Porn

[ConstancetheGardener]

My phone packed up so partner lent me his. Whilst on it I thought I'd try and tidy up the memory for him as he is not IT savvy and has never done it . Went onto his Chrome history to clear it and found loads of porn sites listed (red tube was shown a lot) and lots of viewings of stuff about step mums , step dads and step daughters which made me feel icky as my 26 year old daughter lives with us . I felt totally betrayed and crushed but I had a very calm discussion with him about it later and he swore that he had not looked at any porn sites and had not been interested in sex for months , he is 68 with health issues and I had a cancer op a year ago and no longer very interested . I don't know enough about Google to know if stuff can be on your search history from a third party. Any way I accepted his explanation and tried to get past it . I have since had surreptitious looks at his phone ( I guessed his password ) and the search history now shows no porn sites but lots of normal searches . This tells me that he blatantly lied to me and had looked at the porn sites. I can't get past the lying and don't know what to do .If I confront him he will change his password and deny it all again . I want to work through this but I can't get past the lying and the creepy searches at the moment. Help please .

Yes he lied to you.

You don't find his porn habits acceptable.

Looking at his phone without his permission is also not acceptable.

Seems like you two are finished.

He’s definitely lying. He might not have specifically searched for step child etc. My boyfriend watches porn and he put some on a couple of weeks ago and I noticed so many of them were step parent etc, maybe it’s just a common theme for porn. It would make me very uncomfortable though given you’ve a adult child living with you.

Oh dear.
Ick.

I think the nature of the content would be the did for me. Wouldn't want him under the same roof as my daughter.

Of course he's lying, it's there in black and white. But not sure why you have to try and cover up your snooping on here by saying you had to go onto his history to wipe his memory for him, why wouldnt you just tell him you're going to do that and do it when he's around? You had a snoop and you found out he's watching porn. It's up to you if that's a deal-breaker but id be pissed off if it was affecting our sex life.

Whilst on it I thought I'd try and tidy up the memory for him as he is not IT savvy and has never done it

One of the slightly more unusual excuses for snooping that I’ve seen here. At least you admit later on that you’re blatantly still doing it. You ‘can’t get past the lying’ but you’re not exactly being honest with him, are you?