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Original poster

Would you start a relationship with someone who ticks all your boxes but...

81 replies

rockabyebaby99 · 14/04/2023 19:50

...wants to wait until marriage for sex?

OP posts:
samantha0709 · 14/04/2023 20:13

That's an easy no.

GreenwichOrTwicks · 14/04/2023 20:14

Noooooooooooooooo.....

beastlyslumber · 14/04/2023 20:18

Maybe. Are we talking zero sexual contact, or just not going all the way? If there was kissing, touching etc and you fancy each other and have chemistry, then I don't see it necessarily as a problem.

loislovesstewie · 14/04/2023 20:19

No!!!! BTW I'm 67,there is no way on earth that I would have waited for marriage. Being incompatible sexually has to be one of the most miserable ways to live.

Whichwitchhasanitch · 14/04/2023 20:20

Absolutely no!
Sex is one of the things that needs tested quite early on.
They could be a total prude or be into weird stuff.
Then you’re stuck with them !

HarpendenHarpendenHarpenden · 14/04/2023 20:23

Not a chance in hell I'd be alright with that. Used model all the way, please.

determinedtomakethiswork · 14/04/2023 20:24

So is the person wanting this a virgin? Is the other person a virgin? I can see an incompatibility immediately there.

donquixotedelamancha · 14/04/2023 20:26

How would you know he ticks your box until he...ticks your box?

AllOfThemWitches · 14/04/2023 20:26

No I'd be sexually frustrated as hell if we had amazing chemistry.

Throughalookingglass · 14/04/2023 20:26

It would be a no for me too. I think at that age, it must be for religious reasons which would worry me. I'd also be very worried they might be interested in things I'm not into e.g. rough sex/anal etc.

GlassBunion · 14/04/2023 20:27

Why do they want to wait?

Luredbyapomegranate · 14/04/2023 20:28

No, because they wouldn’t tick my boxes. (Which sounds slightly innuendo like now..)

LeavesOnTrees · 14/04/2023 20:29

No, you need to try before you buy.

Did you not watch sex and the city when Charlotte married Trey ?

lazarusb · 14/04/2023 20:30

The best piece of advice I have ever had (from my dad) was never to make a long term commitment to anyone that you aren't happy in bed with. It's really important and I definitely would never have waited for marriage.

24KaratCucumber · 14/04/2023 20:32

No.

Incompatibility in the bedroom will kill a relationship pretty quick.

WoofWoofBeachLife · 14/04/2023 20:32

rockabyebaby99 · 14/04/2023 19:50

...wants to wait until marriage for sex?

When is the wedding? It is unusual now but not unheard of. I married someone I wasn't sexually compatible with, nightmare, I stayed too long and wasted so much time. I agree sexual compatibility and chemistry is very very important.

OhMyCherriePie · 14/04/2023 20:33

No

YouTarzan · 14/04/2023 20:34

Nope

LauderSyme · 14/04/2023 20:36

No way. But then I've never thought of relationships as a box-ticking exercise.

AliMonkey · 14/04/2023 20:36

Well if they tick all the boxes presumably one of the boxes isn't "must want to have sex before we are married" whereas if that's one of the must-haves then clearly not. If sex is really important to one half of the couple then they're probably not compatible, but if it's relative low down their list then perfectly reasonable in my view. Key is whether the people involved are happy with that, not what anyone else thinks.

It's not always a religious thing - any sex involves possibility of conception so if you only want children within a marriage and don't agree with abortions then that's a good reason to wait until marriage.

Mmndanone · 14/04/2023 20:38

I can’t see how if someone is right for you in every way, and you like them enough to want to marry them… how could you be sexually incompatible? Especially if you are both virgins. You would learn what you like and don’t like together surely?

SophiaSW1 · 14/04/2023 20:38

I'd assume they were into guys

Cakencookieobsessed · 14/04/2023 20:40

No and I wouldn't, and I'd worry that someone wanting to wait until then isn't a very sexual person and sex isn't important to them. And that after the marriage there wouldn't be a lot of sex or it would be of poor quality. I think it's important to find out sexual compatibility before you commit.

dudsville · 14/04/2023 20:41

I'd be worried about what he wasn't telling me about what he likes sexually!