Need to distance mysrlf from toxic friends and family but lonely at 45.

[malificent7]

I have a wonderful dp and dd so in that respect am very lucky. My mum died 11 years ago and shortly after my dad got with my friend's mum but they can be quite toxic. I find the dynamic very awkward and dd and I can be scapegoated at times. My friend can also make snide digs.
I need to distance myself but I feel lonely.i do tend to have less tolerance for bs now im older. I also miss my mum.

You have a wonderful DP and DD - focus on them. In my experience of moving to a new city where it was very hard to make friends, in the end I decided to get better at enjoying my own company and simply being lonely.

After four years I've made exactly three friends, and that's enough for me, but it took time and actually there's nothing wrong with taking your time, especially if you're been burned by friends.

You will over time make new friends if you get out and do things you enjoy and it is harder when you're older, but a lot of people are in the same situation if they have moved on from outgrown friendships and it's totally normal to have some loneliness.

I am sorry to read about your late mother.

I would focus on DP and DD and look for like minded people in friends. You need radiators in your life, not drains. It may be that your friend who is making snide digs is akin to what your dad and his partner do; its familiar to you. They assigned a scapegoat role to you so your DD gets scapegoated as well. You do not have to set yourself on fire to keep such people warm and I would keep well away from your dad and his lady. Look at your boundaries re these people and examine how you can raise these.