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Original poster

Ex coming to stay with us on holiday

77 replies

Dandelionsinthegarden · 18/04/2023 20:04

Hiya hope I can explain this properly.
I'm on UK holiday at the moment with my DC, just me and them. I have BF of approx 8 months (met my DC no red flags there).
Also get on well with ex, we co parent well, have DC 50/50, I'll pop over for a coffee on a Sunday very occasionally to see DC whilst in his care if I'm at a loose end.
Ex has suggested he come and stay for a night in the place I have booked (at no extra cost to anyone) as he will be in the area with work anyway. I have no issue with this, be nice for DC to see him, he can sleep in room with DC, it's a wooden lodge resort type thing, we will spend a day together then he will go.
Bit worried on how to tell my BF this last minute plan? Ex and I have always co parented well and have been separated 2.5yrs now. Am always complimented on our co parenting relationship. We hand over at nursery so don't really see eachother or are in eachothers pockets, communication is only about DC. Split when DC was too young to remember. He is 3 now.
If you were my BF would you be upset?

OP posts:
KillerSandy · 19/04/2023 21:39

Dandelionsinthegarden · 19/04/2023 20:30

Wow some of these replies!

  1. BF not here as he could not get the time off work nor afford it.
  2. One overnight in 2.5 years is hardly blurring boundaries. DC doesn't remember us even being together and isn't of an age to wish we got back together even.
  3. I very very occasionally pop in, we are not in eachothers pockets and do not see eachother unless there is a change to our care plan and we need to hand over in person rather than via nursery.
  4. Holiday is over 4 hrs from the area in which we live and ex travels with work, if he was driving back to his same day straight after the meeting he would be back at a reasonable hour but it makes no sense to spend the day with me and DC then get home at silly o clock. It would be a place to lie his head then set off in the morning.

My parents were at eachothers throats when I was young and cannot see eachother even now over 25yrs later without arguing it is pathetic and not what I want for my DC. Ex and I are not friends, but we get on for the sake of DC. Never in 2.5 years has there ever been an overnight stay, and we have had 2 days out with DC together for his birthday. Also believe it or not I have enough self restraint to not jump into bed with him (we barely had sex whilst together let alone now!).

I told BF and his reaction was a thumbs up, no drama. He knows ex and I were done long before he and I met.

Thanks for the replies

So if you had asked him first then no need for this thread 🙄

Feelinglow27 · 20/04/2023 09:20

I'm so glad your partner has shown the maturity to be ok with this. Well done OP and also congratulations on having such a good co-parenting relationship. I hope you and your kid have a fab holiday x

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