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Original poster

Nervous DP isn’t as attracted to me anymore??

61 replies

meeeeeepmeep · 20/04/2023 00:50

I don’t know if I’m just overthinking things. My DP says he thinks I’m beautiful and stunning and I don’t need make up etc. he will compliment me but sometimes I have to ask now.

Today whilst we were getting ready to go out, I walked in in a short tight gym top which he would normally love but he didn’t say anything. I had to ask him later if he likes it and he said “of course I do”. I felt like before I wouldn’t have had to ask, and he said “I was distracted by the chores” and “I help more around the house now we’ve been together longer, so I was just busy focusing on that”.

I later put up a story of me and my friend where my body looks good. He replied to it with a laughing face as there was funny content in it. I had to ask again about the outfit and he said he was “just focused on the funny part at first”.

Am I being silly??

OP posts:
GarlicGrace · 20/04/2023 00:55

You are being silly, imo. Do you really feel your relationship depends on DP admiring your body at all moments? Perhaps he relates to you as a whole person, funny SM posts included. He puts effort into your joint life (doing chores). Would you rather he sat motionless, admiring your physique, instead of taking an active part in your lives?

JimnJoyce · 20/04/2023 01:02

you sound hard work

neveradullmoment99 · 20/04/2023 01:06

Yes, silly and insecure. Best way to suffocate a relationship.

CallieQ · 20/04/2023 01:15

Am I being silly??

Yes

Bearpawk · 20/04/2023 01:17

You sound very needy. I'd work on your insecurities before you drive him
Mad/away.

BlüeöysterCunt · 20/04/2023 01:29

You sound quite shallow - maybe stop basing your self worth on how you look. It's all very attention-seeking.

Itsallok · 20/04/2023 01:38

Yes you are overthinking things and setting your relationship up to be one based on what you look like. So shallow and meaningless. This is the stuff of crap reality TV not real life

BritInAus · 20/04/2023 01:46

I don't mean this rudely, but are you very very young?
"I put up a photo where my body looks good" - do people really think things like this?

GreyCarpet · 20/04/2023 07:10

Perhaps he feels that he's told you often enough that he likes your body. Perhaps doesn't want you to think that's all he likes you for.

If you know your body looks good and feel confident enough to post photos on SM of you showing off your body, he probably doesn't feel the need to keep telling you.

Maybe he doesn't want to make crass comments about your body publicly.

Pahpahpotato · 20/04/2023 07:11

Yes, very silly. If I were you, I think I’d be looking closer at my need for attention and external validation.

ThisIsaNiceDress · 20/04/2023 07:12

Everything to be said here has already been said. OP, the problem lies with you in this occasion, sorry. Address it sooner rather than later, your looks won’t be there forever.

AlexisR · 20/04/2023 07:13

Maybe your patner is just aware that women get a lot of objectification and he wants to appreciate you as a whole person. I do think you are overthinking it tbh. My DH struggles a bit with this as he doesn't want to objectify me, so he will sometimes notice but try not to comment - I have to tell him as my husband it's OK to comment 😂

DustyLee123 · 20/04/2023 07:14

Its you, not him.

MissMaple82 · 20/04/2023 07:14

This can't possibly be real...

WhereAreYouuu · 20/04/2023 07:14

If my partner needed me to validate his body every time he walked passed without a top on or every photo he put on social media that would be such a red flag to me.

You're together, surely that's proof enough that he likes you?

How old are you?! Just curious.

Channellingsophistication · 20/04/2023 07:16

Yes. Why have you got a constant need for him to admire your body?

If he made admiring comments all the time, wouldn’t you then think that he liked you for your body only and not other qualities?

I think you should think about why you feel so insecure.

C1N1C · 20/04/2023 07:17

He doesn't compliment me every five minutes and now I'm sad...

For the record, there's also often a double standard here. Do you tell him? I remember both times my wife ever complimented me that way... once at the wedding, she said I was handsome, and a few weeks ago (after 6 months the at the gym), she said I had nice arms. But I practically tell her every day.

Men like compliments too!!!

AiryFairy12 · 20/04/2023 07:17

You're way too insecure.

DriedFlowersLiveForever · 20/04/2023 07:17

Are you under 20 years old or a Love Island contestant?
Maybe he's fed up of you being all 'me me me' and genuinely just wanted to get on with cleaning the bog without propping up your ego for ten minutes.

Seaoftroubles · 20/04/2023 07:21

Yes, silly, insecure and immature.

DrHousecuredme · 20/04/2023 07:23

Honestly you are very focussed on appearance and on getting validation of these from your dp at all times. I wonder why that is?
Is it worth exploring this with a counsellor for a couple of sessions?
Only suggesting this because for one thing, you constant need for validation could well frustrate and push your dp away over time.
Secondly, as you get older yes I'm assuming you're quite young your looks will fade and this could cause some strong feelings if you've been focussed on them at that point.

Tontostitis · 20/04/2023 07:24

How old are you?

Slimjimtobe · 20/04/2023 07:25

This so strange and it’s a bit attention seeking

SpringleDingle · 20/04/2023 07:26

Yes, you are being nuts! Stop or you will destroy this relationship.

Sillybollocks · 20/04/2023 07:28

He compliments your looks but you push him for more. He commented on your sense of humour but you were upset it wasn't about your appearance. You obviously have your insecurities but demanding compliments is not the way to address them. I would find this so boring and suffocating. Counselling?