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Original poster

When did you get engaged?

65 replies

MsSx · 02/02/2023 19:44

Been with my boyfriend 5 years in a few months. We have a 1yo

I did specifically say when I fell pregnant please don’t propose just because I am or just after I have the baby.

as I say DS is 1 now and I just I don’t know I don’t see any signs he will I just feel it’ll never jappen

i want to marry him and have his last name

just want to hear your stories and be filled with some hope. Lol

OP posts:
TheFlis12345 · 02/02/2023 19:46

We moved in together after 2 1/2 years, he proposed a year later and we got married a year after that.

TheFlis12345 · 02/02/2023 19:48

TheFlis12345 · 02/02/2023 19:46

We moved in together after 2 1/2 years, he proposed a year later and we got married a year after that.

I should have said, no kids involved as we decided not to have any but if there were, I would have insisted on being married first, but obviously I know that is not the case for everyone.

jenn88 · 02/02/2023 19:49

Been together 7 years, have a mortgage and a 3 year old! Not happened yet!!! Maybe this is our year??!!

Glitteratitar · 02/02/2023 19:50

Together for 2.5 years when he proposed. We then moved in together shortly after and got married when we had been together for 4 years

Teacoaster · 02/02/2023 19:50

Pregnant after 3 months together 🙃 engaged after 3 years. We're getting married this year after 5 years together. Our little boy will nearly be 4 when we get married and I'm so glad he gets to experience our wedding 🥰

ISeeTheLight · 02/02/2023 19:52

Just talk to him?
I didn't have a proposal, we'd been together for 12 years with a child and a house. Had conversations over lockdown (I brought it up) and agreed to get married. Went ring shopping together when the shops opened again. Wedding booked shortly after for this summer.

Teacoaster · 02/02/2023 19:52

I forgot to say that we spoke about getting engaged. Like you, I didn't want to get engaged just because we were having a baby, either during or shortly after.

I picked a ring and he surprised me by proposing shortly after, but I knew it was coming, just not the day/how.

Krakenes · 02/02/2023 19:52

What’s he said when you discuss it? We talked about getting married, then decided on a whim to do it when we went on holiday. No engagement period, just phoned the people we cared about to say we were going to get married next week. It was one of the best days of my life!! Did exactly what we wanted, no pressure, had an amazing day and meal in the evening. If you want to get married, just do it!

Cookerhood · 02/02/2023 19:52

Why don't you ask him?

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 02/02/2023 19:55

We had been together for 10 years (since early teens) and we were buying a house together. We wanted to make a commitment to each other as we were making a big commitment getting a mortgage together. Married a year and a half later.
We wanted to be married before children for lots of reasons.

DarkNurseries · 02/02/2023 19:56

Why did you tell him not to propose because you were pregnant or newly delivered? Let me guess, you didn’t want him to feel he had to, and you wanted it to be romantic and a surprise, and when someone says ‘Stop being so passive — why not propose to him if you want to marry him?’ on his thread, you’ll coyly say you’re ‘traditional’ and think the man should do it. Which does then raise the question of why that kind of ‘tradition’ encompasses extra-marital pregnancy.

ShiverOfSharks · 02/02/2023 19:56

Talk. To. Him. He's not a bloody mind reader. And apparently you've spent some time telling him forcefully not to propose to you.

Alarae · 02/02/2023 19:56

Engaged after 3.5 years, married at 5.5.

We had talked before that I wouldn't want to be engaged until after I graduated university, but it certainly happened not long after!

Perhaps he's a bit cautious to ask as perhaps to him, a year might not be long enough for him asking to be linked to you being pregnant? Sounds like you just need to have a frank conversation and say to him what you said here- that you want to be married.

TheFallenMadonna · 02/02/2023 19:56

After 8 years, 3 of those living together. Not articulated, but readiness to start a family was certainly a driver for getting on with it.

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 02/02/2023 19:57

Also we got engaged following a discussion of what we both wanted.
We went ring shopping etc.
Then he proposed after that x

GlassBunion · 02/02/2023 20:00

Dated in Feb , only saw each other most weekends. Moved in with him in august , engaged November , married June following year.

34 years ago.

Original poster
MsSx · 02/02/2023 20:05

Yes I did say not when I was pregnant or after I had our baby as yeah it seems like he’d have done it because he has to!

we’ve briefly discussed it. I’ve asked directly is it in the near-ish future(not expecting next week or anything but at least this year) he says yes. He said he doesn’t know when he will then he gets defensive and says he’ll do it when he’s ready (he never used to say this, I don’t know if it’s because I’ve asked a few times the past month or two)

part of me gets my
hopes up from his responses like he’s trying to keep it a surprise and has it planned

OP posts:
ToriLynn · 02/02/2023 20:10

Moved in together at 9 months,
Got DDog at 10 months,
Second DDog at 2 years,
Engaged at 3 years,
Married at 5 years,
First DC 9 months later.
Now have 3 DC.

nettytree · 02/02/2023 20:11

Engaged 1 week
moved in together 9 months
married a year later
been 20 years now.

Season0fTheWitch · 02/02/2023 20:13

Moved in after 7 months, engaged after 3 years, married the same year, and then started having kids

TheMumLife3 · 02/02/2023 20:15

Bought our first home and got engaged after 5yrs. Stayed engaged for 7yrs and got married last year. We've got 3 children and our 4th due in the summer.

bloodywhitecat · 02/02/2023 20:15

Moved in together at 9 months, decided marriage wasn't important to us so just ticked along nicely then, four years in DH got a terminal diagnosis and all of a sudden marriage became very important so we planned a wedding. We were fortunate enough to have a wedding just outside the worst of lockdown so had a beautiful, happy, personal wedding surrounded by our nearest and dearest. Our wedding day was only the second time I ever saw DH cry (the first time was shortly after his diagnosis when he asked me if I wanted to leave him now he was sick), he was so happy that day.

BelleSauvage9 · 02/02/2023 20:18

Also been with my dp 5 years. He proposed on our 5yr anniversary. Our dd was 9 months then, is now coming up to 1. And I really wasn't expecting a proposal any time soon (if ever)!

windyarse · 02/02/2023 20:19

Forgive me, I am autistic so see thing's perhaps a little differently but are why are you sitting around hoping he proposes?

You say he doesn't want to discuss with you the proposal but have you had a serious conversation about marriage?

'I want his last name' sounds like a school child tbh. If you want to change your name, change it, but you have to have grown up talk about marriage.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 02/02/2023 20:21

We went the other way. Bought a house after 2 years together. Found out I was pregnant about 9 months later and we got married 3 months after that, almost exactly 3 years after our first date. It did mean I couldn’t have my dream dress though. I didn’t have a visible bump (and we didn’t tell anyone except our parents that I was pregnant) but if I picked the dress I really loved, my little pot belly would have shown.

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