My Dd is emigrating and my heart is breaking

[Peonyist]

She's my only Dd (although I do have ds's), is 28 and is emigrating to Australia on 20 May. She's so excited and I'm happy for her, she deserves some happiness.

But I just feel like my heart is breaking. I'm widowed and I've also just sold our family home of the last 25 years so I know that this too is affecting my emotions.

She still lives with me and we get on brilliantly - we holiday together, we socialise together, nobody makes me laugh the way she does. I've got to the stage though where I'm avoiding her because I can't stop crying and I don't want her to see me crying. I know there's face time and Skype, I know I can go and visit her, but right now that's not much consolation.

Tomorrow, Dd, myself and one of my ds's are going away for the night to see another of my ds's so they can say goodbye. It will be really emotional I'm dreading it.

Im not really sure why I'm posting, I know there isn't really anything that can be said, I just wanted to write down how I'm feeling :(.

I’m the child that emigrated … was supposed to be temporary for 2 years … still across the Atlantic 4 years later. One piece of advice from the daughter perspective try and be as supportive and encouraging as possible … my mum isn’t , constantly asks me to move back tells me she’s missing out on my life ,plays the guilt trip etc and it’s awful I miss her so much too but the guilt tripping makes me feel rubbish

Thank you so much for the further messages, view points, sympathy, kindness and wisdom. I hadn't heard the "roots and wings" phrase before - it sums it all up nice and briefly doesn't it?!

Tonight has been so difficult - Dd, ds3 and I are visiting ds1 overnight. We won't see him tomorrow because he has to work so he and Dd had to say their goodbyes tonight. I had to walk away at the end of the night on a pretext - watching them hugging and crying was very hard :(.

Oh bless you. It's wonderful your children are that close. You've done such a lovely job with them.

My dd is currently travelling and I'm terrified she will fall in love with somewhere and want to stay! But like you I know if she does I will support her.

hugs OP that must be really upsetting. Wishing you & your DD all the best, sometimes these things aren’t forever though, who knows she could be back in a few years.

Been thinking of you. I can only imagine how tough it is having so much loss in a short period of time.

I hope you are arranging new hobbies or things to keep you looking forward when DD leaves, and planning your first holiday to go and see her.
I found that although nothing stopped me missing my daughter, seeing her in her new life so I know she was happy and doing well helped a lot.

My daughter moved abroad on January 1st. Not as far as Australia (so not as big a deal as your situation). The airport was hideous. Parents saying goodbye to their adult children and tears on both sides. Then my usually static daughter cried the whole time. It was awful.

I think both of us would have been better without me having the airport.

Also, as a pp said tracking your dd might help. Stalkerish maybe but it can make you feel part of the experience. And make the distance feel smaller.

STOIC! Not static!

And the airport was particularly bad because it was post Christmas. Its likely there'll be more holiday makers in May so less sad all round

My sister is prone to aggressive outbursts on whatsaop because she is impulsive and doesn't mull. She misleads then hits out. As I said, she's a difficult woman! I don't use it with her because I needed to set boundaries against her aggression. I expect the pre existing temperaments and relationships significantly influence how relationships change when contact ia virtual and not in person.

Planning my first vist out helped me too. Obviously I gave her time to settle, but within a month she was asking me when I'd be coming over. Her younger sister went out first, within six months of her sister moving out, and came back with great reports of her happiness and lovely house and once I had a date when I knew I would be seeing her again, it really helped.