Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Nervous DP isn’t as attracted to me anymore??

61 replies

meeeeeepmeep · 20/04/2023 00:50

I don’t know if I’m just overthinking things. My DP says he thinks I’m beautiful and stunning and I don’t need make up etc. he will compliment me but sometimes I have to ask now.

Today whilst we were getting ready to go out, I walked in in a short tight gym top which he would normally love but he didn’t say anything. I had to ask him later if he likes it and he said “of course I do”. I felt like before I wouldn’t have had to ask, and he said “I was distracted by the chores” and “I help more around the house now we’ve been together longer, so I was just busy focusing on that”.

I later put up a story of me and my friend where my body looks good. He replied to it with a laughing face as there was funny content in it. I had to ask again about the outfit and he said he was “just focused on the funny part at first”.

Am I being silly??

OP posts:
ChrisTrepidation · 20/04/2023 07:28

What did I just read?

IQuiteLikeFaggots · 20/04/2023 07:35

I suspect he's already fed up of your need for adoration about your looks.

And you actually posted about your looks???

Parky04 · 20/04/2023 07:37

Blimey, if true, you are way too needy!

Namechanger355 · 20/04/2023 07:39

Is this made up?

if not - wow. You seem superficial, needy and insecure - all off putting even if you have s great body

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 20/04/2023 07:48

I'd find it utterly draining if I had to compliment my partner every single time she wore something nice or comment on every Facebook post etc.

Accept the compliments you get.

Peapodburgundybouquet · 20/04/2023 07:52

Fuck sake… 😆

Peapodburgundybouquet · 20/04/2023 07:54

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 20/04/2023 07:48

I'd find it utterly draining if I had to compliment my partner every single time she wore something nice or comment on every Facebook post etc.

Accept the compliments you get.

I think the OP is asking for it anything she wears anything, not just nice stuff.

Daisiesandprimroses · 20/04/2023 07:55

He might be starting to find you quite shallow. This constant need for compliments.

i doubt it’s your appearance, but your behaviour might make him find you unattractive.

AgentProvocateur · 20/04/2023 08:00

You sound needy and insecure. Quickest way to end a relationship.

NotmyRLname · 20/04/2023 08:02

Ageing is going to be extremely difficult for you

Original poster
meeeeeepmeep · 20/04/2023 08:23

Sorry I just worried because he did always used to make these comments and now he’s blaming chores as an excuse? Just seems a bit odd. I’m 21

OP posts:
PortiasBiscuit · 20/04/2023 08:39

Oh dear, I think my lovely DH of 22 years has noticed what I am wearing once.. and that was when I was in a wedding dress.. and someone had to remind him to say something.

The people that truly love you are far more interested in your inside than your outside, honestly!
I would see this as a positive thing OP.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 20/04/2023 08:40

How long have you been together? You seem needy. You're young still, please try to work on your self-image and understand that your feelings of worth should not come from someone telling you that you look good.

PortiasBiscuit · 20/04/2023 08:41

However you are very young, if you are not ready for more routine affection, then there would be no shame in going to look for that intensity of sexual attraction in a new relationship.

EliflurtleTripanInfinite · 20/04/2023 08:48

Not odd at all to have less compliments as you get more serious in a relationship. The initial attraction might be a lot more about looks, but it becomes more about being attracted to you as a whole person. When you're the person they love it's very different to the early days where it's more attraction than love, deeper and more meaningful type od attraction.

IsAGirlMumma · 20/04/2023 09:18

JimnJoyce · 20/04/2023 01:02

you sound hard work

This.

neveradullmoment99 · 20/04/2023 09:23

You sound like you don't have much experience relationship wise and tbh, you are only 21 [ was expecting you to be a lot older] and maybe you don't realise that relationships evolve. Not sure how long you have been together but the excitement of a new relationship doesn't last. It moves on in many different ways as does life. If you are just together [as in a couple of months] then maybe it might be an issue.

neveradullmoment99 · 20/04/2023 09:25

When I say it moves on, I mean it isn't bad it just becomes more than superficial attraction. It is deeper and as other posters have said, it is about you as a whole person, not just about looks.

neveradullmoment99 · 20/04/2023 09:25

IsAGirlMumma · 20/04/2023 09:18

This.

Show quote history

She is only 21.

Livinghappy · 20/04/2023 09:29

Have you read the feedback on here? If so do you understand it?

neveradullmoment99 · 20/04/2023 09:33

Livinghappy · 20/04/2023 09:29

Have you read the feedback on here? If so do you understand it?

Yes, my comment still stands. Relationships move on.

MoongazyHare · 20/04/2023 09:39

If I had reached the point in a relationship where we had shared chores, i.e. had moved in together, I would be horrified if my partner only valued me as a fuckable body. And if I had reached the age of 21 and still only thought of my own value in terms of how my body looked, I’d be questioning whether or not I had grown up enough to be in a relationship at all.

StarDolphins · 20/04/2023 09:45

I would never ask for compliments, it would make me cringe! I like how I look & what I wear so that’s all that matters!

Sorry op, you sound hard work & insecure!

Yes it’s lively to get compliments but don’t rely on them.

RayofSunshine18 · 20/04/2023 09:49

I think you are being a little silly yes. Be careful you dont push him away with the constant need for validation.

It seems that you are insecure and looking for your partner for validation on your appearance.

My question is, what about what is inside? You don't seem to need validation on that - do you not care weather he likes you for your personality and mind, rather than just weather he finds you attractive and likes the tight clothing you wear? Just a thought?

EmilyGilmoresSass · 20/04/2023 09:51

I don't know how your married, you sound about 12 years of age going off your OP.