Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Tell me about "The One That Got Away"

121 replies

goodmorningsunny · 13/02/2023 12:23

I'm very happily married with a baby but I do find myself thinking about the guy that I saw myself having a life with before I met my husband.

He was lovely but we didn't agree on some fundamental things. He didn't want marriage or kids, deal breaks for me, so it was obviously not meant to be.

We met online and spent hours and hours talking every day, I had the same kind of connection with him as I did when I met my now husband. He knew everything about me and my biggest secrets. I do miss him and his company but I know I've made the right choice. Doesn't stop you daydreaming though, does it? I kind of like it this way because he will forever be a romantic memory for me (if we had carried on, I'm sure it would have gone down in flames!)

Tell me about your One That Got Away!

OP posts:
Smooshface · 13/02/2023 14:30

We liked each other at the wrong times! I liked him but he didn't really think of me that way, then he liked me when I was in one serious relationship. I had a short gap then i was in the next relationship for 20 years! He's now married to a wonderful person so he's remaining the romantic "one that got away" for the foreseeable. Probably for the best, i think I'd have driven him mad 😂

Phos · 13/02/2023 14:43

I was about to say I don’t think I have one but I have a sort of one. I was 17, he was a few years older. Met on holiday, tried to stay in touch but I went off on my gap year and it faded out. He randomly bumped into my mum and gave her his address to pass onto me but I went and lost it and that was it really. He was gorgeous! Tried to find him on Facebook (out of curiosity, I’d love to see how he looks as a 40 something) but to no avail. I’m not sure how much it really counts though, the relationship wasn’t long enough to know how happy I could have been with him long term.

Stressfordays · 13/02/2023 14:53

I had a one that got away, we were together when we were teens, he had a car accident and needed multiple surgeries so told me to go live my life and I did.

Well we both found ourselves single last year, got talking again and gave the relationship a go. It didn't work out, he was clingy and appeared not to have grown up and acted like the 18 year old he was back then. Its better left as a fantasy 🤣

Momo18 · 13/02/2023 16:22

I married my one that got away, twelve years after 😆

winterbegone · 13/02/2023 16:33

More than one, more like a whole list that have got away

Hellocatshome · 13/02/2023 16:37

The one that got away called me out of the blue and asked if I would move to the Caribbean with him as he was moving there and running a watersports business. Unfortunately I was 38 week pregnant with my first baby with my not yet married to DH and if it wasn't for that I most likely would have said yes. He is now happily married to a man though so it probably wouldn't have been a happy ending anyway.

GettingStuffed · 13/02/2023 16:40

We were in our early 20s(19 when we met) went out with him for 2 1/2 years. He was on the RAF on the other side of the country but we saw each other a lot as I lived in the next town to his home town and I moved to his side of the country when I went to college.

He always said he didn't know how to love people. We split up when he was reflighted, if he'd been posted in Scotland he'd take that as a sign we should get married, he wasn't.

2 years later I met DH and we've been m 35 years later this year.

SuchAFunAge · 13/02/2023 16:56

Love this thread!

I met mine at uni in Scotland when I was 18. Only dated for a couple of months before going our separate ways but have never felt the same way about any one else.

He moved to London, I stayed up north. We never seemed to be single at the same time. I got married and he settled down eventually. Kept in touch sporadically over the years and there was always a feeling of unfinished business.

I have now recently separated from my husband and he has split from his partner.

Met for lunch last week after not seeing each other for a few years and the spark was still there. Difficult to not get sentimental but I admit I'm hopeful this may finally be "our" time 17 years later!

cravingtoblerone · 13/02/2023 17:12

We met at Uni. Sparks flew. But after 6 weeks he went off on work-placement, working long hours at the other end of the country. For the next 2 years we had completely incompatible schedules - one at Uni and one working around the U.K. Another place or time and it could have been brilliant.

But happily married now, so no regrets about how things turned out long term...

C1N1C · 13/02/2023 17:26

Really good friend... got close many times, but she had a boyfriend and would become distant for a time after, absolutely destroying me. One day we were out at an event and she said she wanted us to have sex and I said no... no idea why... I told myself at the time it was because I 'knew' if we did, she'd feel so bad and maybe I'd lose her completely as a friend. I chose an ongoing friendship over maybe losing her.
So 20 years later, I still wonder.

xJoy · 13/02/2023 17:29

I dont have one. A few men dumped me but ... I don't feel they got away! After time passes, you think, should have dumped them actually.

I am only interested in extraordinary men so I never get near enough to that type to say that they "got away"

Cuppaand2biscuits · 13/02/2023 17:37

Ahh, he was a lovely man, from a lovely family but I met him when I was working in a different part of the UK. Job ended and I moved in with him but I didn't have enough of my own friends to make it work. I wanted to move home to start Uni and he didn't want to come with me.
I still dream about him now and think I'll always consider him as the one who got away.
We're both married with children now and I still see his Facebook posts as I knew his wife before he did!

FatSealSmugSoup · 13/02/2023 17:37

I’ve always been v insecure about my looks - but a friend was visiting her boyfriend about 300 miles away and they were leaving through her photos (pre phones obv! 😂)- and he said “wow, I’ve got to meet her”.

