My DP is saying that unless I borrow quite a substantial sum of money he will not move.
I do not want to borrow this and have said stay where you are then I will move on my own with teen D child.
Problem is we have different values, he is materialistic and so am not.
The problem is I am in a new job and haven't passed my probation period and it seems like the company likes to extend it and keep you feeling insecure. I haven't had a good start. The people there aren't very nice either.
I want to make the move, but I have horrible mental health issues and a disability and I just feel like I won't survive in my own. I have no one else in the world accept for my DP, DC and 1 good friend.
I feel in such a dark place and have constant anxiety and horrible thoughts.
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Relationships
Basically being blackmailed
strawberrytarties · 19/03/2023 09:40
Shinyandnew1 · 19/03/2023 10:09
Hmmm, I think your life would be immeasurably better without him in it.
Cocobutt · 19/03/2023 11:27
He said if I don't do what he wants, I can just move on my own with our child.
Sounds like a great idea!
It sounds like you are very dependent on your DP which is a massive red flag and very concerning.
I wouldn’t be surprised if DH likes it this way which is why he is blackmailing you, knowing that you think you can’t cope without him.
Do you work OP?
You need to find a way to build up your self confidence.
You are more than capable of being by yourself and you do not need DP in your life.
I would be letting him know this and actually telling him that if he doesn’t want to move with you then that’s his decision but you’ll still be going - I bet he’s not used to you sticking up for yourself.
2bazookas · 19/03/2023 11:41
As you're on probation in a new job that sounds very insecure, I'm puzzled how you would even be in a position to apply for a larger mortgage.
Ofcourseshecan · 19/03/2023 12:08
You’ve answered your own question, OP. You would be insane to borrow money to give him the home he wants. You would soon be struggling with debt on top of your other problems. He is using you and he relies on your unhappiness to keep you tied to him. For DC’s sake as well as your own, get him out of your life.
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