Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Fuck online dating

53 replies

swearinggran · 06/04/2023 22:39

Has anyone else reached the point where they are no longer interested in dating? I mean in theory a relationship would be nice but at the grand old age of 41 i really can't be arsed with the modern dating culture. It's a shit show and i have decided I'd rather gauge my eyes out than do online 'dating'. Online dating, What a load of fucking old shit lol

OP posts:
Sittwritt · 06/04/2023 23:06

Think of ways you can meet people, work, gym, classes, and treat online as one of them only.

AngelinaT · 06/04/2023 23:07

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

foxlover47 · 06/04/2023 23:12

Totally with you on this

fedupwiththeguy · 06/04/2023 23:17

Yes. Just turned 40 and can't be arsed with online dating. I have retaken a hobby and I have more success meeting people that way. However, I also got the impression that men seem to also just be looking for hookups in real life. May be covid made us all feel lonely and we are longing for connection. Maybe the offline and online men are all the same and therefore crappy. Or maybe I should get a hobby where people is not drinking.

Original poster
swearinggran · 06/04/2023 23:22

@foxlover47 Online dating has made me incredibly bitter and angry. When it was niche it was an alternative way of meeting people but now its full of weirdos and socially inept fuck wits.

OP posts:
Allmyghosts · 06/04/2023 23:35

Yup, even if you are a typical swishy mumsnet type, doesn't insulate from loons. Seems to have gotten even worse than when I had hope.

Original poster
swearinggran · 06/04/2023 23:38

@Allmyghosts I suppose online dating reflects our shit society! Lets face it there aren't many nice genuine people about. Mostly fake people full of bullshit.

OP posts:
Allmyghosts · 06/04/2023 23:39

I'm very much not a swishy mn type BTW. Just seems like few people are interested in things (other than themselves) and few can even have a conversation.

GremlinDolphin4 · 06/04/2023 23:46

Totally with you, I can’t even manage the online messaging bit! It seems so hard to get men to have a conversation. I’ve had two matches tonight but the messaging has been like pulling teeth and not at all interesting. I’ve had one great conversation but that was before Xmas and then he disappeared on me. It’s rubbish. Xxx

Allmyghosts · 06/04/2023 23:54

Even if you have great conversations it usually turns out they were pretending for funsies. The last two relationships I had, were basically obtained by deception on their behalfs. Was all mirroring, no wonder I stopped.

AnyaMarx · 06/04/2023 23:59

I'm with you op and I'm 10 years older ! I've given up . Sleazy men with sleazy agendas .
I'm sticking with my dogs , my mates , and my night classes !

Netcam · 07/04/2023 00:12

I met my DH through online dating at the age of 42, I had 2 young kids, we were both recently separated. He was the love of my life and still is, 11 years later. I think I was lucky.

creaamontop · 07/04/2023 01:38

Aw, I met my now bf of 8 months on Match. I'd only been on it a fortnight and he was my first date after divorce. It's just luck at the time really, if he wasn't on there at that time I'd probably still be dredging through creeps and idiots. You never know the minute, it's all about luck and timing. Good luck!

Purplecatshopaholic · 07/04/2023 04:30

When I got divorced I was happily single. Met my partner by chance through friends or I would still be happily single. OLD continually sounds like a shit show parade of weirdos - no thanks.

Sittwritt · 07/04/2023 07:06

I also think you have to be in a positive frame of mind for this kind of thing. As in fully happy in yourself as it does come across. Confidence does attract confidence even in a dark room.

Sittwritt · 07/04/2023 07:06

Know what you want

Hellenabe · 07/04/2023 10:44

Op, I've met some nice blokes via online dating but all with their own issues. I think a lot of women do the work on themselves before dating whereas men jump straight in because they don't want/can't be alone.

I've been single almost a year now and can't see myself going back to it unless genuinely taking with a pinch of salt. Life is too busy without taking on yet another person's issues whilst inadvertently causing me to feel shit about myself when it falls apart.

iloveeastereggsnow · 07/04/2023 11:12

I'm in my 50s and I am having a break from online dating. I might give it a go later on in the year.

Goatbilly · 07/04/2023 13:06

Many people in real life or OLD compromise by accepting what they can get in order not to be alone. It's always been like that. I really don't believe that all of these relationships around me are "thriving"; people settle as they are fed up of being lonely, lack of other genuine support networks so it seems the quickest way to obtain intimacy is to get into a romantic relationship. Anecdotal story, a colleague who isn't even separated yet (after a 15 year marriage) is already on the dating apps, just can't fathom being single!

My experience of OLD has been mainly men looking for hook ups under the pretence of wanting a relationship; they're not stupid, they know to be brutally honest wouldn't get them anywhere so they lie/omit/ mirror your intentions in order to get what they want out of the interaction, as a poster mentioned above. Maybe when you're young, and have no life experience feelings are more genuine?

foxlover47 · 07/04/2023 21:21

@swearinggran absolutely ! To me the men I conversed with seemed to act like they were doing the world a huge favour by being there and they literally all "had just joined "

JMSA · 07/04/2023 22:04

Hellenabe · 07/04/2023 10:44

Op, I've met some nice blokes via online dating but all with their own issues. I think a lot of women do the work on themselves before dating whereas men jump straight in because they don't want/can't be alone.

I've been single almost a year now and can't see myself going back to it unless genuinely taking with a pinch of salt. Life is too busy without taking on yet another person's issues whilst inadvertently causing me to feel shit about myself when it falls apart.

Your first paragraph is bang on 👍

Dontsayyouloveme · 07/04/2023 22:34

I have been on OLD on and off over last four years! I effing despise it now 🤬, I’m so over it. I’d rather stay single than put myself through another second of OLD.

Itsonlyagame · 07/04/2023 22:52

I'm 43, recently became a single parent. I feel exactly the same. Just can't be arsed with the absolute cesspit that is online dating.

Aweebitpainful · 07/04/2023 22:56

Not long separated. No intention of ever going there. Hate the idea of it. It wasn't even a thing when I was last single!

Ohthebanality · 07/04/2023 23:03

Yes agree with this so much, my birthday soon and nearer 50 than 40 now, but glad to be getting older and not having pressure to meet anyone or go on dates. It's such a relief to have given up.

Swipe left for the next trending thread