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Original poster

Despise giving oral

60 replies

Anon699 · 11/05/2023 02:49

I don't like giving oral to my SO and haven't in a long time. When I give oral he takes full control and I can hardly breathe because his hands are pushing my head so hard. He will say stuff like "Fucking relax already" or "You're making this hard." He's in general an irritable person but this makes me scared and my throat tenses up which makes him try harder. I can't move my head or he'll get more irritated.

I can't talk to him about it because I did once and he said I needed to get over it and said something like "Well you better train on a dildo then." I haven't bought it up since and we don't have sex other than when he wants head. And he usually guilts me into giving it.

OP posts:
Mochinated · 11/05/2023 02:50

He's abusing you. LTB

AP5Diva · 11/05/2023 02:59

LTB
I hate it too and haven’t done it or received it for over twenty years. It’s like marmite imho, and many people hate it and do not do it. You don’t have to keep on doing it, not for anyone.

Frances0911 · 11/05/2023 03:15

I hate it as well and have always refused. Sorry but he sounds like an absolute pig.

AnyFucker · 11/05/2023 03:16

You are being sexually abused. Please end this relationship.

MrsDrSpencerReid · 11/05/2023 03:17

You’re being abused. Get out, now.

And if he tries to force you again before you can leave, bite it off.

atsixesnsevens · 11/05/2023 03:22

He sounds awful. I love giving and receiving, but wouldn't stand for that!

ShandaLear · 11/05/2023 03:23

That’s sexual abuse, and he sounds like an awful human being.

LostRahRah · 11/05/2023 03:26

You need to get away from this abusive man OP. Sad

halfsiesonapotnoodle · 11/05/2023 03:27

Why on earth are you still with this revolting man? Please end this relationship. He sounds horrific.

MsFizz · 11/05/2023 03:30

You need to change the title of this post. The issue is not about you despising oral.

greenspaces4peace · 11/05/2023 03:54

yes this is sexual abuse and coercive control and all sorts of wrong.
totally an unhealthy relationship, he should never speak to you like that.
why are you still with him?

suburbophobe · 11/05/2023 03:56

He sounds revolting.

You have no obligation to stay in a relationship that makes you feel uncomfortable.

MrsMorrisey · 11/05/2023 03:58

Yeah that's not normal.

Total disrespect. If he is holding your head still he is using your mouth as just a warm hole.

What a disgusting excuse for a man.

suburbophobe · 11/05/2023 03:59

You need to change the title of this post.

OP can post any title that she wants. Please do not shame her any more.

Topseyt123 · 11/05/2023 04:06

This man is horrendously abusive. You need to get out of the relationship.

ETimport · 11/05/2023 04:11

How awful. It sounds like abuse most certainly.

LostRahRah · 11/05/2023 04:13

@Anon699 I'm so sorry for you, and it's so clear from your posts that you know this isn't ok. Nobody should ever be grabbing your head like that (actually quite horrible for him to be touching your head at all during oral and trying to be in control of it) or making you feel scared, or coercing you into doing things you hate, or belittling you and speaking to you in such an abusive way. You know this.

You don't need people here to tell you it's wrong. Of course you don't like it, nobody would enjoy having a penis shoved into their mouth and their head held in place or pushed onto it, that's not what consensual sex looks like.

I really hope that you can take strength from the comments here to believe that it's not you that's the problem, it is him, and take steps to get away from him permanently. Do you have somewhere else you can go?

AgentJohnson · 11/05/2023 05:21

Unfortunately, there are far too many men who think sex is something that women should do for them and not something that is optional and is done with them. Porn is made with this skewed belief in mind and reflects this abusive belief.

There isn’t a world, where this man cares what you think. Sex is about him and only him, your physical and emotional enjoyment isn’t on his radar. My advice, get as far away from this poor excuse for a human as possible. If you were my DD, I would have to be physically restrained from getting you away from him.

Comfortingpigeon · 11/05/2023 05:22

This is awful, not sex

BritInAus · 11/05/2023 05:27

This is absolutely hideous and is 100% abuse.
This is not the way people talk to each other in normal, loving relationships.
Please get out and stay away from this hideous man.

evuscha · 11/05/2023 05:45

OP, run. You really don’t need to stay with someone who treats you like this. Borderline rape if you say no/don’t want to and he coerces you into it.

Wfhandbored · 11/05/2023 05:51

If he likes it rough then there should be a conversation discussing boundaries, consenting and creating a safe word if both parties want to be involved. It sounds like he is abusing you and you are definitely not consenting. Oral sex doesn't have to be like that, it can be gentle and nice. He sounds forceful and abhorrent. LTB.

Zanatdy · 11/05/2023 05:59

This isn’t ok. Giving oral should be voluntary and I would hate it too if a partner held my head like that. He’s been watching too much porn. Get yourself away from this vile man - run, as I’m sure this isn’t the only way he’s abusing you. Women’s aid can help you, take care

Shoxfordian · 11/05/2023 06:31

He’s sexually assaulting you; it’s not ok and it’s not normal. If you never want to give oral again then that’s your choice: you’re an autonomous adult not a sex doll

ISwear · 11/05/2023 06:32

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request