Boyfriend checked out another woman in front of me

[namechanged9999]

We went out with his friend and he openly did it and he and his mate laughed about it. He said it was because I was bringing “big dick energy” and “being a cunt”. I wasn’t doing anything. We were sitting around a table the 3 of us laughing and having a drink. I didn’t insult him or his friend, was just being jolly. He says I deserved it. I’m not sure I can get past this. He didn’t like that I was being confident.

Well done for leaving him, OP.

@namechanged9999 well done for leaving him.

Your instincts that his behaviour was abusive are bang on. He was only ever going to escalate and keep chipping away at your confidence until you were trapped in his abuse cycle.

Not all men are intimidated by a successful, confident woman. You sadly chose one who has a tiny ego and self esteem so rather than looking at you with love, pride and respect he only saw his own defects and sought to bring you down to make himself feel less shit.

Now he can look at all the other woman he wants!

Meanwhile, you'll be killing it at your job and moving on to someone better who will make you happy and support your wins.

Well done for leaving him OP, never an easy thing to do but I'm sure in very little time you will thank yourself for doing so! He sounds like an absolute wanker who has zero respect for you and you deserve a million times better!! Never feel selfish for sharing good news about a promotion for a job etc, if he is unhappy at his job that sucks but that's his problem, If he cared about you he would be supportive of you and happy your in a good job! if anything he sounds immature, insecure and selfish himself! Good riddance he's gone!! time to take sometime to look after yourself and heal, you deserve it!!!

If you were a 'strong woman' you would probably not be in this situation. Because I very much doubt this is the first time he has demonstrated abuse towards you.

Also, there are plenty of men who appreciate all kinds of woman. The issue is that you keep dating and staying with abusers. It's not your fault you attract them...there's lots out there, but you need to take some responsibility too. You know what this guy is, so, time to go.

This isn't an 'all men' issue. It's a sort of men you choose to date and stay dating issue.

Text dump this guy and block. Stay single for a while until you've improved your view of men. Because I wouldn't encourage a man who has spite for women to date. So I won't encourage it on the reverse either.

Well done on getting rid.
He was just an anchor dragging you down.

Of course share your good news and successes with people and fuck off anyone who has issue with that.

BDE is meant to be a good thing, so not sure why he said you were being a cunt. The minute you get called a cunt by your partner is the same minute you need to end things though.

Impossible to say without knowing the circumstances in detail, what has been said, and hearing his side. I've not been in similar situations with careers, but we have friends who have much worse housing arrangements than we do in what we all know is a terrible market. I try to avoid talking about housing at all, and if the topic comes up I'm very careful to play down our good fortune because I know it makes them feel like shit.

Obviously don't know all the details and the wider context, but he sounds like an arsehole and saying you 'deserved it' is just gross. Sounded like he enjoyed belittling you and is jealous that you're happy rather than being happy for you. I think the only advice anyone on here can give you is to leave him, he sounds vile.

Bin. For lots of reasons. But BIN.

Yay just read your update. Well done!

Well done OP and don't look back!!

This would have been the start of a controlling and abusive relationship that would have wasted years of your life.

Of course you should be able to get excited and share if your work is going well! He is a total misogynist.

Never dim your sparkle for anyone! A real partner will celebrate your successes with you and be a rock in times of trouble - not be an anchor dragging you down to his miserable level. Glad you ditched the small dick motherf*cker.

My friend has just had a massive promotion to a seriously senior position while I'm just above minimum wage in a barely advice entry level job.

I am so stoked for her, were celebrating next week and it'll be parts on the back all round, she really really deserves her success.

I know she's not my romantic partner, but it illustrates that it really is just down to attitude whether you can stomach this kind of thing, because seriously, why would I not be thrilled for my friend who is a complete diamond and I love her!

He is truly vile.
You need to gather up all your self-respect and leave him

My abusive ex was like this! Dump the failing fucker before he brings you down. What a dick!

You are in ANOTHER abusive relationship.

You desperately need to do the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk to raise your low relationship bar and to figure out why you would for one minute tolerate being spoken to and humiliated by ANYONE like that.

Stay away from men until you figure this out.

I would suggest some counselling too.

His behaviour is that of utter scum.

Not normal behaviour.

The behaviour of the utter dregs of men.

Figure out why you are accepting this or you are going to keep ending up here.

Better to be alone than to be with SCUM.

If you HAVE dumped him.

Good job.

Just read the thread before posting. Don’t try to save face by doubting what she said.

Everyone looks, it’s only human.
However, to do in front of their SO and to deliberately ‘make them feel bad’ and embarrass them…. Is a bit shit and disrespectful. To call you the c word as well.

He sounds like a shitty person and crap boyfriend.

Go on you with the getting rid, you definitely deserve better!!! 💐

You are well rid of him. He sounds horrid.

if your career is blossoming, enjoy it and all the self esteem it brings. You’ve done nothing wrong so don’t let that stupid arse make you second guess yourself.