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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

How bloody red is this flag!

39 replies

Soohit · 07/03/2023 19:00

My new boyfriend's mum... MUM... warned me off him.
And not in a mean way but in a "I hope he's nicer to you than all the others" way.
She then said "he can be very kind, he just doesn't always show it" and pleaded with me to give him a chance.
F*** hell.
I was having doubts anyway, nothing related to this, but bloody heck!

OP posts:

OneMoreCookieMonster · 07/03/2023 21:41

@Soohit - Dying to know. Anyway you can frame them without outing yourself? Are you part of an exit affair or something ypire worried about be judged on? Everyone has core values, I'm sure it would be fairly generic.

It may be early days but coupled with whatever you have already seen, it screams dump and run. What would he have to do for you to call it quits?

Original poster

Soohit · 07/03/2023 21:53

IT IS SO OUTING. You can PM me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Soohit · 07/03/2023 21:54

But no, no exit affair. It's run of the mill in that regard!

OP posts:

lemonmama · 07/03/2023 21:56

Go on tell us more
I would just let it sit for a while in terms of what she's said and see how it goes. It definitely could be a big red flag though.

Original poster

Soohit · 07/03/2023 22:04

So we've established. Not green.

OP posts:

Led9519 · 07/03/2023 22:06

I’d run a mile.

Original poster

Soohit · 07/03/2023 22:09

It's just the wording, innit. I'm like... WHAT THE FUCK HAS HE DONE? Is he a... psychopath?

I'm joking but... mum? Any guidance?

OP posts:

iamenough2023 · 07/03/2023 23:03

Mom's can be weird, me included, and say silly stuff that may not mean anything. However, I would keep it in mind and pay extra attention.

LightDrizzle · 07/03/2023 23:09

You may not have the luck with the boyfriends but you do with the mums! 😂

This one sounds lovely but please ignore her pleadings not to be put off, and the one whose conversation consists in listing her favourite dog breeds can pull up a chair next to me anytime.

AFrivolousDigression · 09/03/2023 21:31

😂

AFrivolousDigression · 09/03/2023 21:35

Sorry the emoticon was supposed to go under the thread that said: 'run like you've got a firework up your arse' not just 😂

Original poster

Soohit · 09/03/2023 21:36

Oh, it's fine! Back to OLD, I think. 🍆 - that emoji was intentional

OP posts:

OneMoreCookieMonster · 10/03/2023 00:03

@Soohit have you broken up with him?

barmycatmum · 10/03/2023 01:28

Oh please listen to her - I’m another one of those posters who didn’t listen to my ex’s family members. their little comments and hints - I just carried on and stood by him, and they were trying to warn me. He turned out to be a massively abusive con artist

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