We did. We really hit it off. He kept inviting me out, but I was too proud to say “I’ve not got enough in my pocket for a coke”, so I kept turning him down.

I still think about him when I’m feeling low and wonder “what if?”. He married someone much younger and their wedding photos are beautiful, but utterly soulless - nobody is smiling.

25 years on he might be a total and utter cock, but I’d love the opportunity to find out.

Iris1976 · 13/02/2023 17:40

Mine was the first real love of my life,we are still friends 14 years later but the relationship was very short lived as he has ADHD and bipolar and is incapable of settling down.Took me til about 9 months ago to actually fall out of love with him,was limerence I think for a lot of years,because deep down inside I knew we could never work.

ZaphodDent · 13/02/2023 17:49

Met my GF when I was in my late teens. We both needed somewhere to live so bought a house together. After several years I left her, but then I hugely regretted it.

A couple of years later we bumped into each other and hit if off. We've b

ZaphodDent · 13/02/2023 17:50

ZaphodDent · 13/02/2023 17:49

Met my GF when I was in my late teens. We both needed somewhere to live so bought a house together. After several years I left her, but then I hugely regretted it.

A couple of years later we bumped into each other and hit if off. We've b

Oops...

een married for over twenty years now. So I ended up with the one I thought had got away.

PermanentTemporary · 13/02/2023 17:53

Two... one was my boyfriend for three years, oh crap it was 30 years ago. With hindsight he was desperately trying to dump me but I wouldn't go lol. Still the most I've ever fancied anyone, he made me weak at the knees but also drove me mad.

The other was a casual dalliance but my Lord I had to work hard to pretend to be casual. I was ob-sessed with him. Tbh I still think about him every day. He was the complete package, good on the surface, God's gift in the sack, but bad to the bone, the cleverest msn I ever met, I was trailing along in his wake. I adored being with him. Man.

MadisonR · 13/02/2023 18:21

I was 16, he was 17, we had an on/off relationship for 5 years but in the end we were too young, I didn't trust him anymore, the usual stuff.
Then there were other people interfering, I wasn't attractive enough for him apparently!, when I think of the things I put up with when I was young, I know what I would say to them now.
I did speak to him online when I was in my 30's and married with young children but realised it was a mistake and stopped.
I am now over 50 and still think about him at times. It's the first love thing, the one you never get over.
And we did have the most amazing chemistry!, well that's what I'm calling it.

MadisonR · 13/02/2023 18:25

We met at 16 and 17, the relationship went into our 20's. Just to clarify!

beguilingeyes · 13/02/2023 18:28

Mine married my 'best friend ', who turned out to be a conniving, manipulative cow. Broke my heart.
I don't think I ever really got over it. I know it was partially my fault but I'm pretty sure she told a lot of lies about me

Pssspsss · 13/02/2023 18:32

SuchAFunAge · 13/02/2023 16:56

Love this thread!

I met mine at uni in Scotland when I was 18. Only dated for a couple of months before going our separate ways but have never felt the same way about any one else.

He moved to London, I stayed up north. We never seemed to be single at the same time. I got married and he settled down eventually. Kept in touch sporadically over the years and there was always a feeling of unfinished business.

I have now recently separated from my husband and he has split from his partner.

Met for lunch last week after not seeing each other for a few years and the spark was still there. Difficult to not get sentimental but I admit I'm hopeful this may finally be "our" time 17 years later!

You HAVE to keep us posted re: this

SomePosters · 13/02/2023 18:41

I got with the one that got away after his kids grew up… it had romantic passion initially but was ultimately a let down.

Sorry but imaginary people are a lot less complicated than real people

soboredtonight · 13/02/2023 18:43

Mine was a good friend. My closest friend.

friends with benefits for the last year we were still living in the same area but mostly we were just good friends.

We spent all of our spare time together.

I came to a bit of a cross roads in my life and I laid my cards on the table as I was in love with him at this point and he didn't feel the same so I moved cities.

He was the only thing keeping me there. I have never felt so emotionally connected to someone and my heart was broken for a long time. Still is a bit.

Anyway I left, he realised a few weeks later he had made the wrong decision but I'd met my daughters dad by then and neither of us have been single since.

I didn't go back as I wanted a child and he didn't and I was at an age where I needed to make a decision.

We are incompatible. He still doesn't have or want children.

We still keep in touch sporadically it's like neither of us can cut each other off completely and it's never anything of meaning.

If we'd have stayed together and had kids he'd of been unhappy and if we'd stayed together and had no kids I would have ben unhappy so it was done.

I still miss him sometimes. But it wouldn't have worked.

Shangrilalala · 13/02/2023 18:49

He’s now married to a man.

ArcaneWireless · 13/02/2023 18:50

Met him at the wrong time.

A gentle, quiet, kind soul. And a colleague.

By the time I felt ready for another relationship, he’d met someone else. They are still together. We are still friendly colleagues.

But I really think I lost the chance of that kind of happiness the day I had to say no to him. I was a fool.

Still single. Many years later.

Swipe left for the next trending thread