Without sounding sad at 46 am I likely to be able to meet anyone?

[Wonderingwhyy]

just that really.

My ex had an affair and left 3 years ago. What with covid and 2 DC ( one who has SEN so tricky) it’s only now I’m at the point of thinking I’d really like to try meeting someone. But I’m 46 .

This probably sounds a silly question but is this even possible? Do people my age go on OLD? Im assuming the majority of men would be looking for someone younger. Is there a site that
would be better to join?

Apologies for the probably stupid question - never really had to think about it before and my friends are either married or not interested in another relationship of single or a bit younger than me.

I met someone in my 50s through friends. I have lots of friends in the late 40s -50 s age group who haven't met anyone but notably their lives are very full and they have been single for years. When I tried OLD it exhausted me.

@Tuilpmouse So what has that got to do with dating then?

Well I guess initially some friendship and fun and yes sex! But I won’t deny there is a part of me that would love to fall in love.

I was with my ex from 22 for a very long time ( actually just realised it’s 4 years since we separated!). I guess I would like the chance to meet someone now I have the confidence to be myself, so perhaps someone with similar interests ( a lot of my marriage was a lot of fun but we were very different).

Im quite happy on my own though, and have good friends and have recently joined a few groups around my interests ( theatre and arts mainly). Until recently was quite happy and tbh couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of trying to date. But something switched in me recently and I feel like I’d like to at least try to see if I could have a relationship again.

I am realistic though, as still don’t have many nights I can go out due to the DC.

Anyway thanks for all the responses!

My aunt is 79 and having lost her first husband to illness, has just got engaged to a lovely man who's 78.

They're planning a Spring wedding.

There's always hope.

😊

Wonderingwhyy

I think deep down we all want to fall in love
I’ve been deeply smitten with one especially but he had sooooo much baggage and issues I had to walk away

but for every divorce mum there’s a divorce dad or a man

just takes nerves of steel , time , patience

Thanks @Thisisworsethananticpated

I guess I feel - possibly for the first time in my life! - that I’ve reached a point where I am confident enough that I meet my own needs - if that makes sense? As in I have friends, interests, the DC, if I don’t meet anyone then that’s fine. So it would be an extra if that makes sense. I guess I feel like I’m finally at 46 possibly able to have a balanced relationship.

The risk of course is that I revert to my insecure younger self when I actually start, but I’m hoping not 😁

You sound in a good way and what’s to be lost by trying some OLD ?!

get hair done , recent pics , honest profile and see how you get one

keep expectations manageable !!

No commitments like children

But those young woman are likely to want children.

And most older men already have children, and many of them most definitely do not want more.

someone you met doing something you weren't that bothered about but went anyway
this happened to me 18 months ago when I really thought (agreed 60 and my marriage over) it never would. Gorgeous man 7 years younger -we are still together and it is lovely.
Not OLD though as my age would have screened me out, but in RL meeting age is irrelevant.

Yeah the photos are going to be the problem - I guess I need to plan some fun nights out and get some 😂. Never really take pics of myself apart from with the kids.

''@aurynne · Today 02:02
Regardless whether old men like younger women, that doesn't mind they'll get them. Most younger, attractive women are not attracted to old geezers anyway, and have plenty of options among young, good looking men their own age.''

Agreed.

Online dating is full of older men who somehow think they are entitled to date stunning women in their 20s/early 30s. Then they complain bitterly that women don't pay them any attention...

I must say that I did not enjoy online dating at all in my 40s and found it really difficult to find any decent, honest guy who had their life sorted. Plenty of casual sex seekers, liars, borderline alcoholics, dreamers and pervs though.

I think it is worth trying because other people have had positive experiences but I would also try to find ways to meet in real life and also to build a life for yourself where your happiness doesn't have to rely on a relationship.

I agree this is a good idea - also because I guess it’s easier to be yourself doing something.

Unfortunately I’m a bit limited due to childcare ( and most of my friends are married and it’s more going for dinner at their house) but I think trying to say yes to more things is a good plan anyway. I do feel a bit as if I’m just emerging from the post covid dug where I sort of got out of the habit of going out.

*fug

Apply to go on 'First Dates'. I'm always amazed at the high proportion of successful matches.

Thanks

It’s good to hear the negative experiences as well.

I would say I’m at the point where my happiness doesn’t depend on meeting someone or a relationship. It’s why I’ve waited so long before even thinking about dating - definitely don’t need a a relationship. Would just be a nice added extra. I have more self confidence than I’ve ever had in my life now and certainly don’t need someone or rather need someone’s approval in the way I maybe did when I was younger.

I also do enjoy just meeting people.

Having a lazy Saturday morning in bed with the guy I met on Tinder 9 months ago, I'm 49,he's 50...couldn't be happier, very much in love and amazing sex😈😂

Regardless whether old men like younger women, that doesn't mind they'll get them. Most younger, attractive women are not attracted to old geezers anyway, and have plenty of options among young, good looking men their own age.''

Yeah I always laugh when people say that old research shows men all look for women in their 20s etc and older women are not sight after ..... All that shows is that a large majority of older men who old are delusional, unrealistic and living in a sleazy dream world.

Aside from.sugar baby situations; how many women in their 20s date etc men over 50 or even in their 40s? If a man's rich, maybe - most aren't rich.

As you say why on earth would they when they meet and have opportunities with attractive men around their own age - whom they naturally meet through college, uni, work, part-time jobs, hobbies and socialising.

I know women who've met men around their own age on old, but also in local village pubs, at bands playing in country hotels etc

Of course you can! I know loads of people who met their partner late in life - an unmarried friend who suddenly fell passionately in love for the first time in her early fifties - still going strong 40 years later, others who were divorced or widowed, who met their life partners in their mid forties to mid fifties - all very happy and in loving, nurturing relationships.

All the happy ones I know didn't find love OLD, but through hobbies, interests, friends of friends and work. I know a couple of women in LTRs with men they met OLD but they seem to have settled and/or put up with far more nonsense for the men. I'd aspire to a real meeting of minds and start looking for peopke who share your passions and interests in life.

Yeah I always laugh when people say that old research shows men all look for women in their 20s etc and older women are not sight after ..... All that shows is that a large majority of older men who old are delusional, unrealistic and living in a sleazy dream world.

Yes, and that they are hanging out on OLD sites. Not saying everyone on there is a creep but there do seem to be a lot of dull, fat, balding losers who think they are entitled to the pick of lissom lovelies in their twenties and that any woman over 40 is an insult to their charms. Out in the real world, you meet men you have stuff in common with.

@WinterFoxes - this is exactly what I’m hoping for - someone who shares interests and has a meeting of minds. I’ve never really had that in a relationship ( perhaps my first real relationship was that actually but that was a very long time ago!).

Most of my interests are generally quite female dominated in any groups ( theatre, dance etc) but we shall see!

I have a friend who exactly this happened to. Met a gorgeous younger woman a few years after his wife died, went on a couple of dates but didn't take it further as he knew she wanted children and he'd done that - didn't want to do it again. He told me he definitely wants to meet a woman the same age/stage as him.

The whole ‘younger woman’ thing is all relative anyway… to a 55-60yr old man, a 46yr old is the young babe!

I started OLD at 49, and met some really lovely men. I actually think it’s easier at our age vs 30 somethings online - we’ve already had our families so less pressure to find someone fast, ability to be more choosy. Just get good spidey sense for men with too many issues. I met someone really amazing pretty quickly - a year later and I’ve never been happier.