Did it work out for you as a stay at home mum - do you regret leaving work? OR Are you a career woman & happy?

[Uktousa2022]

With a culture of woman need to be dominant and have there own career, but on the flip side I have seen videos on feminine/masculine energy (the man is the leader who goes out to work and provide) - I am curious what path did you take? and your experience of being stay at home mums - and on the flip side mums that still work and have there own independence money - are you happy? Do you wish you done things differently?

I think woman have been told to get a career and be financial independent, but I see a lot of these woman having to freeze eggs, and I question whether they are fundamentally happy - but I also see women that have had kids with there husband in there early 20s, never worked, man earns it all, and I genuinely wonder if these women are happy too! Albeit life may be easier! (once the kids are a tad older)

He says men think with 'facts' and women think with 'feelings' which therefore he believes he should be making the decisions on things that matter - his words

He also said that he wouldn't be worried about his dog (who has previously killed another dog) being around a future baby of yours because the dog would 'just know' that the baby was 'part of him'.

The man's a fucking idiot, mate.

And a misogynist, sexist, weed smoking, controlling, cruel to animals (his dog is in a crate all day while he's at work), boring idiot at that.

You're young, you have a good job, you surely want more from your life than continuing to ruminate over the mess that is this relationship dynamic?!

It's not meant to be this hard. Not by a long shot.

It's terrifying you're still contemplating staying with this guy.

I work 4 days a week and really enjoy my working life - way more interesting conversation with colleagues than with my kids :)

Also, I feel navigating personalities in the business world and diverse customers and counterparts/colleagues will put me in a better position to advise my kids if and when the time comes, in terms of standing your ground, sticking up for yourself, saying no, etc

I’m a SAHM because I don’t have any other choice. I felt a bit trapped at first but after multiple failed attempts at working I’ve come to accept being a SAHM and now I love it.

I have autism and other issues and now I see that being A SAHM is good for me and good for my dc, I have a big family and I need to be in the best place mentally and physically to meet their needs and I can’t if I’m stressed so this works out for us and I kwon feel happy, it’s been difficult at points but I feel ok about it now as know I really tried my best to work but just couldn’t

Men think with facts, women with feelings?

He probably thinks women are ruled by their hormones, too?

Most wars have been started by men who have waaaay too much testosterone and haven't really thought about the consequences. Financial crashes have been caused by the behaviour of men, with multiple studies showing that females control for risk more effectively and therefore make more stable financial decisions. Again, lots of studies showing women tend to factor the impact of their decisions on others more than men do. All to do with socialisation rather than genetics, but see the trend?

Saying women think with more emotion is a misogynist's way of saying "I disagree with you but can't come up with a credible argument -because there isn't one - so I'm going to rely on male privilege."

So he doesn’t trust us to make “important decisions” or with money but he trusts women enough to raise the next generation?

He needs to educate himself, google which societies are happiest, most economically successful and socially cohesive (hint: it’s the ones with greatest equality between the sexes). Men commit over 80% of violent crimes and study after study has shown they are worse at assessing risk than women. Men are emotional creatures.

As for infrastructure not being invented by women he might like to google who invented wifi…

Ultimately none of that matters though. A successful relationship is about teamwork, having each others back and trusting each other to always put the interests of the family first. Someone said earlier women need to pick better men they were spot on. OP, this man is a very very poor pick.

@Uktousa2022

As DP earns the most out of the two of us, my career was the one that got sacrificed when we had children. However I do think that the ‘raising our children’ job shouldn’t be seen as insignificant or somehow not a worthwhile career in itself - or somehow unimportant compared to DP’s career/my former career.

We don’t own a huge amount. I’ve now gone back to work part time, and I’m working to fit my hours around the children. I try to save money where I can, spend really carefully, eBay, no meals out, house is quite tatty/old furnishings, I do surveys/deliver leaflets/do various bitty things that I can fit around the children and earn a bit more. We have the basics and I am a believer that so long as we can eat healthily/keep warm/have a roof/are safe - we can be happy and manage with less money but more time for supporting our children.