As per my title, I'd really appreciate some female perspectives on this situation. I've only had one and it was quite negative (end the relationship).
Met my girlfriend through a sport that she brings some of her kids to about 5 months ago.
She was widowed young and has raised her kids as a single parent. She's had a few relationships with single (divorced or separated) Dads but nothing that worked out.
She's 7 years older (31/38) if that's relevant (she has mentioned the age difference recently). She told a white lie about her age when we were first chatting (knocked a couple of years off), which I found funny/a bit ridiculous when she fessed up about a month in). I didn't really understand why she did it and wondered what the point of knocking only two years off was.
We live 40 mins or so apart, and she only has one official night off, as it were, when kids stay with their grandparents. I mostly stay at hers on that night because she likes to be at hand for the kids.
To get to the point (sorry); I occasionally get opportunities to go out in my hometown with friends/acquaintances during the week and very occasionally at the weekend.
I take the opportunities during the week, and occasionally take the opportunities at the weekend, which are usually a Sat night (her night "off"). These are not frequent. Some are couples things, others all guys and she would be the only female present if she went.
She is increasingly expressing annoyance and upset at me doing this. She says that she only gets one night off, that's "her" night and that I should not accept invites/arrange to meet others on a Sat. When I've done this (twice in 4 or 5 months so far) I've arranged to see her on Fri or Sun instead. Apparently this isn't good enough. I've explained that Sat night is the most likely night for a night out as people are whacked on Fri and working on Mon, but that didn't seem to register.
She's also getting increasingly annoyed at me even going out for a quiet drink (once a fortnight or month) on a mid week night; and the last time I did it; got upset and angry and accused me of not caring about the relationship and not being committed to it. She even suggested we finish then but didn't follow through as such.
She's said she's not used to people in a couple going out on their own and that it's a single person thing.
On the age comment; when we haven't had sex every weekend I see her (didn't happen til recently) she said "I was wondering how a 31 year old fella could be attracted to a nearly 39 year old". I assured her otherwise but she seems to have it in her head that I couldn't really be committed and that me going out for a drink also shows that.
I'm now very conscious/a bit stressed about accepting any invitations and feel like it shouldn't be that way.
She has one friend but she also has a family and doesn't seem to go out or do much without her husband.
She was a member of another sport club that has a social aspect to it, but left (it was where she met her most recent ex). She said there was an event on and he had asked if she was going, but she didn't because it wouldn't be appropriate now she's with me. I said I didn't mind her going and that if they were all that likely to get back together, I'd have thought they would've done it in the last year or so since they've been split. I told her she didn't need to avoid events at the club due to me but she didn't seem to take it onboard.
I like her a lot and saw a future (she is open to having more kids, if possible of course) but am feeling increasingly uncomfortable about these issues.