Can’t afford counselling, what else can we do?

[Smaram]

Hi,

Well basically just as the title says, I’d like to do some relationship counselling as I feel myself and partner really need it (I’m very unhappy at the moment in the relationship), but having looked at the costs per session it’s just not something we can afford.
Is there anything else we can do/try/read etc ?

Thanks for any suggestions 😊

What are the issues making it an unhappy relationship? It's hard to recommended anything if you don't say what they are.

Do you both want to do counselling, or just you? Is your DP unhappy?

Lots of lovely resources on the Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/

Quizzes and exercises you can do together, articles to read and discuss.

Do you have a charity counselling service in your area? We have a few in NI, they would do it for a much reduced fee.

Also some private counsellors may offer recuded rates, it's worth contacting some and asking.

Relate, I believe, ask only for what you can afford. They offer bursaries for those unable to pay. Might be worth a look.

I think it depends what the issues are as to what you can do. Are there friends you could turn to for help mediating? Do you need to organise time away from/with each other and can family or friends help there?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Marriage-Book-Nicky-Lee/dp/1905887396 this is a really good book. It's based on Christian faith but my partner & I used this and the accompanying workbooks and we are atheists so didn't find it a problem. It really helped us better understand eachother and improved our communication. We worked through the workbook/journal over a fortnight while on holiday. www.eden.co.uk/christian-books/family/engagement-and-marriage-preparation/the-marriage-course-guest-journal/

Do you both want to try to improve your relationship?

It’s not a substitute for counselling, but I would highly recommend listening to Terry Real’s Fierce Intimacy. It’s essentially an audio course for couples - ideally you’d both listen and follow along either together or separately. It’s transformed my relationship.