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Original poster

Husband called me an ironing board

54 replies

Fedup6 · 19/03/2023 01:12

Me and my husband had an argument this morning and I said to him " he talks in a very ugly manner". He turned around and started making hurtful comments about my body calling me an ironing board. I've never heard the term before but he said I have small breasts and no bum.

I can't believe how childish he is to say such hurtful stuff to me. I've not spoken to him since, I'm currently in the spare room. I can't believe I married such a pr**k.

I don't know what I am expecting from posting on here. I feel I need to talk about how I feel, I just feel embarrassed to tell my friend what he said so wanted to talk about it on here.

OP posts:
platanenweg · 19/03/2023 01:14

What a horrible bastard. What's he like in general? Do you have children together?

Original poster
Fedup6 · 19/03/2023 01:16

In general he is a nice person, he has ADHD. We have one child and he is an amazing father, today I just don't know what's happened.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fedup6 · 19/03/2023 01:17

He's never made a comment like this before, I can't believe it. I am so hurt.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 19/03/2023 01:20

I suspect it's not the first time he's been mean.

theinbetweener · 19/03/2023 01:20

You'll almost certainly be encouraged to LTB by posting on here on a Saturday night, just a heads up.
But as you've said- this seems to have been an unusual thing for him to have done and you're wondering what happened tonight as you aren't sure. Really the best thing to do would be get some sleep (both you and him) and talk about it once you've both had some rest. Find out why he thought it ok to say it, tell him how you felt on hearing it and go from there.
If you try and resolve it at the moment you'll both get angry all over again so bed then deal in the morning.

uhtredbebbanburg · 19/03/2023 01:21

I’m sorry OP. That’s shit. My DD has ADHD and I bring her up telling her having ADHD is no excuse for being an asshole. Maybe no one has told him this before? If you want to stay with him you need to tell him it’s unacceptable.

Whenharrymetsmelly · 19/03/2023 01:23

He's a rude asshole. What does ADHD have to do with anything. Tell him he has a small dick and see how he feels. Sorry OP, hope you're OK

platanenweg · 19/03/2023 01:25

Fedup6 · 19/03/2023 01:16

In general he is a nice person, he has ADHD. We have one child and he is an amazing father, today I just don't know what's happened.

I have ADHD but it doesn't make me say vicious hurtful things in arguments.

If he treats you both well normally then perhaps it can be resolved with a genuine apology but you did say OP that he talks to you in an ugly manner - do you have some examples other than the ironing board comment?

Original poster
Fedup6 · 19/03/2023 01:27

Today the argument was about me saying he doesn't help out around the house. He started saying he does and was huffing around the house moaning and then he started swearing. That's when I said he talks in an ugly manner.

OP posts:
platanenweg · 19/03/2023 01:33

Does he help around the house? I would keep a record of any events like this and just see how things go. I hope a genuine apology is coming your way in the morning.

WidthofaLine · 19/03/2023 02:09

Yes these comments stay with you.

So are you going to be having sex with someone who thinks that about you., tell it's a no go now as sex just won't be as good.

Time to tell him he's got the smallest cock you've had anyway, onwards and upwards.

Enjoy your new sex life.

Deathraystare · 19/03/2023 15:43

@Fedup6
Today the argument was about me saying he doesn't help out around the house. He started saying he does and was huffing around the house moaning and then he started swearing.

Well tell him at least an ironing board has it's uses!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/03/2023 15:46

In general he is a nice person

Doesn't sound like it. Doesn't do any housework (it's not 'helping you out', it's doing his share) then makes personal, hurtful comments. I'm guessing you do 99% of childcare too.

I'd be consulting with a solicitor. You don't need a wanker like this in your life.

KTSl1964 · 19/03/2023 15:48

He’s shutting you up -=don’t you dare ask him to do anything in the house. Is he that amazing really?

MyriadOfTravels · 19/03/2023 16:21

Today the argument was about me saying he doesn't help out around the house. He started saying he does and was huffing around the house moaning and then he started swearing.

Thats nit the behaviour of a nice husband and father though….

And as for the insult, it was a deliberate attack to hurt you for daring asking to behave like an adult and set up to his responsibilities.
it’s not childish. It’s hurtful and disrespectful towards you too.

How has he been today? Has he apologised or is he giving you the cold shoulder?

Moser85 · 19/03/2023 16:25

theinbetweener · 19/03/2023 01:20

You'll almost certainly be encouraged to LTB by posting on here on a Saturday night, just a heads up.
But as you've said- this seems to have been an unusual thing for him to have done and you're wondering what happened tonight as you aren't sure. Really the best thing to do would be get some sleep (both you and him) and talk about it once you've both had some rest. Find out why he thought it ok to say it, tell him how you felt on hearing it and go from there.
If you try and resolve it at the moment you'll both get angry all over again so bed then deal in the morning.

The reason for that, is because those comments tend to have long lasting and far reaching consequences.

They knock a persons confidence, they tend to affect their sex life and also their relationship because it's such an awful thing for someone to say and awful thing for them to do.

As other posters have said, imagine she said he had a small dick.

EarthSight · 19/03/2023 17:27

The ADHD thing is a distractor.

He's shown you his true colours and what he really thinks of you. Not sure how you can come back from a comment like that.

Mom2K · 19/03/2023 17:29

I wouldn't be able to move past if if a partner attacked my looks in an argument. Even if they didn't mean it and was just trying to make me feel bad in the moment I'd view them differently and also always wonder if that is how they really feel.

SomePeopleAreJustBloodyStupid · 19/03/2023 17:35

He can think about his choice of words, when he's got no dinner, no clean clothes, and no sex, can't he?! The twat.

RedToothBrush · 19/03/2023 17:36

Fedup6 · 19/03/2023 01:27

Today the argument was about me saying he doesn't help out around the house. He started saying he does and was huffing around the house moaning and then he started swearing. That's when I said he talks in an ugly manner.

If he has ADHD he may struggle with some of that. He won't 'see' mess the same way or will feel overwhelmed at the prospect of helping with tasks because he sees everything as one blob rather than individual tasks. He probably needs help in breaking it down into smaller manageable tasks that he has to complete before moving onto the next thing.

Where he isn't ok is where he is abusive to you because he can't do it.

So break this into two parts. The part where the ADHD is relevant and the part where he is an abusive arse.

Calling you names based on your appearance is abusive. He can't hide ADHD for that.

JenniferBooth · 19/03/2023 17:37

I would not be able to have sex with a man who insulted my body.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/03/2023 17:40

What a horrible, vicious thing to say. You were rightly talking to him about his needing to do more around the house, he knows you're right, but he decided to just flat out hurt you and humiliate you.

He is not a good father.

PrincessToad · 19/03/2023 17:48

Oh my god, how horrible 🥲 That's just terrible.

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 19/03/2023 17:49

He has thrown that very nasty remark at you in his rage at being challenged and his general disrespectfulness and you will find it hard to forget that he said it.

MadMadMadamMim · 19/03/2023 17:59

I don't think I could have sex again with a man who said that to me. I'd be telling him that he'd made it clear by insulting my body that he found me physically repulsive and I couldn't forget or forgive that.

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