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Original poster

He wants to rejoin church

84 replies

Ringrings · 06/02/2023 17:34

My boyfriend wants to rejoin the Jehovahs Witnesses after 23 years. He came with to me spiritualist church a few times but as soon as his mother found out he refused to come saying it was giving him bad luck. Now, I never told him to come to spiritualist church he wanted to come himself. There was no harm in the church just songs, philosophy and messages. His daughter's mother has rejoined and he spoke to her about it which I believe has been an influence.

He said last night he prayed to Jehovah and believes the Jehovah church is the way forward. Coincidentally this has all come about after his mother criticised the spiritualist church because she does not believe in or respect other faiths as she says they are bad spirits, it is like he is scared to stand up to her.

What he don't get is his bad luck is caused by his poor decision making and actions in life. I don't go to church much and if I do I don't expect all my problems to solve without putting in any effort just because I go to church. It's like he expect Jehovah to magically disappear his problems.

I just feel they are judging my faith when I have not said anything about his faith. His faith says that time is coming to an end and when he explained things it seemed a bit negative, I really hope if he goes it is more positive than that.

He only left Jehovah Witness because he wanted to smoke and drink which they don't believe in. He also had one night stands when he was single which they disagree with. It's like he thinks leaving gives him a free pass to indulge when once it is out of his system he rejoins.

I'm worried he will want to go every Sunday so he commits every Sunday to it which we can't go away for weekends then whereas I didnt go to church for 2 months to spend time with him and it was Christmas.

I know he spent most of his childhood after school preparing for talks at the church and reading JW books. Just hope he doesn't get stuck back to that as he missed having childhood and admitted that.

Anyone here in a relationship or marriage where you both have different faiths? If so, how do you manage differences?

OP posts:

pointythings · 08/02/2023 19:51

@Bepis do you have children, and if so what will you do if one of them develops an illness that requires a blood transfusion, or if one of them turns out to be gay?

I went to the funeral of a 16yo girl who had been raised JW. She had leukaemia. She could not have a bone marrow transplant because of her faith. Some might admire her adherence to her faith in the face of death - I just feel sad that she was so deeply indoctrinated that it killed her.

And at her funeral, about 5 minutes were dedicated to talking about her - the rest was all about how great the JW faith was and how bad everyone else's was. It was sickening. I'm so glad my family circle consists of atheists and pagans.

Bepis · 08/02/2023 19:55

pointythings · 08/02/2023 19:51

@Bepis do you have children, and if so what will you do if one of them develops an illness that requires a blood transfusion, or if one of them turns out to be gay?

I have adult children so they would make their own decisions on that matter. I'm sorry to hear what happened to that little girl.

Marths · 08/02/2023 19:57

pointythings · 08/02/2023 19:51

@Bepis do you have children, and if so what will you do if one of them develops an illness that requires a blood transfusion, or if one of them turns out to be gay?

That's sick. Her parents should be ashamed, they effectively killed their child.

OldFan · 08/02/2023 20:37

I went to the funeral of a 16yo girl who had been raised JW. She had leukaemia. She could not have a bone marrow transplant because of her faith.

@pointythings I think they can choose to accept that so it really is wrong that her parents didn't/a shame if she didn't. Seems kind of wrong that it was allowed by the doctors etc too, rather than her being made a ward of court or something.

I googled earlier and I hadn't realized, it's not even that a blood transfusion is frowned upon, they will (depending on their local group?) actively be disfellowshipped ('excommunicated') for it. But supposedly they can come back if they repent.

pointythings · 08/02/2023 21:04

@OldFan at 16 she would have been fully Fraser competent, so the doctors were powerless to do anything - a court case would have failed. She was so deep in the cult she made the decision that killed her. She was an intelligent, capable young woman, nobody could have argued that she did not understand the implications of her choice.

Her parents were also a mixed faith couple with the father not being a JW. The marriage did not survive.

All that aside from the fact that a religion which encourages people who love each other to shun each other is just plain wrong.

OldFan · 08/02/2023 21:31

Her parents were also a mixed faith couple with the father not being a JW. The marriage did not survive.

@pointythings I can imagine. If I was the dad, even if I didn't show it, on one level I'dve been furious at the mum (for leading the daughter to die when she might've lived, by bringing her up around JWism.)

Sniffmyfingers · 01/10/2023 23:37

Does he not realise that we are in the 21st century and that ridiculous myths designed by the few to control the many have no place in our modern scientific society.

HerRoyalNotness · 02/10/2023 00:16

I used to be one. Re the blood issue, about 20yrs ago they came up with a new policy that you could choose to have blood products, but not whole blood. Each individual could choose for themselves. I absolutely believe it was because they know they’re wrong but if there were to say, hey our bad we were wrong, they’d be sued out of existence. It’s their get out clause. Crazily to me, at the time, some of my friends still said they wouldn’t get it!

i was raised in it but my parent used it as a tool to control us, which says it all really. No real love or belief there. I did not want my children raised that way with a lifetime of othering, no to everything and limited involvement in life

Lucious1000 · 02/10/2023 00:40

Run away.

If he's serious, your values are not aligned.

My brother is a JW, very devout. I respect him, his wife is too. My dad is and my mum is not. It doesn't cause massive issues with them, some yes, but they are old school and been together for 45 years. My dad is a bit of a part time JW though.

They will try to get you into the truth as they call it. I was raised briefly as one. It will look like it is out of love but it is out of them being brainwashed and wanted everyone to know The Truth:

Anyone that is interested, it is interesting. Check out John Cedars on YouTube.

Do not share this with your partner, the response will just be he is an apostate.

They do not listen to any views other than what they are told.....Brainwashed (unfortunately)

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