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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Told a lie to dh and now stressing

59 replies

Rosesrme · 23/04/2023 14:15

Good afternoon

I have fucked up and told a lie to dh and now I am stressing that it's going to unravel

About a year ago we stopped being eligible for child benefit due to me earning just over the threshold. Dh spotted this first and asked me to contact the DWP to stop our payments. I said I would but forgot. Every month I planned to do it, but forgot. The money just goes into our joint account and gets swallowed up. I haven't used it on anything for me personally etc.

Any, last week dh mentioned child benefit and made reference to the fact that we no longer get it. He then said something like " it's been a about a year since we stopped ours isn't it". I just said 'Yes'.

I have now cancelled it but feel terribe. I know that I may get a bill but I will just pay that if and when it comes.

My biggest worry is that a child benefit statement etc might come in the post - is that something that happens, like a bank statement that shows all of the CB that you have claimed? I can't recall seeing anything like this before - does this happen?

I know I should have been honest but it just ran away with me. I am so not a dishonest person normally and feel like I have broken his trust.

OP posts:
Thehobbit2013 · 23/04/2023 14:52

You won’t get a statement. As you are over the threshold then you need to complete a tax return through government gateway. You should wait until you have your p60 as you will need to include certain information from it. You have until 31 January 2024 to complete the tax return. It will calculate how much additional tax is owed and you can then either pay this as a lump sum or have your tax code amended to pay it back monthly through salary.

As previous posters have mentioned once you reach the threshold after pension deductions then child benefit is reduced on a sliding scale so if you are only just over the threshold it will likely be beneficial to claim cb and pay the additional tax for any over payment.

Maray1967 · 23/04/2023 14:53

MumLass · 23/04/2023 14:17

You have made him an unwilling party in benefit fraud. You need to tell him.

Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not benefit fraud as you’re entitled to claim it - you just have to pay the tax if you earn over the threshold. It’s nothing to do with him in any case as she is the high earner.

OP, my DH is the high earner and has to pay CB back in tax as I refuse to stop claiming it. No paperwork comes to me - he deals with HMRC & has to do the tax assessment. So as far as I’m aware you need to get on to HMRC and declare it and fill in the tax assessment.

Bumfluffs · 23/04/2023 14:54

Don’t worry OP. We were in this position last year. We had a letter saying that we had to do a self assessment due to DH earning over £50k.

I stopped the payments straight away paid about £400 back for that tax year and then had to pay £1050 ish back this year as he’d earned over £60k

Ignore the div who said it’s benefit fraud, it’s really not and you’re still entitled to claim it. We never had any letters about CB, just a request for a self assessment.

somethingslastforever · 23/04/2023 14:54

MumLass · 23/04/2023 14:17

You have made him an unwilling party in benefit fraud. You need to tell him.

Bit dramatic

Hi246 · 23/04/2023 14:54

OP don't worry. I realised we'd been claiming for sometime after we should. I gave mine and my partners national insurance numbers.
They were very clear that I wasn't to worry and a note had gone on record this was not fraudulent, this had been declared. They said they could investigate from the codes when wages had risen and by how much- and what was owed. It would simply be taken in tax with no other correspondence. He said we might notice being taxed a little more than normal at the end of the financial year. No letters arrived and to be honest we never really noticed it. I'd be upfront with hmrc but say nothing to your oh and hope for the best it will probably be fine.

Sunny24 · 23/04/2023 14:56

Have you included your pension contributions in your calculations @Rosesrme?

hoophoophooray · 23/04/2023 14:58

It's after pension contributions so it might not be as much as you think if you are only just over

On paper I earn over £50k, but my pension contribution mean my taxable pay is about £52k. I have to pay back 20% ish of the benefit and I've done it via my tax code so it just goes back a bit every month.

Call them, you will have to do a self assessment return and then make arrangements to pay but it is not as bad as you think, honestly

LadyJ2023 · 23/04/2023 15:05

This is absolutely benefit fraud continuing to take money that is not yours and knowingly aswell. Doesn't matter what you spent it on you spent it knowing you should have canceled it! Lying to your other half what an adult you are as you have basically made him an accessory in fraud without him even knowing it!

DustyLee123 · 23/04/2023 15:07

The easiest way to get over it, is to tell him. Just say you kept forgetting to do it, but it’s done now. Honesty is the best policy.

SheilaFentiman · 23/04/2023 15:12

LadyJ2023 · 23/04/2023 15:05

This is absolutely benefit fraud continuing to take money that is not yours and knowingly aswell. Doesn't matter what you spent it on you spent it knowing you should have canceled it! Lying to your other half what an adult you are as you have basically made him an accessory in fraud without him even knowing it!

