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Original poster

Would you start a relationship with someone who ticks all your boxes but...

81 replies

rockabyebaby99 · 14/04/2023 19:50

...wants to wait until marriage for sex?

OP posts:
dudsville · 14/04/2023 20:42

And i would also be worried about what he thought marriage was, it isn't a trap. You can still leave. But he might be thinking differently about that.

lunar1 · 14/04/2023 20:42

Crap sex would be a massive cross in a box!

Softsoftsleep · 14/04/2023 20:43

Answering as a Christian here. If this is for religious reasons, its not going to work unless both people believe the same thing and are united in their decision to wait until marriage. It should be a journey between the engaged couple that they both willingly enter into.

If one person's faith is so important to them that they want to wait, and the other is seemingly ambivalent about doing so (which indicates a lack of the same religious conviction) then marriage already seems like a bad idea.

The sex issue is really just a symptom of two very opposing philosophies. People who marry others with drastically different religious/spiritual beliefs, do so at their peril and need to proceed very, very cautiously. Im presuming this post is about religious beliefs, but I could be wrong 🤷

tanstaafl · 14/04/2023 20:54

Reverse OP?

doozledog · 14/04/2023 20:55

No, its weird this day and age religious or not

Kittytitt · 14/04/2023 21:32

I married mine. I'm not religious and had lived with BFs before. He had faith, and wanted to wait for that reason, we were both 26. Big risk, but married 23 yrs this year, sex is absolutely fantastic, no horrible pre conceived porn ideas that previous BFs had. Would do it again, he is the only one for me but I recognise we are very unusual and I hope my kids don't follow my example, but I hope they find someone as wonderful to have as a partner. He still has faith, I have none.

KohlaParasaurus · 14/04/2023 21:37

I did when I was in my teens. I wasted a couple of my best years on him then he announced that he couldn't marry me because I wasn't a Catholic. Looking on the bright side, he'd have been a high maintenance husband and an unreliable father and he may have saved me from a lot of risky teenage sex with unsuitable boys. As an adult, there's no way I'd have taken the risk of discovering too late that I'd married someone with whom I wasn't sexually compatible.

Violet90 · 14/04/2023 21:54

No, absolutely not!

pinkyredrose · 14/04/2023 22:06

MyBloodyMaryneedsmoreTabasco · 14/04/2023 19:55

No chance. If they are a crap shag you are stuck with that forever.

My thoughts precisely!

willieversleep · 14/04/2023 22:21

I did

Runaround50 · 14/04/2023 22:23

Hell no!!

gerbilcrocus · 14/04/2023 23:35

Mmndanone · 14/04/2023 20:38

I can’t see how if someone is right for you in every way, and you like them enough to want to marry them… how could you be sexually incompatible? Especially if you are both virgins. You would learn what you like and don’t like together surely?

You're being very naive...

AfterSchoolWorry · 14/04/2023 23:38

SophiaSW1 · 14/04/2023 20:38

I'd assume they were into guys

Same.

No way ✋🏻

PickleOfAConundrum · 14/04/2023 23:44

Feck no way! What if I got married & the sex was pathetic? What if my husband couldn't get it up? What if he's not well endowed? So many questions would be running through my head to forbid me from getting married without trying out the goods first & then decide on getting married 😂.

AnnieSnap · 14/04/2023 23:46

No, but then that would be one of my boxes!

MaJolie · 14/04/2023 23:47

Mmndanone · 14/04/2023 20:38

I can’t see how if someone is right for you in every way, and you like them enough to want to marry them… how could you be sexually incompatible? Especially if you are both virgins. You would learn what you like and don’t like together surely?

That is incredibly naive!

SorePaw · 14/04/2023 23:51

rockabyebaby99 · 14/04/2023 19:50

...wants to wait until marriage for sex?

that's difficult to yes/no because he wouldn't have ticked all my boxes!

but ' 'NO' I wouldn't want to date someone who wants to wait until
marriage to have sex.

im sorry if you're the one who intends to wait & are struggling to find people willing to wait. But I'd want to have a sexual attraction that wouldn't be happy to be put on hold for a couple of years. I'd also want to know we were compatible in bed (& out if it!!)

RememberNancyDrew · 14/04/2023 23:55

Oh hell no.

NBLarsen · 14/04/2023 23:59

SophiaSW1 · 14/04/2023 20:38

I'd assume they were into guys

Seriously? So if it's a woman who wants to wait would you assume she is into girls?

NBLarsen · 15/04/2023 00:04

I wouldn't not start a relationship with someone because they wanted to wait until marriage to have a sexual relationship. But as part of building the relationship I would want to check my values aligned carefully.
I would presume the reason is due to a religion, and I don't follow any religion, so that would be more of a deal-breaker for me than the lack of sexual relations.
I think a relationship can work if both parties are on board with waiting until marriage.
If it's right for you then keep your standards.

IHateLegDay · 15/04/2023 00:07

Not at all.
You could wait, get married and the sex could be shit but then you're stuck.

JanglyBeads · 15/04/2023 00:15

The number of people on here sounding like no marriage following pre marital sex ever runs into sexual problems.....

vdbfamily · 15/04/2023 00:17

I would not have married someone who wanted sex before a lifetime commitment.
Believe me, we knew we were sexuallly compatible without actually having sex. As someone said previously, if you are both virgins you actually both work on finding out what each other like with no pre conceived ideas from previous relationships.
Worked for me, 21 years in and never regretted it for a minute.
However, I would want to know his reasons and check they aligned with mine.

CallieQ · 15/04/2023 01:08

rockabyebaby99 · 14/04/2023 19:50

...wants to wait until marriage for sex?

😳

Myotherusernamewastakenagain · 15/04/2023 01:16

Big box = small cock