Did you have children with someone you loved?

[bowlofsmarties]

Interested to know. I'm late 20s and been with a guy for 2 months, he's hot, handsome, sweet but I'm not in love with him yet. I really really like him. He's brought up marriage and having children at some point. I want to have kids sooner rather than later. Should I wait until I'm in love?

This is quite a mad post. Yes, you should wait to have children. Wait till you grow up a lot more.

In 2 months he's brought that up? Personally I'd run! 2 months is honeymoon phase and getting to know each other, not planning kids and marriage.

You should wait longer than 2 months for fucksake

Er…wtf? Yes of course you should wait and have children with someone you love.

What does 'sooner rather than later' mean to you? Before you're 40 / 35 / 33? : pleanty of time to find out whether you love each other, whether you values and approaches are compatible.

Before you're thirty / before summer 2024: no chance of this working out well.

Do you mean he's brought them up in general terms as in 'I'd like to get married and have (say) 2 kids eventually' or he's saying he wants these with you specifically?

Either way, you're 2 months in. Cool your beans.

Please do not have a child with anyone you are not 100% in love and committed to and think would make a fantastic parent.

Sincerely your future child(ren)

Woah! What a strange question. Of course!

If you were 40 and really wanted a child and hadn't met the 'right' man then the advice might be different, ie consider going it alone as time is running out.

But you're late 20s for goodness' sake. What's the rush? You've only been dating this man 2 months. There's a very decent chance you won't be together in another 2 months, or a year from now.

If he is love-bombing you or putting ANY pressure on you to seriously consider a commitment or children at this stage, run as fast as you can away from him.