Sorry for the length but didn't want to drip feed.
Been with my bf for 3+ years, we are both 37. I decided to end things with him yesterday because our relationship is stuck with no progression. I had made it clear in the early days of dating that I wanted marriage and kids by the time i was 38 - he had agreed at the time and said he understood the biological pressures. He has always maintained he would want to be married before having kids, so I know he isn't against the idea of marriage.
We still do not live together. Initially this was ok because he had just bought his first flat and was renovating it which took 2 years (why it took soooo long is another story). I already have my own place and had offered for him to stay with me while he did his own up but he preferred staying with his mum as she lived closer to his place than I did, and he was doing most of the work himself. I reluctantly accepted this as I felt I still lived close enough for him to travel to and from.
Anyway, we still live separately as now he is now enjoying living in his new place and doesn't want to rent it out just yet. And it's far too small for us both to move into. But we spend most of our week with each other, discuss and know each other's finances/spending habits, and have done long periods of travel so we know we can cohabit comfortably. We agreed that we didn't need to live together before getting married, and once married would move into my place, then sell both places and buy somewhere together.
Which brings us on to getting married. Last year he said it would be best if i put some timelines so he had something to plan towards. We both agreed later this year (Sept/Oct) for marriage - no wedding, just us going to registry office and honeymoon straight after, but he wanted to propose. I checked in with him in Jan if we were still on track as at work i need to book my holidays well in advance. He said Sept - we bought tickets for our 'honeymoon' and both took the time off.
We talked again in March and he said he wasn't sure he was ready as we hadn't lived together....We agreed he would spend most of the week at mine, however this never happened as there was always a reason he needed to be back home. It got to April and he said he felt Sept was too soon as he wasn't sure our relationship was strong enough. That we've been arguing recently (over his reluctance to move in, and his about turn on readiness for marriage!). So we agreed 21 May as the absolute deadline for him to figure out what he wanted. Yesterday, he told me he thought my timeline was too rushed and marriage still felt like an alien concept to him. That it feels like a big step. So i asked him what timelines he preferred - he admits he doesn't know!! But doesn't want to break up, can't imagine his life without me, just needs more time but doesn't know how much more time or what new information he needs to help his decision.
So basically, it feels like doesn't want to marry me and is just dragging his feet. I ended it with him yesterday as he doesn't like my plan, doesn't have his own plan and we are just stuck. He can't seem to understand why I don't have unlimited time to give him at my age! I still love him but it's making me feel really deflated that he keeps coming up with excuses to not marry me. So please tell, did i do the right thing or should I be more understanding?