I need an outsider's perspective on the dynamics in my relationship regarding money.
Me - sahm to 3 school age kids. Very part time job, between 100-400/month. I'm trying to find a job with more hours but not much luck so far
Oh - works full time, £5k/month take home.
Other than £400/month for groceries I get nothing from my husband. He does pay most of the bills, but I have to cover all school costs - trips, uniforms, shoes, after school clubs as well as gifts for family birthdays and fuel for my car. If I work in school holidays I'm expected to cover childcare costs. I am always broke by the middle of the month but if I ask oh for more money or pay for something on the joint account he might give it to me or he might sulk so I stopped asking as I get scared to ask. I've myself into credit card debt just trying to keep the kids fed and cared for. I can't afford anything like the dentist or hairdresser for myself. I've put on weight and can't afford a rain coat that fits.
My husband swans around in his flash car, cycles an e bike and plays around with his 3d printer. He obsessed over putting money away for the future when I can barely put food in the fridge. I can't talk about it, when I try I just end up with a lecture on how "broke" we are.
I should just be grateful he earns well and pays the mortgage and bills. So why do I feel so desperate and held hostage to when he decides something is worth spending money on?