How often do you have sex, and how has the frequency varied over the course of your relationship?

[Confuzzled6]

Also, do you ever feel anxious about expectations if you have a lower libido?

From a curious individual. 🧐

When we first met lots! It did then stay at a few times a week before dipping to once a fortnight or so when we had DS and the sleepless and stressful times that followed. Now I'd say 3 times a week or so. I would say it doesn't matter what's normal for others as it varies for every couple and that's okay. I think communication is the most important thing, and if one has a lower libido perhaps explore other (non sexual) ways to feel a connection and intimacy?

20+ years together. Married for 14. 3 kids including a baby and both have FT jobs. A couple of times a month? We are quite affectionate otherwise though. DH has no complaints. I think our libidos are fairly evenly matched.

Together 21 years in May. Married for 2 in September. After DD now nearly 10 I went off it a bit and we didn't have it much at all. Now it's pretty regular although we struggle a bit as she doesn't go to bed early anymore 🤪

@PrincessConstance those were the days! I remember when DP and I had only just met and he only had an hour and half to see me in a weekend- we squeezed in about 4 goes I think 😂

OP, I would say 5 nights out of 7 now we have been together 18 months. It depends when he has his child as well as I feel wary about doing it with them in the house.

We are just over 25
Have 4 children
I'm a sahm and he work full time
Around 4 times a week sometimes more some less his sex drive is a lot higher then mine hut we some how make it work

Been together 33 years. Usually 1-3 times a week now, mainly mornings. Took me a long time to realise that actually I much prefer morning sex and of course with three kids for many years that wasn’t really an option. First fifteen years it was probably at least daily.

Together 14 years. After the early days (sex every time we saw each other) it settled to once a week for years.

Then we had a 3 year drought after our daughter was born (maybe once every couple of months).

Now we've really picked back up and have sex 2 or 3 times a week. I hope it stays that way, but in long relationships there are going to be peaks and troughs.

Mid 50s. Together 8 months. Every time we meet and sometimes twice so 3/4 times a week. I like it , we have a lovely time each time we see each other and sex just feels part of it. To be honest my preference is in the afternoon as it makes the evening very relaxed..

Once every couple of weeks?
There are medical complications, leading to pain, leading to psychological blocks 🤷‍♀️

It's definitely not what our relationship is built on but it's still important.

Same 😞 Though it’s been 15 months of nothing now despite me asking on numerous occasions.

A few times a year lol. We're actually more than happy with that.

I'm too scared to read the comments
Mine is pretty much non existence but dh and I seem content - well I hope he is! Hahahaha

50..hes 40.... been together 2 years see each other every couple of weeks. Do it more than 6 times a day when we are together

The main thing is that the frequency suits both parties. So if it's one per year, or once per day, it doesn't matter since both people are happy.

For us, sometimes the number per month has varied a lot, due to lots of work travel, kids and all the usual factors. In general if I want sex then DH is available, if DH wants sex then I'm happy to go along with it too. I guess that's a sign we're probaby in the same ballpark with respect to libido. Lucky me!

I'd hate to be in a relationship where I wanted sex and could not have it (there are exceptions, but in general terms).

3 years now with none. It’s me not him.

Been together 10 years. Used to have sec a few times a week. In 2020 DHs mum died and his mental health has suffered. Not taking ADs means he doesn’t want sex, taking them is better overall for him but no urge to have sex. He’s tried different ones and all the same in that respect.

So we don’t have sex. He does have ED and we’ve used viagra in the past but as it only works on you if you’re aroused then no point trying it seems.

I go through phases of how much it affects me - I think the fact he doesn’t really touch me intimately at all (in a way that would be nice for me) bothers me more than the not having penetrative sex.

Twice a day. Sometimes less if we’re both tired, sometimes more if we’re freer time wise

Actual sex about once a week, other stuff more often and I would say most days. My husband would probably prefer an increase, but he’ll survive and it isn’t something he would ever complain about.

When I got married a couple of times a week more or less same me until 40s 40 s after that he went off me and didn’t have sex or even a cuddle for 10yrs. So left him, very quickly found a good man now twice most weeks, mornings best because sex wakes me up, I really did not expect my libido to return but it just shows what a good man can do.

Others have mentioned intimacy, lack of intimacy killed my marriage, it was not lack of sex, men should realise that a cuddle and a caress is very important even if it goes no further. When I got together with my new man he asked what went wrong with my ex, simple, no cuddles or intimacy, so now he makes sure we cuddle morning and night. So it’s all very relaxed because I know he isn’t pestering for sex and I can just enjoy the attention morning and evening.

We were quite obsessional and had an incessant devouring need. It was all a bit overwhelming.
Then it tailed off slightly (To just daily). Recently we've had 6 months slow down after some life events, my promotion, and a few money worries (Which I became extremely stressed about). That's all settled now, Dp seems reluctant to come back on board.
We were meant to be TTC but have put that on hold for now.

It doesn't have to be

not keen on giving too much info to this poster who hasn't posted anything about themselves but I would not accept a couple of times a month. Even a couple of times a week is a bad week and we've been together 4.5 years.

I have no idea either, a clearly journo/pervert/troll/dump and run poster. Your comment was the only sensible one.

Weird af what some people are willing to share.

both In our 50s, together 25 + years, was regular in the beginning, completely sexless now, and has been for 5+ years, her doing not mine