Would you date a man 10 years younger

[shoega]

I'm in my late thirties and met a guy in his late twenties who wants to date me. In our case, it's a good a time 10 year gap between us. Any advice on the pros and cons of relationships with an age gap will be appreciated.

[LarryStylinson]

Harry Styles, yes. Otherwise no, too big a gap.

[MaximumPleasure]

I don't generally like a relationship with younger men as they tend to be so immature. I dated a year younger and didn't like it, felt self conscious all the time however I would have sex or casual relation with a younger man. I don't see it wrong if a woman is with an adult man younger than her of 10 years but I draw the line where if you could be his mother's age as that's gross in my book so no gaps of 15+ years for either sexes as it seems unnatural to me.

[coffeemoon]

I would in principle... but a guy in his 20's is unlikely to be mature enough for me. So I would have to wait until I was quite a bit older than I am now for it to work for me.

[MarchingBand]

Yes. My DH is 8 years younger, I met him when he was 27.

[TrishM80]

No. An older woman/younger man couple always looks ridiculous.

[Kimberz]

My Mum is 9/10 years older than my step dad. They have been together nearly 25 years. Really depends on the people and how combatable they are.

[MrsMontyD]

It wouldn't be for me, DP is ten years older than me and I definitely like being the younger one.

I could have dated younger men before DP but didn't, my overriding impression was that most were looking for an older woman with her own house, income and her life together so they could tag along.

[Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious]

@TrishM80

No. An older woman/younger man couple always looks ridiculous.

What about an older man / younger woman? Or is it just against women dating younger?

[Simonjt]

No, I’m 35 and 25 feels too young, when me and my husband met I was 31 and he was 26 and I was worried that made him too young. If I was older, 40+ then I think ten years younger would be okay.

[SallyWD]

@TrishM80

No. An older woman/younger man couple always looks ridiculous.

I didn't realise me and DH look ridiculous. Thanks for that.

[TrishM80]

@Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious

What about an older man / younger woman? Or is it just against women dating younger?

The older man/younger woman dynamic isn't as ridiculous, no.

For example, a 45 y/o man with 30 y/o woman is socially acceptable, although I do grant that an age gap beyond that starts becoming a bit weird.

But a 45 y/o woman with a 30 y/o man? Even if she was 40, hell 36 or 37, it just doesn't look right! Can't really explain it, it's probably an evolutionary thing to do with women's fertility. From an evolutionary point of view, a 30 y/o man should be seeking out a woman the same age or younger with which to produce offspring, not a woman nearing or at the end of her fertile years. And even if neither party wants children, evolution has dictated that the age gap still looks odd.

But hey, if people want to do it, crack on! I'd compare it to seeing a balding middle aged man still rocking a ponytail. If it makes them happy, more power to them! But I'm still gonna think it looks ridiculous!

[hopsalong]

I'd love to! Go for it!

Until I was about 35 I tended to fancy men who were older than I was. Now I only fancy younger ones. Over 40 men only go downhill sexually.

[ladygindiva]

I dated a man for a couple years who was 8 years younger than me, he was 27 I was 35 when we began. I ended up finding him immature but I think that was his personality rather than his age. Interestingly the age gap drew a fair few comments whereas the age gap with my previous boyfriend who was 8 years older drew no comments at all.

[ladygindiva]

@TrishM80

The older man/younger woman dynamic isn't as ridiculous, no.

For example, a 45 y/o man with 30 y/o woman is socially acceptable, although I do grant that an age gap beyond that starts becoming a bit weird.

But a 45 y/o woman with a 30 y/o man? Even if she was 40, hell 36 or 37, it just doesn't look right! Can't really explain it, it's probably an evolutionary thing to do with women's fertility. From an evolutionary point of view, a 30 y/o man should be seeking out a woman the same age or younger with which to produce offspring, not a woman nearing or at the end of her fertile years. And even if neither party wants children, evolution has dictated that the age gap still looks odd.

But hey, if people want to do it, crack on! I'd compare it to seeing a balding middle aged man still rocking a ponytail. If it makes them happy, more power to them! But I'm still gonna think it looks ridiculous!

Depressing internalised misogyny

[Chinchinchoroo]

I did, with a man 14 years younger when I was 40. It didn't go well. Our life experiences/stages and cultural references were very different. It ended really quite horribly with him becoming very abusive and threatening and using my age as a way to abuse me.
It probably wouldn't end like that for you and I think relationships with that age gap can work and be healthy but there are lots of things to consider.

[Tulip2478]

@TrishM80
You were on another post berating a woman because she wouldn't forgive a man who lied about his age (he was older than he said), but you think this situation would look odd. You also made the predictable line of every woman wanting a man over six foot. I'm guessing you are a male poster.
There's nothing wrong with an older woman/younger man.

[Notanothernewname]

Depends on the person. Some people my age are still so immature, and yet I know 33 year olds (12 years younger than me) that have their own house, good job, same outlook etc. My ex is one of those who still think he's 25 and he's 38.

[ladygindiva]

@Tulip2478

@TrishM80
You were on another post berating a woman because she wouldn't forgive a man who lied about his age (he was older than he said), but you think this situation would look odd. You also made the predictable line of every woman wanting a man over six foot. I'm guessing you are a male poster.
There's nothing wrong with an older woman/younger man.

Interesting! I agree. Probably male. Fwiw I prefer men under 6ft as I'm short and don't like a huge height difference.

[mountainmother]

I'm in a relationship with a man 19 years younger. Have been for 10 years. No issues. I'm 60. We laugh alot.

[WhatTheHeckyPeck]

I met DP when I was 36 and he was 27...we've been together for 21 years now.

[Maggiesgirl]

Yes, and did. Been married over 20 odd years now. He ws 28 I was 38.

[blebbleb]

Maybe for a fling but not long term. If he wants kids in a few years that could be a problem.

[summerfinn]

No I wouldn't. I'm 36 and a 26 year old would have nothing to offer me. They wouldn't be financially secure. I have sons and I can see clearly how less mature they are compared to girls of similar age so I would imagine a man if 26 to be very immature. Also they would probably still be interested in going out to nightclubs ect which I have zero interest in anymore. Been there done that. I have my two kids they would probably want kids of their own. I don't want anymore. I prefer older men anyways. My DP is 9 years older than me.

[QueenBee1234]

I wouldn't, dh is almost 16 years older than me though!
I do think you can't always tell just going off looks when the man is the older one in the couple (I am talking about average people now, not those with access to surgery and endless botox/treatments!) but you can tell when the woman is the oldest in the couple.
I am 39 and would feel silly with a 29 year old man but that is just me! My friend has been happily married to her husband (who is younger than her by 10 years) for ages, they are very loved up so it obviously works for them.

[perfectcolourfound]

Age is mostly a number.

Yes, if there's an age gap there's an increased chance of other differences (different experiences of growing up, reference points from your past, different views on having children and when, different levels of maturity, more issues when one becomes 'old' / retired) but it doesn't necessarily mean it won't work.

If you meet someone who's 10 years different in age but get on brilliantly and have the same views on important stuff like having children, then what's the problem?

I don't agree with or understand the views of the poster who said it's OK for men to date younger but not women (sexist, much? and no logic). I have female friends with younger husbands but not the other way around so much.

It's like the tall v short arguement - sometimes on here people argue as though it's a fact rather than an opinion. I prefer mid-height men and actively find tall off-putting. That's just me. We don't all want tall men who are older than us. Tall doesn't = more attractive. Older doesn't = better matched.