some point in the future “depending on how things go in his life” as “he could meet someone he really likes while he finds himself” but depending on his “life” he might want to “see where things go further down the line” but “can’t give a time frame as who knows what will happen”

I feel a) humiliated b) like a total idiot for thinking he liked me and c) like I’ve been a strung along just so he could get his leg over.

We haven’t been dating long so I don’t know why I’m so upset/hurt about the whole thing but I have to say, this one stung!

Not sure why I’m posting this to be honest, I don’t have anyone to talk to in real life so I guess I’m just airing my sadness whilst I try and formulate a reply to his message. Any advice for getting over the sadness/embarrassment? I’d been out the dating scene for a while and forgot how much it could sting!

This! DO NOT respond to him.

We can say more with silence than we ever do with a response.
Big girl pants time.
Lesson learned.
Put it down to a crap experience.
Get yourself out there this wkend.

He's no loss, OP.

At least you've found out now.

Have you replied? I'd be tempted not to reply. Don't give him the satisfaction of blocking or anything, just don't respond.

Xx

Either don’t reply or just reply to say ‘I’m not interested in continuing anything with you either now or in the future so I’m not interested to hear from you again, good luck with everything’.

He’ll no doubt be back to mess with you again at some point.

@Mirrormythinking

Remember. No response is a response, and a powerful one.
I'd not even reply. Just block.
^^^
THIS
I Hope you took this advice.
I think he did like you but met someone else, wasn't sure if that would work so wanted / wants , to keep you in reserve.
You don't need second best.

It hurts being dumped but I'm familiar with this type of behaviour and it's not personal to you. It's flaky because he's trying to keeps you there as an option by giving you false hope of a relationship in the future, when he's ready. This is just what some people do. There's no point wrecking your head trying to figure out what you did wrong, because there won't be anything. I doubt he's such a catch that he's worth waiting for.
One guy I dated told me I was the funniest, sexiest, most attractive, caring, kindest, easiest to talk to woman he'd ever been with but it wasn't enough for him. His longest relationship was 3 months at age 42. A few years later I'm married, he's still doing the rounds on the dating sites.

"he could meet someone he really likes while he finds himself”

That is a seriously dickish thing to say.

I know that feeling of sorrow and humiliation. Cry it out as much as it takes. Journalling helps me a lot to make sense of disappointments in relationships. Putting your feelings down on paper enables me to draw a line under the whole experience, put it behind me and be stronger and wiser for the next one. Ignore his DM's which will come when he senses your stronger and have moved on from him. Take care of you and your health.