DH and I were having a discussion and I was giving my view on something (not something he did, but someone in his family) and he started raising his voice and said to stop having a go at him, I calmly told him that I wasn’t and that I was just talking to him, but he went on a rant and stormed off. (For context, we had been having another discussion prior to this and were just chatting normally).
I went and sat next to him and tried to calmly talk to him, explaining that I wasn’t happy with how he had just blown up, but he just carried on at me.
I told him he was out of order still going on like that when I was trying to talk to him in a calm and respectful way, but he wouldn’t back down and hear me out, he just kept saying that I don’t see what I am doing wrong and it’s me who’s the problem.
He then said this is why he doesn’t tell me things because I just overreact and question him. This really angered me because there’s been a lot of issues over his lack of communication (from small things to very significant things).
Is this right, that it’s actually my fault because I make it hard for him to talk to me because of my “overreactions” (his words)?
I do have a tendency to question things if they don’t stack up, or if I’ve not quite got the full picture to understand a situation, which can often lead to him getting defensive.
Am I doing something wrong without realising it, and if so, how do I change that?