What would you make of this?

[SaturdayNightInMyLivingRoom]

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I went out and bumped into an old friend of his.

We all chatted for a whle and then this guy said he had a big birthday coming up and was planning a night out. Not a restricted numbers thing. He invited my boyfriend and the invitation was extended to me. I know that. I was standing right there.

Anyway, it's been mentioned a few times in the intervening weeks. Each time my boyfriend has asked if I'm going, said he'd love me to be there, but has followed it up with reasons why I probably wouldn't enjoy it.

He's clearly been putting me off.

It's happening tomorrow. He mentioned earlier this evening that a friend of his has offered him tickets to a gig elsewhere but he can't go because he's going out for this birthday and asked if I wanted them. So clearly doesn't want me there.

Now, there will be loads of people there and I know none of them. He'll know most of them. He hasn't seem some of them for years. Certainly since before lockdown.

If he'd said to me that he'd just really like ro spend a night out catching up with old friends etc, I'd have been fine with that and he knows me well enough to know that. But I don't understand why he's repeatedly told me he'd love me to go and then immediately followed it up with reasons why I wouldn't like it.

They won't be sitting and discussing anything. It's a venue with a band. Like a gig. They'll be having a laugh and getting pissed. Why not just be honest?

I asked him directly if he wanted me to go. He said he did but then came out with the other stuff again as though he were doing me a favour.

Ok. You are suspicious that there will be an old flame there. Is there someone particular you are afraid of? Or just a vague feeling? He’s made it clear albeit gently that he doesn’t want you there. If you force yourself onto the gathering, you will look desperate and jealous.

Now. You don’t want to do that, right? If you are so curious that you have to know, simply go with a friend somewhere near and discreetly spy on him. Yes, spy. I know what everybody else will say and yes it’s spying absolutely, mn will say how dare you, how juvenile, how this and that. And I’m not saying I recommend it 😀😉

But I do have a story, granted, it was when I was early 20s and very foolish and dating a tomcat, I was so besotted, but he liked all the girls while I was his main gf. One night voicing my suspicions to my girlfriends, they suggested we just go ver and see. So my friends and I went round to his house, and I actually climbed in a window and walked into the living room in my little dress and there he was, not with one girl, but TWO, sitting on the sofa. Haha. We had a few words and I said have fun, he said he will, and I looked at the girls and said it doesn’t look like too much fun and pranced out. He immediately came chasing me down in his car. It was the most fun I ever had 😂😂😂 I don’t suggest being this stupid btw. I’m really kidding about spying on him. Kinda. 😅

Nearly 5 hours later and you're still not happy with his answers. You've even referred to him as "not attractive" in relation to alleged wussiness.
The more you say the clearer it is that you don't have much respect for your boyfriend.
I'd encourage you be honest with yourself and consider what is it you want from him?
No it's not "the truth..." cos he's given you that and it wasn't a good enough truth.
It's also not "just be honest.." cos again he has been and it wasn't good enough for you.
So there's no more he can really say or do.
You either accept what he's saying and make your own decision like he's said from the start, or you're in for a looong night of overthinking.
If it's the latter, make sure you have snacks to get you through it.