Told a lie to dh and now stressing

[Rosesrme]

Good afternoon

I have fucked up and told a lie to dh and now I am stressing that it's going to unravel

About a year ago we stopped being eligible for child benefit due to me earning just over the threshold. Dh spotted this first and asked me to contact the DWP to stop our payments. I said I would but forgot. Every month I planned to do it, but forgot. The money just goes into our joint account and gets swallowed up. I haven't used it on anything for me personally etc.

Any, last week dh mentioned child benefit and made reference to the fact that we no longer get it. He then said something like " it's been a about a year since we stopped ours isn't it". I just said 'Yes'.

I have now cancelled it but feel terribe. I know that I may get a bill but I will just pay that if and when it comes.

My biggest worry is that a child benefit statement etc might come in the post - is that something that happens, like a bank statement that shows all of the CB that you have claimed? I can't recall seeing anything like this before - does this happen?

I know I should have been honest but it just ran away with me. I am so not a dishonest person normally and feel like I have broken his trust.

You have made him an unwilling party in benefit fraud. You need to tell him.

I think that I will have to pay a bill which is fine. I am going to call hmrc tomorrow to see if I can arrange this.

I think you’re getting het up for nothing. Just tell your DH. If he’s upset, it is what it is. People make mistakes, including panicking about having made a mistake! You’ll take care of a bill if it comes. Remind yourself and your DH that the best way to approach all circumstances is as a team so take the problem from between you and put it in front of you so you can tackle it side by side. Talk about why you were so afraid to come clean straight away and work together to build up trust so your marriage is a space space for both of you to make mistakes, learn and grow.

Thanks. Do you think that there will be a statement sent, or anything like that?

Ignore @MumLass this isn't benefit fraud and she is being needlessly cruel.

It's not fraudulent to claim if you're over the threshold, it just means you have to pay it back via self assessment. If you're only just over 50k then you're still entitled to most of it anyway!

Tax Scouts are brilliant for sorting a hassle free tax return in about 10 mins, just go online and do one, pay the bill and if you like, tell DH.

I don’t think that’s true. Fraud is intentional, this was simply a mistake which will be rectified.

Anyway, I’ve heard HMRC is surprisingly good at tracking down unwitting folk who have mistakenly failed to stop the credits, and demanding the credit back!

@Rosesrme you won't get a statement, it takes years for them to catch up with you! Just do a self assessment and forget about it.

HMRC will just tell you to do self assessment.

It's not fraud

Shame the tax year in question is over as you could have potentially bunged a bit more into your pension to bring you back under the threshold

You'll just have to pay it back, no biggie

You may not need to pay it back if your wage is just over threshold as you can offset pension contributions

They deduct pension off the annual salary amount I think so you may still be entitled to it.
They also claim back in arrears so if you do owe anything they will write to you telling you to do a self assessment and pay back anything you owe. Even if you are earning over just 60k your pension contributions will be deducted from your salary so you will only pay back a portion.
Its not benefit fraud, you pay back any overpayments, its quite straightforward.

"You have made him an unwilling party in benefit fraud."

😆😆 nope

Few things here.

how much do you earn, just over £50k? Or £60k? Does it include pension contributions? If you earn just over £50k gross but pay into a pension (for example)you may have nothing to pay.

If your adjusted net income is £50-£60k you’ll have to pay back a portion via self assessment. For the Apr 2022-Apr2023 tax year, you have u til the end of Jan 24 to do this

First step is to contact HMRC and see if you owe anything.

Letters on this will arrive from them.

Is there more going on here op. Are you scared of your husband? Just thinking with mine my reaction would have been 'oh buggerty bugger, I forgot.'

If you don’t know what you’re talking about, you really should stay quiet.

Don't panic, it can be easily sorted with a phone call to HMRC. If you feel you still can't tell him this is what you need to address. I hid so many financial things from exh because he used to go bananas and abusive. I hope this isn't you OP. Oh and ignore the scaremongering MumLass
X

Fraud is intentional, this was simply a mistake which will be rectified.

I mean, call them tomorrow, OP.

But a mistake? OP didn't do anything about it for a year.

One of the great mysteries of MN is why the first comment is so often a nasty snipe. I wonder if these posters lay in wait for new threads to leap on.

It is a mistake OP - fess up now and sort it out.

Say to DH ‘you mentioning about the child benefit made me think so I double checked and it is cancelled but we’ve been paid some in the mean time. I’ll make a note to sort out a tax return at the right time to make sure it’s all square’
why are you worried to tell him? Are you scared of his reaction? It’s a simple mistake, easily rectified and hopefully if you treat it as such, so will he.

Just complete your self assessment and you will be told what you owe.

Fraud, Jesus Christ. OP has reported it and will pay back what’s owed.

HRMC have always been spectacularly helpful when advice is needed.

Don't beat yourself up, just say you have just realised you didn't do the final click as you tried to I for DWP last year and forgot about it.

IME it will take them around 5 years to contact you. They have owed me money for 10 years after wrongly extracting money from my pay when I hadn't been overpaid, as they said.

What are you actual earnings, taking into account pension conts etc? Look up gov.uk HICB adjusted net income.

If they are still over 50k, call HMRC and ask to get set up for self assessment.

The put some more money into your pension so you're not over 50k.

Very, very common for people to not have an awareness of how it works.

My dh forgot to cancel it too and they gave him a bill to pay. I wasn’t bothered- he made a mistake and he paid the bill - all sorted

Oh this reminds me that we are about to lose our child benefit too because of DH’s promotion.. it doesn’t come in to effect for a few months but when do I need to let HMRC know? And how?

Lying isn't good. But let's get this into perspective. You play it down and say to Dh oh sorry I thought I had (ie notified them).

Ring HMRC. once you go over the £50K threshold. They often contact you themselves to tell you that you have to submit a higher rate self-assessment tax. And if you're only just over the 50 K and you up your pensions a bit you only have to pay a tiny bit of your child benefit back. Ring them and see what they say.