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Original poster

Was DH mean?

69 replies

Toughsteak · 12/02/2023 22:23

Or did I deserve this treatment? Name changed.

I inadvertently shrunk a couple of DH's jumpers in the tumble fryer. I apologised and said I would replace them.

He seemed to forget about this during the day but when it came to the evening, he decided to cook himself a lavish steak, chips and mushrooms and not make any for me.

He called me a plonker and an idiot, and turned off the light as I was going up the stairs so that I would not see where I was going.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Oopsiedaisyy · 12/02/2023 22:25

Twat

GoldDuster · 12/02/2023 22:25

First thought? Dick.

Second, let him replace the and do his own laundry.

LadyOfTheFliessssss · 12/02/2023 22:26

No, he's being mean. I can understand being upset about the laundry (I've got cross myself about my clothes being ruined), but it's no reason to start getting revenge on you or calling you names.

Aquamarine1029 · 12/02/2023 22:27

I wouldn't be married to a man who treated me like that.

DelphiniumBlue · 12/02/2023 22:27

Best not do any more washing for him in case it goes wrong.
Best not to cook any more food for him either seeing as he thinks catering separately is OK.
Best not to shop for him either as he's such a prat.

Northernsouloldies · 12/02/2023 22:29

You said sorry n would replace the items but that's not good enough for your dick husband. You should point him in direction of washing machine so he can do his own laundry.

JennyDarlingRIP · 12/02/2023 22:29

WTAF, I can see why internally he'd be upset/disappointed at his jumpers being ruined, but you've offered to replace them, which tbh anyone with any grace would decline as it was clearly an accident made while you were doing him the favour of washing his clothes. To then cook only for himself and turn off the light while you are going upstairs is ridiculous, it's like school playground bullying. He sounds like a nasty little man

arethereanyleftatall · 12/02/2023 22:30

How can you possibly think or even question if you deserved that treatment?
Of course you didn't.
You made a mistake, whilst doing a nice thing for him, which you apologised for and offered to replace.
A normal response from a nice person would be 'never mind darling, they're just things, and don't worry about replacing.'
Your husband is not a nice person.

ednatheevilwitch · 12/02/2023 22:31

Yup he was. Does he have form for this?

SummerInSun · 12/02/2023 22:32

If an adult punished a child for a careless mistake by not letting them have dinner it would be regarded as abusive. You made a mistake. One that is very easy to make when you are the one always stuck doing the whole family's laundry as I bet you are. Fine for him to be upset. Not ok for him to react like that.

Original poster
Toughsteak · 12/02/2023 22:34

He was particularly frustrated as the jumpers were expensive so I understand that. He is increasingly unkind to me these days and the example I have given is a mild example. I am considering my relationship now as I deserve better than be called a dumb fuck.

OP posts:
Spottycarousel · 12/02/2023 22:34

He sounds horrible.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 12/02/2023 22:34

Blimey, what an utter knob you have yourself.
You should make a point of not doing his washing in future if this is the way he behaves when mistakes happen. I certainly wouldn't be replacing them now either - that ship sailed when his twattishness appeared.

Aquamarine1029 · 12/02/2023 22:35

Toughsteak · 12/02/2023 22:34

He was particularly frustrated as the jumpers were expensive so I understand that. He is increasingly unkind to me these days and the example I have given is a mild example. I am considering my relationship now as I deserve better than be called a dumb fuck.

You absolutely deserve better and I beg of you not to get pregnant. Ditch this arsehole.

Sometimeswinning · 12/02/2023 22:37

How can anyone be on mumsnet and think that's OK?

Dh would most definitely be pissed off with me. I would apologise. Offer to replace them? No. Would he sulk? Yes But he'd cook dinner for me and he certainly wouldn't bully me. Your dh is not a nice man. You're worth more than how he's treating you.

OutFortheBirds · 12/02/2023 22:38

Leave him, for god sake. Sounds like a stupid prick who can do with doing his own laundry. Why waste your precious time being treated like shit by the person who is meant to have the most love for you?

WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody · 12/02/2023 22:38

Toughsteak · 12/02/2023 22:34

He was particularly frustrated as the jumpers were expensive so I understand that. He is increasingly unkind to me these days and the example I have given is a mild example. I am considering my relationship now as I deserve better than be called a dumb fuck.

@Toughsteak

GET OUT.

You do not deserve to be called Dumb
Fuck.

only making dinner for himself is petty & horrible

turning out the light when you're going up the stairs is chilling. Threatening.

if this is 'mild' compared to other things, I hate to think what he says and does.

you deserve SO SO much more than this!

GET OUT NOW while you can.

Consufed · 12/02/2023 22:38

He is increasingly unkind to me these days and the example I have given is a mild example. I am considering my relationship now as I deserve better

Yes, you absolutely deserve better. What a horrible attitude he has. You made a genuine mistake, whereas he deliberately cut you out of dinner. Totally unnecessary and nasty. And that's just a mild example? You are with a man who thinks a couple of garments are worth more than your relationship. He isn't going to change and things aren't going to improve. Sorry but there's only one way to go from here, and that's to LTB.

Beck2023 · 12/02/2023 22:39

That behaviour is bullying and mean. Being upset is one thing, but he is trying to humiliate and belittle you. it isn’t normal and someone who respects you would not treat you like that.

I am really sorry he is treating you like this.

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/02/2023 22:40

I hope you’ve eaten?

He's an absolute dick. No one deserves to be spoken to like that. Just nasty.

Sunriseinwonderland · 12/02/2023 22:42

Leave.

BigMamaFratelli · 12/02/2023 22:44

I can't imagine dp doing this to me under any circumstances. ExH has definitely done similar. Hope that's clear enough for you ok. You deserve better😘

At least now you've got an excuse not to do his washing again and he's demonstrated it's ok to cook and eat separately.

I'd replace the jumpers, but then be getting my ducks in a row x

Spectre8 · 12/02/2023 22:47

I wouldnt replace his jumpers id just spend the money on a divorce lawyer instead

Ofcourseshecan · 12/02/2023 22:49

He is increasingly unkind to me these days and the example I have given is a mild example. I am considering my relationship now

Please OP, stop considering and get away from him right now.

He’s obnoxious already. As he’s getting increasingly unkind, how soon will it be before he starts getting violent? Today he turns off the light so you risk falling on the stairs. How soon till he pushes you down them? Don’t stay to find out.

ednatheevilwitch · 12/02/2023 22:51

Okay then you need to make plans to leave. Abuse always gets gradually worse. You deserve way better than how he is treating you.