...was to make a joke about it. Even worse, the joke made the situation all about him.
I've name changed for this as I think he knows my username.
I'm a two times cancer survivor, in my mid 50s. Boyfriend of over a decade, doesn't live with me due to his work...he's over a hundred miles away. I see him on average once a month for a week, go on holidays abroad, etc. Suits us both fine.
Unfortunately in the last few years he's become increasingly self absorbed. He's an only child, and sadly lives up to the cliche. Every phone call recently has been him talking about himself. I mentioned once I was having hot flushes: "Oh I am too" was his reply. He's like this with anything medical...if I have it, he does too...and worse than me.
He gave me covid a month ago...it's the first time I've had it, I don't go out much as I'm physically disabled. I know it was him, as he was the first person I'd seen face to face in 3 weeks...he tested positive 24 hours after he arrived...I tested positive 2 days later. He recovered in less than a week, took no time off work (was able to work from home). It's the third time he's had it. He didn't bother to test before coming up to see me, even though he was already having symptoms. He tested because we were going to meet friends 'and he didn't want to put them at risk'
I had it bad, I was in hospital for a week, was on paxlovid etc. Been back at home for 2 weeks. Started having bleeding from the bellybutton and severe abdominal pains over the weekend. Emergency appointment at GP, lots of swabs, blood etc taken for a lot of tests.
GP rang today, less than 24 hours after the tests. There's something wrong with my blood, it's going to involve more blood and other tests to nail it down. Best case scenario is a problem with my thyroid...but obviously with my medical history it 'could' be more serious. Now on the 2 week fast track for tests...
Boyfriend was working from home today...he can't take calls during working hours but can make them if he's got time. I'd not heard from him for hours, until I get a message saying 'you better not have diabetes, that's my thing'.... I couldn't help myself, I messaged back 'yes God forbid it's not all about you'. I've been accused of 'taking it out on him', 'it was only a joke'... my only reply since has been 'why would you be think the first thing to do would be to make a joke?' Then I got accused of saying he was an 'insensitive prick' (well if the shoe fits)...
The last lovely message I got was this (he's at the dentist to get a quote for implants, he doesn't like the look of his front teeth):
I was actually going to phone you when I came out of the dentist but I don't think I'll bother now if you think I'm so insensitive I've had people having a go at me all day today I wanted to contact you sooner but I have been so busy even if I am working from home.
I feel like he's proven my point without even realising it. All the 'I's in that message...I honestly don't know how to respond to this message, I'm so shocked.
Sorry this is so long!