Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He is making me feel worthless ...

66 replies

plugthetelein · 24/04/2023 11:10

October last year I was introduced to a friends friend.
I had fancied him for ages and was over the moon.
He told me he had also liked me for ages and didn't think he stood a chance.
After a couple of months of dating -he said he turned down another woman because of me.
Then he's cockiness began.
He backtracked saying we weren't official and he was spoilt for choice.
He showed me three other women he was talking too -and when I reacted to this he's response was
"Are you going crazy? It's strange because my ex's they ended up going crazy because of me too"
At this moment I probably should have walked but I didn't.

I began trying to prove I was worth more than these other women and he upped the cockiness-sending screenshots of his call log showing how long he had been speaking to them.
Rubbing it in my face.
I asked if he had recently slept with them -he said yes.
That same night I was going to a gig with him and his friends.
We stayed at his friends house and slept in same bed -halfway during the night I woke up and he wasn't there.
I went downstairs and heard him on the phone
"So you want to come pick me up"
"You can if you want too"
At this point I lost my shit and said I'm done with this -you are making me crazy.
This isn't great is it?

OP posts:
Flamingofeathers · 24/04/2023 11:13

You need to walk away… read it back, what would you think if someone you didn’t know wrote this thread?

TheFormidableMrsC · 24/04/2023 11:16

He's an abusive arsehole and he's shown you what he is early on. Run and don't look back 🚩🚩🚩

Nimbostratus100 · 24/04/2023 11:17

just finish it, problem sorted

BranchGold · 24/04/2023 11:20

Well no, it’s not great if you’re planning to stay.

It’s an unpleasant 6 months with a tosser who you’ve binned off. Yes?

youwouldthink · 24/04/2023 11:25

What on earth are you doing with this loser?

LadyH846 · 24/04/2023 11:26

Get rid ASAP.

plugthetelein · 24/04/2023 11:40

It's like he's had a total personality transplant since we met to now.
Almost like all this female attention has gone to his head and he thinks he can just play with peoples emotions like he is.
Every day I wake up feeling like crap lately

OP posts:
Ofcourseshecan · 24/04/2023 11:43

You know the answer, OP! He may have reeled you in with nice behaviour in the first few weeks, but it didn’t take him long to show you what a jerk he really is.

WilkinsonM · 24/04/2023 11:44

plugthetelein · 24/04/2023 11:40

It's like he's had a total personality transplant since we met to now.
Almost like all this female attention has gone to his head and he thinks he can just play with peoples emotions like he is.
Every day I wake up feeling like crap lately

No he hasn't! He's always been an arsehole but was pretending not to be.

BranchGold · 24/04/2023 11:46

Oh dear, you’re going to let this drama drag on aren’t you?

Why do you think you’re so keen to analyse his behaviours, rather than reflect upon your own? Why do you want to be involved in this?

Fromage · 24/04/2023 11:46

He hasn't had a personality transplant - this IS his personality, he was like this all along.

Because he is a deceitful manipulative abusing nightmare, he led you to believe he was a decent person to hook you, now he is using your own insecurities against you - and trying to create some in you, maybe - to keep you attached.

You deserve better. Run for the hills!

Ansjovis · 24/04/2023 11:49

Essentially, we have:

Him: I do not care for you in any way, shape or form and I am not afraid to show it openly

You: pick me, pick me, pick me!

This guy is toxic and is not capable of or interested in providing any woman what they need in a relationship.

HeadacheEarthquake · 24/04/2023 11:59

So... dump him. What's the dilemma here?

Eyesopenwideawake · 24/04/2023 12:04

At this moment I probably should have walked but I didn't.

You didn't do it then, but you can do it now. Today.

SittingOnTheChair · 24/04/2023 12:21

Blimey. You need to leave him.

Why are you staying ?

SpringleDingle · 24/04/2023 12:24

He was never nice, he just pretended to be. Just block him and move on. He doesn’t even deserve an explanation or any drama. Block and ignore!

MargotDeWitt · 24/04/2023 12:27

plugthetelein · 24/04/2023 11:40

It's like he's had a total personality transplant since we met to now.
Almost like all this female attention has gone to his head and he thinks he can just play with peoples emotions like he is.
Every day I wake up feeling like crap lately

The answer is simple. Tell him to f off, block him everywhere, and wake up tomorrow feeling fantastic 😊

memyselfi · 24/04/2023 12:28

Well it's great if you mean it when you say you're done.

It isn't crystal clear if you've ended it though , have you ?

He's practically dumped himself - which is considerate .

HowManySunflowers · 24/04/2023 12:29

What an absolute tosser! Why would you want to be with someone like this?

Namechange666 · 24/04/2023 13:01

HE is the reason you've started waking up feeling like crap. Listen to your body and mind. It's giving you signals that this doesn't feel right and for a reason. Get rid of this loser and you might feel bad for a while but don't let this cretin hoover you back in.

He's literally trained you to do a pick me dance and you're still not good enough. And that is nothing about you and a 100 percent about him.

No one will ever be good enough and when he gets to his 50s and his hairline is fading faster than his belly grows out, he'll be all alone.

Don't be that girl. Be your own woman. It shouldn't be this hard. Don't you think you deserve something nicer in life than this twit?

strawberry2017 · 24/04/2023 13:05

You know the answer. He's an arsehole.
Tell him to fuck off and have some respect for yourself.
You deserve so much more.
There is NO saving this, his true colours have been shown.

slowsnow · 24/04/2023 13:09

Why would he show you the other woman he's trying to make you jealous that's horrible!!

FishChipsMushyPeas · 24/04/2023 13:12

"Are you going crazy? It's strange because my ex's they ended up going crazy because of me too"

Run. Don't walk.

pikantna · 24/04/2023 13:12

OP, either he is just a twat (very possible) or he has bought into this fucking ridiculous approach so many men are advised to use, designed to keep you guessing and dancing for him.

Either way you don't need him or his crap, so you know what to do.

Seas164 · 24/04/2023 13:13

This isn't great is it?

No, it's not my love. It's not great, it's not good, it's not even barely acceptable if you're scraping the barrel.

At this moment I probably should have walked but I didn't.

Well luckily now you've realised he is actually a bit of a scumbag, you can. So do it and put it down to experience. Don't spend any more of your energy wondering why, it doesn't matter and it's none of your business. You owe him nothing.