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Original poster

Off line all weekend except at night...

72 replies

agreenflag · 01/05/2023 14:09

Red flag?
A new guy I'm chatting to on line.
When I asked him after he returned on line from Saturday morning to Sunday night , he said he had been climbing a mountain so had no coverage.
He is off line again since we spoke last night.
Is he In a relationship ?
What else could it be ?

OP posts:
gogohmm · 01/05/2023 14:10

He could have been climbing a mountain?

loudbatperson · 01/05/2023 14:13

I am frequently offline in the day due to work, days out and spending time with friends and family.

I wouldn't think it was that unusual.

SequinDiscoBiscuits · 01/05/2023 14:14

I'll tell you what's a red flag, if someone I'd just started chatting to asked why I hadn't been online all weekend. I'd genuinely run a mile.

Original poster
agreenflag · 01/05/2023 14:15

I sent a message and it hasn't been opened or delivered even so he's definitely
Off line. As in he hasn't been on the app whatsoever since we spoke

OP posts:
WeWereInParis · 01/05/2023 14:31

What else could it be ?

He isn't someone who is constantly on his phone? Sounds like a plus.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 01/05/2023 15:31

Jesus you have not met him yet
chill !

make an assessment IF you finally meet
and don’t analyse so heavily it’s really unhealthy and it’s not good for your sanity

Crikeyalmighty · 01/05/2023 15:32

You haven't even met !

Stratocumulus · 01/05/2023 15:39

Get busy.
You are not currently his priority.
Give it time.
If he is mountain climbing, that sounds healthy. Could be a serious activity/hobby. Be prepared for those “no signal” outdoor times.

UsingChangeofName · 01/05/2023 15:44

SequinDiscoBiscuits · 01/05/2023 14:14

I'll tell you what's a red flag, if someone I'd just started chatting to asked why I hadn't been online all weekend. I'd genuinely run a mile.

This!

I hope the poor bloke finds what you are like and runs a mile

UsingChangeofName · 01/05/2023 15:46

Why do you think it odd that he is offline ? Confused

My dh has been away all weekend and I haven't heard from him. I'm not weird enough to have been checking if he has been on line at all, although I suspect he won't have signal for most of it.

Why do you think he hasn't been out of range of signal ? Confused

Michellebops · 01/05/2023 15:49

Or he has you blocked until his family are asleep, then he'll unblock to allow your message to deliver?

But seriously if it's only early in a chatting capacity that's a very weird question to ask.

You obviously don't believe he was climbing a mountain, was it listed as his hobbies on the dating app?

My partner is not technology minded and takes him days before looking at WhatsApp and has a backlog of messages.

Original poster
agreenflag · 01/05/2023 15:52

We're were chatting all week and he never mentioned climbing a mountain. In fact he said he was goi g to be spending weekend with family and friends at a local festival .

OP posts:
Thoughtful2355 · 01/05/2023 15:53

I mean people dont usually use climbing a mountain as a cover up lie...

You sound a little too intense for someone just chatting online to someone... your the walking red flag

Original poster
agreenflag · 01/05/2023 15:54

Ok thanks

OP posts:
XLáBealtaine · 01/05/2023 15:57

He doesn't owe it to you to be online. He hasn't met you.

If you were dating and you were trying to figure out if he were offline or married or up a mountain, the answers would be more in depth I reckon. But don't worry where he was. He is a stranger.

Original poster
agreenflag · 01/05/2023 15:57

He is only ever off line at weekends and his work does not need him to be online .
Thought it was strange that's all.

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 01/05/2023 15:57

You don't get the 'Red flag?' question with people you're compatible with, so as soon as you think there might be one, walk away. You don't need an answer, and nor can MN give you one.

nofusspot · 01/05/2023 15:58

gogohmm · 01/05/2023 14:10

He could have been climbing a mountain?

Hahaha!

There's keeping your whits about you and not rushing into things and there's seeing absolutely everything as a red flag and not trusting a word someone says.

Watchkeys · 01/05/2023 15:59

agreenflag · 01/05/2023 15:57

He is only ever off line at weekends and his work does not need him to be online .
Thought it was strange that's all.

He doesn't have to not be strange to you, though. He's his own man. You don't decide how he 'should' be, you decide if his behaviour makes you comfortable and smiley. If not, walk. You are your responsibility.

nofusspot · 01/05/2023 16:00

I do think the whole "red flag" thing is over used.

sammylady37 · 01/05/2023 16:01

SequinDiscoBiscuits · 01/05/2023 14:14

I'll tell you what's a red flag, if someone I'd just started chatting to asked why I hadn't been online all weekend. I'd genuinely run a mile.

This, a thousand times this!

ArcticSkewer · 01/05/2023 16:02

agreenflag · 01/05/2023 15:57

He is only ever off line at weekends and his work does not need him to be online .
Thought it was strange that's all.

I wouldn't be put off by all the other comments. I think you are right, it's a strange pattern, he could easily work away and return home to the wife at weekends - hence 'on' app weekdays and 'off' on weekends - until he can check in safely. Try calling him on a weekend evening.

XLáBealtaine · 01/05/2023 16:05

@agreenflag you might be right, it might well be strange, but the way to protect yourself (and you should prioritise this!) is to realise that he is a stranger. No matter what feelings have been generated by chatting online, it's not real.

When you meet somebody, if what they're saying doesn't add up, you're right to be aware that people lie/might lie.
When it happens, trust in yourself to get turned off/give up/move on.

I think looking out for red flags is scarier if we don't get instantly turned off. If we might try and rationalise it away.

I was on the receiving end of a lot of duplicity and it took me a while to get it. Just walk the moment your spidey senses tell you that something doesn't make sense.

Hope this doesn't sound out of turn.

gannett · 01/05/2023 16:33

There are so many threads on MN where posters refer to monitoring whether someone else is online. Is this seriously what dating is like nowadays? It's absolutely batshit behaviour. If I got wind that anyone was monitoring whether I was online or offline I'd run so fast and they would never see me again. Do literally anything else with your time!

JorisBonson · 01/05/2023 16:36

And you've not even met him. Pass his number on so we can warn him off.

I would run a mile if someone I've never even met and owe nothing to audited my online usage like that.

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