No, it isn’t. You just adjust in your tax return.

gaaaaahhhhhh · 23/04/2023 15:14

Ridiculous to say it's benefit fraud. How dramatic 🙄

Everyone is entitled to claim child benefit for their first two children. Some don't as they know they'll pay it back in a roundabout way if they earn over the threshold.

There was a point in time where if you didn't claim CB, and we're a SAHP, it effected your NI/pension contributions.

I've always claimed CB and DH is a high earner.

It just gets sorted though his self assessment.

We've never had any correspondence about it either

gaaaaahhhhhh · 23/04/2023 15:16

Also why are you so worried about this. I

Surely he has access to the accounts and has seen it going in? If he's so concerned why didn't he call and cancel it? Or at least reminded you?

Randobelia · 23/04/2023 15:35

Oh my fuck

High income child benefit charge is exactly that, OP has more committed "benefit fraud" than I'm fucking Beyonce

🙄

Easily sorted OP.

Chenford · 23/04/2023 16:05

LadyJ2023 · 23/04/2023 15:05

This is absolutely benefit fraud continuing to take money that is not yours and knowingly aswell. Doesn't matter what you spent it on you spent it knowing you should have canceled it! Lying to your other half what an adult you are as you have basically made him an accessory in fraud without him even knowing it!

Are you aware of how the High Income Benefit Charge works, @LadyJ2023 ?

Lejuge28 · 23/04/2023 16:12

It's not benefit fraud as everyone is entitled to claim child benefit regardless of income, the only difference is when your income goes above 50k, you start to pay back some of the child benefit you have received in the tax year via a tax return. It is 1% for every £1000 you earn over the 50k.

Lejuge28 · 23/04/2023 16:15

Also those saying OP has made her partner an accessory to fraud.

This isn't fraud but even if it was, as she is high earner it would only her that would be commiting the offence as child benefit is her name and she is the one who has complete the tax return.

Botw1 · 23/04/2023 16:20

Are you scared of your dh?

This seems like a bit of an over reaction

SmirnoffIceIsNice · 23/04/2023 16:20

I had to arrange to pay some back after forgetting to cancel. HMRC didn't send a statement but they did send a letter stating what had been agreed regarding the pay back. I'm assuming your CB must have been paid into a separate account of yours OP as surely your DH would have seen the payment still coming into the bank account each month?

HelpMeGetThrough · 23/04/2023 16:21

I think that I will have to pay a bill which is fine. I am going to call hmrc tomorrow to see if I can arrange this.

You'll need to do a tax return and that'll tell you how much you need to pay back. If 60k or over, it's the lot.

Original poster
Rosesrme · 23/04/2023 16:22

SmirnoffIceIsNice · 23/04/2023 16:20

I had to arrange to pay some back after forgetting to cancel. HMRC didn't send a statement but they did send a letter stating what had been agreed regarding the pay back. I'm assuming your CB must have been paid into a separate account of yours OP as surely your DH would have seen the payment still coming into the bank account each month?

Hi, It goes into my acccount so he wouldn't have seen it

OP posts:
Littlebluebellwoods · 23/04/2023 16:22

MumLass · 23/04/2023 14:17

You have made him an unwilling party in benefit fraud. You need to tell him.

Yes the jails are full of folks who forget to stop their child benefit claims.😂

slamfightbrightlight · 23/04/2023 16:27

OP, you really need to heed those who are asking how close you are to the threshold and what your pension contributions are - there is a chance you have claimed it entirely correctly.

mewkins · 23/04/2023 16:29

Witsend101 · 23/04/2023 14:30

You may not need to pay it back if your wage is just over threshold as you can offset pension contributions

Echoing this. I'm looking into it as just gone over the threshold but my pension contributions offset it.

Lots on mumsnet commenting on things they have bugger all knowledge of as usual.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 23/04/2023 17:15

You made a human error
and one that’s pretty easy to make
im pretty suprised they didn’t clock this to be honest ! Hardly rocket science @

sort it , pay it back

and just tell him ! What’s he going to do !
say on shit , be annoyed
and then move on because we all fuck up

FlemCandango · 23/04/2023 17:18

Don't stress op - you have not done anything even slightly fraudulent 🙄

I claim child benefit and as DH earns over the threshold we have been filling out the self assessment forms each year and paying the tax. You will simply need to set up online access to HMRC which is very easy to do. Fill out the SA tax form and pay what you owe which for tax year 22/23 will be due to be paid by January 2024.

You can cancel child benefit or continue to claim and pay the tax charge, either is perfectly acceptable. Anyone implying you are doing something wrong by claiming child benefit are wrong themselves.

Not being upfront with your DH is the only thing you need to think about as that is more problematic.

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