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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband posted a photo with his girlfriend

57 replies

Laz1 · 07/04/2023 21:43

Not too sure how to feel about my husband (separated) posting a public picture with his girlfriend on social media, a few hours after seeing DC for the first time in months. We've not started divorce proceedings as frankly I was hoping we'd get back together because of DC, however, I am not sure what his reasoning is.

I'm not jealous as such but I wasn't expecting he'd do something like this. He stopped posting our pictures on SM after our first year of marriage..

OP posts:
Sittwritt · 07/04/2023 21:56

Oh he sounds like a bit of a waste of space. Was he a narc? Could it be triangulation of trying to make you jealous so you might want him again. In any case this one’s not a keeper. Very public and downright needing to rub salt into the wounds. I’d let him go get on with his crappy life. Not seeing his kids but carrying on with a romantic life? Sounds very low empathy.

Laurdo · 07/04/2023 22:05

Terrible idea to stay in a relationship for the kids. Why would you want to get back with someone happy to go months not seeing his kids?

Block his SM and let him carry on however he likes. Not your problem any more so don't give him any headspace.

category12 · 07/04/2023 22:12

Probably making a point, either for the girlfriend 's benefit or for you.

I'd start your divorce - he's with someone else, your relationship is over.

Original poster
Laz1 · 07/04/2023 22:12

The separation was his call. I don't quite understand his intention with the photo. He is not the type of person to post on SM. The last time he did was about a year ago. I have made an application to child maintenance last month and he wasn't best pleased, so maybe there is some sort of correlation...I don't know.

I agree. He is a waste of space and I shouldn't be checking his SM, nor giving him any headspace.

OP posts:
tryandfindmenow · 07/04/2023 22:15

I suspect this is to get a rise out of you.. ignore. You are well rid!

VariantHela · 07/04/2023 22:15

Time to start those divorce proceedings

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 07/04/2023 22:17

How long have you been separated?

Aquamarine1029 · 07/04/2023 22:17

You'd be wise to get divorced as soon as possible.

Changingplace · 07/04/2023 22:17

Block him on all social media, start those divorce proceedings and get that maintenance from him.

Head up, stay strong, you don’t need him anymore.

MinnieEgg · 07/04/2023 22:20

He probably hasn't got an intention.

Original poster
Laz1 · 07/04/2023 22:22

Yes - I absolutely do need to divorce him!

We've been separated for over a year. I suspect he's been with this woman for a while as the photo was taken in the summer.

He is not happy with the amount he has to pay for CM and has been going back and forth with them to try and change it..

OP posts:
Original poster
Laz1 · 07/04/2023 22:23

Thank you all for your replies🤗

OP posts:
HelloNetMums · 07/04/2023 22:24

Not nice to see your H with someone else but if you're separated it's none of your business what he posts.

user1496262496 · 07/04/2023 22:24

Stop following him on social media! Block him. Nothing good will ever come of seeing his life

Newjobformoremoney · 07/04/2023 22:25

Oh OP. Over a year!
Block him on social media. Start divorce proceedings and don’t engage on child maintenance.
It really doesn’t matter how long he’s been seeing her, it’s over and time to move on.
You’re so much better off without him.

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 07/04/2023 22:28

Possibly tricky to hear… but if you’ve been separated for over a year, it’s ok for him to post a photo of his new girlfriend. Maybe there isn’t an agenda? Again, with kindness - maybe he’s changed and likes posting photos of her? Doesn’t make her / their relationship better (or worse) than that you had with him. Just different.

All said in kindness - I’ve had to witness a new relationship in front of my eyes - try not to read into what you don’t know. That way madness can lie.

<unmumsnettyhugs>

Original poster
Laz1 · 07/04/2023 22:30

You're all right. I haven't really been thinking about him. It's just today, when he saw the kids, I thought I'd check his social media. Otherwise, I have his number deleted and he's blocked on almost everything apart from one platform.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 07/04/2023 22:35

Always assume its done for a reaction always ignore it mute him then at a later date block him so he can't say your jealous etc my ex used to accidentally change his WhatsApp picture to his girlfriend then text me to apologise (because he "accidentally" sent out a notification saying he had updated his status) he didn't want to "hurt my feelings" I wouldn't respond

Original poster
Laz1 · 07/04/2023 22:38

It's wrong of me to want to get back with him just for the kids. I would've been 100% been sacrificing my happiness and peace. I definitely do not like him nor love and haven't done so for a while before we separated. I didn't want to divorce in fear of my kids later blaming me for not waiting a little longer and giving 'our' family a chance. My family and his also influenced this decision.

OP posts:
Madamecastafiore · 07/04/2023 22:41

You should like the photo. That will unnerve him.

BigFatLiar · 07/04/2023 22:51

You don't like him. You've been separated for over a year. Why would he need a reason? Perhaps he's moving on, early stages of a new relationship, posts on SM. Maybe it'll lady, maybe it won't, not your problem. Focusbon your own future.

Original poster
Laz1 · 07/04/2023 22:57

He has every right to move on and I haven't stopped him. It's just a bit hurtful to see when he has been neglecting his kids and only visiting them occasionally.

OP posts:
moomoomoo27 · 07/04/2023 23:07

You haven't been thinking of him, you didn't love him even before you separated, and you've been separated for a year but you thought you'd get back together? 🤔

Original poster
Laz1 · 07/04/2023 23:09

Yes - a sacrifice for my children.

OP posts:
Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 07/04/2023 23:09

Madamecastafiore · 07/04/2023 22:41

You should like the photo. That will unnerve him.

Best response 😂