My DH and I have been together for 5 years, married for 1.5 and have the most amazing happy 3yr old..... but things recently have been horrendous.
Through covid, despite both being at home with a new baby things were great - I remember thinking 'if we can survive being locked in a house with a newborn, we can survive anything!
A few weeks before the wedding we all got covid....his was worse than mine but we all came through it OK. Then just before the wedding he was in a lot of pain and discovered he had a small clot as a result of covid. They gave him blood thinners and sent him home but since that point he has become increasingly paranoid. The first 3 months of our marriage the majority of our conversations were about his heart rate monitor on his watch, he stopped going out and eventually quit his job as he wanted to focus on him feeling better.
Almost a year on and he is still unemployed, he is heavier and unhappiest with himself than ever and just increasingly difficult to be around. To add to this he lost a parent at the end of last year.
I appreciate this is all mental health related and I should support him - I have asked him to go and speak to someone but he point blank refuses.
All of the above I can cope with.... but what I am really struggling with is the way he treats our child who is naturally closer to me because daddy is always high or low. He gets jealous and tries to elicit hugs by scaring him telling him there is a monster behind him. Recently as DH is feeling out of control he has said we have to start being more strict with DS as he doesn't listen to him. DH regularly loses his temper, stomping around the house swearing and shouting and no matter how much I ask him not to he tells me I'm being ridiculous.
Recently he has become jealous and makes snidey comments any time I mention my work colleagues and even came over to see who I was messaging the other day. On top of this he has blown through £30k of savings in the last year and we have had multiple incidents of DH leaving medication around the house that DS has or could have got hold of. He is no longer on prescription meds but opts to buy and take asprin every day despite the doctor saying there is no need anymore.
I have tried to get him to get help, I even asked him to move out at Easter which he talked his way out of and things improved for a bit, but a few days later it was back to normal again. I am so tired of walking on eggshells, being told to 'f*ck off' multiple times a day and listening to sweary tantrums over things like the TV remote or ham sandwiches'. I have tried speaking to his mum but she is grieving and in denial I think.
I have spoken to my parents about leaving. I would be happier and financially stronger on my own - but they say I have to support him through this hard time - at what point do you say that the mental health excuse doesn't cut it anymore?