Is it too late to contact ow

[Biggirlpantsipink]

My husband admitted a half ONS recently it happened 10 years ago. I don’t believe his story. Is it too late to contact the ow? Would it make me feel any better to know he’s told me the truth? I’m lost, my trust has gone and I don’t know what to do. If I’d known at the time I would have left.

a half ONS ....... ?????

Only put the tip in.

What's half a one night stand?

If you think your husband is lying just leave him don't go contacting people

I was thinking maybe he left at 1am

But you know the truth now.......and no, you cannot contact someone ten year after a ONS. Hell, if it was only half a ONS (what on earth is that) they probably don't even remember. Why is he only admitting to it now? Sounds fishy to me.

Me too, knickers back on again before midnight !.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I think the distance from the betrayal doesn't lessen the pain.

If reading these kinds of thread teach us anything it is that your (D)H has probably not told you the whole truth - what is a half ONS, anyway? He will have told you the minimum he thinks he can get away with.

I am not sure what contacting the OW will achieve: your H has betrayed your trust and it is your relationship that is important now. Do you want to save it? Does your H want to save it? Work out what YOU want and work on that.

Good Luck 💐

What constitutes a half one night stand? He cheated and that's the bottom line. Personally I think it's way to late to contact the other woman. Her life will have certainly moved on and chances she probably knew nothing about you. Calling it a half one night sounds more like a lame half bullshit excuse for we didn't have full penetrative sex, which they probably did but you'll never know the truth.

I mean not full sex says he wasn’t aroused a full on bullshit story. If he admitted sex al I’d know - it’s worse being given the story I’ve been told. I hate myself I hate my life I feel such a fool.

Thanks I think you understand

She did know about me and is still married

Calm down, it was a decade ago.

Why has he told you after ten years?

There’s more chance the truth is it’s been a full blown affair for ten years and he keeps braking his promises of leaving you so now she has had enough and will out him, otherwise why tell you ten years later?

Id contact her if I was you, just to be sure.

Unless your husband is particularly memorable for some reason I don’t think you’re likely to get the story you want from the OW. I certainly couldn’t tell you the details of my ONSs of over a decade ago.

Quite apart from that, if you don’t believe he’s telling you the truth then you need to end your marriage, not harass another woman who didn’t even know you existed.

He's the bloody fool not you. The bastards lied to you for 10 years when you could have had a different and happier life rather than wasting 10 years on him. I'd feel so cheated on and cheated out of my time by a liar.

She knew me I had to leave the party to get back to the babysitter.

She probably won't remember him! And even if she does, she doesn't owe you any explanations. Sort out your issues with your husband and forget about contacting that woman

I don't think talking to the OW is what you need- you need to be able to trust what your husband is telling you and you can't (obviously, because he's telling you something that demonstrates untrustworthiness).

Has he said why he's told you this now?

Does he think you're thick? I'd feel so insulted I'd leave him that for sure

Did he tell you or did you find out?

If he told you, more likely to be true. He is an idiot for telling you. Either lie for 10 years and keep lying, or own up near the actual time it happened.

If you found out, I would bet there is plenty more you didn't discover.

Either way, I'm sorry you are dealing with this now. It may make your last 10 years feel like a lie. I'd recommend individual counselling regardless of whether you leave, get joint counselling, stay. It's a lot to come to terms with

Why? Why does OP need to know the details. She knows enough.

He wasn't aroused? 😂He thinks you were born last week OP.

He told me when he was drunk.

My life would have been so different if I’d know at the time. It’s somehow worse finding out years later to me anyways

He funked someone else else and lied about it for 10 years. I wouldn't contact the OW. I doubt you'll get an honest account of what happened. Why would she admit anything? She's been lying to her OH for 10 years as well. Do you love your husband? Do you want to stay or end it? He cheated 10 years ago but that doesn't make it better or less hurtful. For you it happened today. You need time to process it.