Off line all weekend except at night...

[agreenflag]

Red flag?
A new guy I'm chatting to on line.
When I asked him after he returned on line from Saturday morning to Sunday night , he said he had been climbing a mountain so had no coverage.
He is off line again since we spoke last night.
Is he In a relationship ?
What else could it be ?

I didn't ask him.
I asked you !

What app is it? If he was excited to hear from you and speak with you, he'd be opening your messages.

Not if he is up a mountain or in the middle of a field or moor or similar, or at a festival.
If you are nowhere near a plug socket for 3 days, it makes sense to have your phone off (or at least data) to save battery, even if you have signal.

Ex off mine used to be unavailable every sat till sun night for many reasons climbing a mountain wasn't one off them tho but yes he had another woman he seen most Saturday nights I found out when I'd had enough and turned up at his one Saturday 32 weeks pregnant to a half naked much older woman opening the door. Wirral area if its their hahaha

😮Because this is healthy behaviour! NOT

(Not to mention illegal)

Talk about red flags !! 😆

You're getting a hard time here op. Is it late at night when he's online. My thinking is that the other half has gone to bed.

Erm sorry but the red flags are you. Why should it matter if he is online or off-line thats just weird. Secondly if he aint that bothered replying back anyhow why are you so bothered with someone like that.

I don’t think you’re ready to date if you are monitoring when a man you haven’t even met if online. Maybe have a look at some therapy first and I mean this kindly but you must have some unresolved issues.

It isn't healthy to keep checking when someone has been online and even more so when you've not even met. What next, will he have a secret wife because he's read and not replied! Hint: the answer could be anything as as simple as he's read whilst on his bike or at the gym or having a pee.

He doesn't have to tell you anything as he's never met you and he isn't dating you. The fact he hasn't been online all day and doesn't answer until the evening doesn't mean he's lying about going climbing and is secretly married. It's easier to reply when you're sat at a desk working during the week than up a fucking mountain or out with friends.

Also it's rude to be on your phone when out with people. It's different if it's your child or husband or parent but you aren't any of this.

Could be that. Could be he uses his work phone so it's not on at weekends. Or he could have been with friends off his head🤷‍♀️

Potentially it could mean he has a second phone and at weekends he's at home with his wife so it's switched off.

Although I can't really imagine noticing this as a red flag so early on, which points to a paranoia issue with you. You may be right and he's up to something but don't forget he doesn't owe you ANYTHING. You sound quite intense but it's unclear if you'd be looking for red flags with everyone, or whether you've got excellent spidey senses!

When I was dating there was a bloke, I only met him twice. Never replied to messages between the hours of about 6 till 10. Ever. Found that a bit suss. I probed a bit and he said he 'went to his exes to see his kids' most nights. I dropped it because it might be true, might be bollocks but id no interest in finding out truth from fiction.

If some odd pattern bothers you early on, for whatever reason, don't over analyse it, just back away.

Date more, message less....

Messaging a guy constantly throughout a day when you've not met isn't healthy... and this thread helps demonstrate that!

It's quite commonly successful, too, though, so this is poor advice.

It's not about what you do, it's about how you feel about it. If you're sending messages before meeting and it feels good, then do it. If it doesn't, don't. Things feel good with compatible person and bad/questionable with others.

Ok you’re coming across a little over invested and stalkerish. Dudes a stranger who you habe never met.

@Watchkeys

It's quite commonly successful, too, though, so this is poor advice. It's not about what you do, it's about how you feel about it. If you're sending messages before meeting and it feels good, then do it. If it doesn't, don't. Things feel good with compatible person and bad/questionable with others.

I'm not sure why you think my advice is bad.

Building an emotional attachment (as the OP seems to have done) through frequent messaging throughout the day over a lengthy period of time before even meeting can lead to heartache that could have been avoided had meeting up occurred sooner.

By all means message for a week or so before meeting to assess a base level of comparability (and also, most people can't date a day or so after matching for practical reasons), but I maintain (from experience!) that allowing yourself to enter into a "WhatsApp relationship" before meeting is opening yourself up to unnecessary hurt.

Maintain your position all you like @gerbilcrocus, but what you're advising as a bad idea works for many people. Can't put it any clearer, and it simply is the case. Lots of people in happy relationships wouldn't be, if they had followed your advice, so that's why I'm saying it's poor advice.

@gerbilcrocus is right, and the OP is proving it. She's talking red flags regarding a stranger - or at best a penpal. All this 'chatting' has given her the idea that there's been some sort of progression into a relationship, but really, they are still at the preamble phase.

And yeah, great for people who have happy relationships after being penpals for yonks. but dating is a numbers game, and you are more likely to meet your match if you do exactly that - meet people, and lots of them.

Most people get to know each other for a while online before meeting. Op might be proof it doesn't work, but then I, and many others, are proof that it does, so none of the proof proves anything.

Agree with @gerbilcrocus and @ChristmasFluff

They aren't saying 'don't chat on-line' they are saying don't get over invested in someone you haven't even met yet.

I think you're missing my point. I'm not saying that a successful "real life" relationship can't develop after a lengthy period of frequent and even intimate online chat. Of course it can and you are appear to be living proof that it can.

All I'm saying is that meeting in real life, before you've made a significant emotional connection, is sensible because it avoids the potential for catfishing or realising that the mental image of the person doesn't remotely live up to reality.

Presumably, had you met your partner sooner in real life, that surely wouldn't have thwarted your relationship?! You would have lost nothing by meeting sooner...

Yet, those who do engage in "WhatsApp romances" and don't meet until they are emotionally connected, can most definitely regret it. I did so years ago in my 20s....

There's nothing to lose in meeting up quickly, but much to risk by not doing so.... And if you can't arrange a date for weeks for practical reasons, the chances are (and yes there will be exceptions) that you won't be able to sustain that relationship.

Where I live the mobile signal has been shocking the last 12 months a local mast has been down so signal has been intermittent. Maybe he’s in an area where signyis bad!
Hes not in Devon/Cornwall by any chance?