OP, there can be such a detached brutality to men, particularly when they have had their head turned, even though they invariably deny that is the case.
I am sure some women may do it but I certainly haven't come across it.
@yogacushions @Thisisworsethananticpated
Her friends that I know of, were absolutely 100% supportive of her.
However, her children and his siblings were a bit of "I know he behaved badly(🤔🤨 eh yea, he divorced her..wtf) but he really needs you now etc....🙄.
Obviously she realised the above was completely self serving.
The discussion around it for her friends was just how much shit are women to suck up, and how selfish people are,....... and how even children that you have spent 30 years being the best parent you can be to, ......CAN throw you a bit under a bus because it they are used to you always self sacrificing yourself for them.
She had always been the coper, and even in a brutal sudden divorce she spared her children the burden of how awful the loss of her home and her garden had been.
But she was quietly adamant that she was NOT going to be sucked into his care for her future in any way.
Her children and his siblings had to step up and they have to an extent, but a LOT less than he expected though.
They all have their busy lives and he had lived his life solely for himself up to that point, his children weren't long protecting THEMSELVES from his expectations of them.
He lives a very different life now.
She doesn't even ask about him, but nods politely when her children mention him.
She hasn't met anyone else but lives a really full life and is thoroughly enjoying a great retirement.
Her friends privately think she dodged a huge bullet after 30 years of a lazy selfish man, to then be launched into the role of his carer shortly after you retire, is a very tough hand to be dealt, but one that in a loving relationship you would try and reconcile yourself with.
Much harder to do that with a selfish arse.
I think my generation of women are a bit different to our mothers, we are slowly becoming far less accepting of the role of martyr.
Having raised our children and mostly held down FT careers, helped our own parents, many are far less likely to just suck up nursing in laws and and laying down our lives for men that were sub par in the relationship.
My circle have firmly told husbands that THEY are responsible for co ordinating care for THEIR parents and that retirement will be about doing what THEY want and they won't be dictated to about how it is spent.
Wise women have a strong supportive network as they approach retirement that they know will be probably their greatest support and comfort in many ways.
OP, he's an arse, you are well rid.
I would say it is indeed likely his head was turned!
Mind yourself and allow those that care to support you.