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Original poster

h texting someone MUCH younger on whatsapp

70 replies

Ausse · 29/01/2023 19:19

Hubby has been acting strange for the last few weeks. I have been suspicious and have finally managed to get into his phone to look…

he has a folder full of pictures of a young girl (late 20s/early 30s) that he has met at work.
they don’t work together but his work place use a service that hers offers if that makes sense. Don’t want to go into too much detail for obvious reasons…

he contacted her, and has sent her pics of him - some insinuating some not. It’s clear he’s trying to impress her with old pics of him when he was her age!!!!
he has logged where she lives, shown her where we live but it’s clear they haven’t met up.. SHE has asked to but he makes excuses…

he tells her he loves her, respects her and wants to get to know her…. ???? Conveniently forgetting his wife of a few years!!!

we have both been married before, and haven’t been married long - 4 years. I have kids from previous marriage.

what do I do now?
do I sit and wait and ‘catch him out?’
what does he want with her?
what possesses a man of 52 to want to pursue a much younger girl??????

help please x

OP posts:
Mamette · 29/01/2023 19:27

I’m sorry to hear this is happening to you OP.

Surely you have already caught him out?

You don’t need any more proof really.

Original poster
Ausse · 29/01/2023 19:29

Yes I suppose, I feel like Iv snooped so it’s not strong enough… I have had some wine so I am a bit all over the place trying to get my head around it!

what now

OP posts:
Mamette · 29/01/2023 19:32

Maybe do nothing for tonight while you are still in shock.

Can you call a RL friend and meet for a chat? Try to figure out where you see things going from here.

Do you want to confront him and have him admit it and apologise?

Or do you want to leave him?

MarshmallowsOnToast · 29/01/2023 19:33

what possesses a man of 52 to want to pursue a much younger girl??????

An ego boost, it's quite pathetic.

Sorry OP.

barmesunday · 29/01/2023 19:34

What possesses a 52 year old man to pursue a younger woman? Well, it ain't his brain, that's for sure.

Reinventinganna · 29/01/2023 19:36

I don’t understand waiting. What for? You don’t need proof.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/01/2023 19:38

Don't do anything tonight. Or while drinking.

But he's already done something unacceptable and let's face it he would shag her if he was able to. It would be over for me. What it means for you is up to you. 4 years in as well. He's not waited long.

Christmaspyjamas · 29/01/2023 19:41

Oh dear a big shock (though wonder if you were suspicious for other reasons to find the folder).

I mean you have proof.

The wise thing is to consult a solicitor etc before letting on that you know. And just as importantly find emotional support to help you avoid being swayed by the inevitable lies when you confront him.

You can't live like this.

60smusic · 29/01/2023 19:42

If it were me I'd take down her number then send her a very unflattering recent picture of him, with his age and say you're his wife, then tell him to fuck off

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/01/2023 19:43

60smusic · 29/01/2023 19:42

If it were me I'd take down her number then send her a very unflattering recent picture of him, with his age and say you're his wife, then tell him to fuck off

LOL

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 29/01/2023 19:43

I'd be making conversations about how disgusting it is when old men say, in their 50's, start trying to impress younger women in their 20's and how cringe worthy it is.
I'd probably do this a lot of is also take screenshots with your own phone of his messages so he can't deny it all later

HollyFern1110 · 29/01/2023 19:43

Does the other woman know he's 52? You say he sent photos of himself in his late 20s or early 30s.

He's told a woman he doesn't even really know that he loves her. That sounds like a deal breaker to me. I just hope she knows what she's getting.

Badger1970 · 29/01/2023 19:45

Set him free.

He's not worthy of a faithful and decent partner.

There's no coming back from him saying he loves someone else.

hay5689 · 29/01/2023 19:46

HollyFern1110 · 29/01/2023 19:43

Does the other woman know he's 52? You say he sent photos of himself in his late 20s or early 30s.

He's told a woman he doesn't even really know that he loves her. That sounds like a deal breaker to me. I just hope she knows what she's getting.

He's met her at work so I'd say she knows how old he is.

Christmaspyjamas · 29/01/2023 19:46

60smusic · 29/01/2023 19:42

If it were me I'd take down her number then send her a very unflattering recent picture of him, with his age and say you're his wife, then tell him to fuck off

To be fair I feel pretty certain this would work. And if she's a supplier to his business throw in that you'll be sending screenshot to her boss.

Still leaves you with pig of a husband though.

Original poster
Ausse · 29/01/2023 19:53

She does know how old he is, she has met him recently and he does send recent ones too…

although would love to send her an unflattering one of which I have many! Thankyou for making me laugh through the tears!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ausse · 29/01/2023 19:54

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 29/01/2023 19:43

I'd be making conversations about how disgusting it is when old men say, in their 50's, start trying to impress younger women in their 20's and how cringe worthy it is.
I'd probably do this a lot of is also take screenshots with your own phone of his messages so he can't deny it all later

I think I am in a petty mood so may just do this

also just to add - I want to make sure I have everything in order before saying anything as he has form for being sneaky (hence the flipping texts!!!!)

OP posts:
2bazookas · 29/01/2023 19:55

I'd take a really unflattering pic of him, and send it to her with a message "This is a true likeness of my husband <Name> who is <56 no harm exaggerating> years old , a married man and lives with me, his second wife.
Those pics of him he sent were taken 20 years ago. The house he showed you pics of, is mine.

Mari9999 · 29/01/2023 19:56

If he has said that he loves her, what are you waiting to catch? What if he says he loves you both, are you looking to be part of some bizarre sister wife scenario?
You do not need to play Sherlock homes, you have seen his statement related to his affection and intentions.

He has said that he respects her. You should act out of self respect and make some decisions about this relationship . Some women are comfortable with and accepting of shared relationships for various reasons, and you may be in that group. In that case , don't demean yourself by sneaking and snooping.

If you are unhappy, tell him what you know and what your plans are going toward in the marriage. There is no benefit to snooping for evidence of infidelity. Divorce in most places is" no fault," and courts have no interest in the volume or magnitude of his transgressions. That matters only to you.
.

Original poster
Ausse · 29/01/2023 19:56

i read on another thread about WhatsApp on computers - can I log into his on my laptop ? I haven’t saved the messages I was too shaky trying to get through them before he came back in

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 29/01/2023 19:56

Why is he still in your house ?

he told her he loves her. What more proof do you need ?

barmesunday · 29/01/2023 19:57

He'll get an alert on his mobile device if you log on to WA web.

Fuckstix · 29/01/2023 19:59

Get screenshots of all the messages do he can't deny it or gaslight you. He's telling another woman he loves her. It doesn't matter that they're not meeting in person yet for sex. You deserve much better. What a sad man. If he's sneaky then don't drop hints or anything until you've got all your paperwork etc in order, just keep it under your hat until you're fully ready to confront him.

Fuckstix · 29/01/2023 20:00

In fact, don't worry about getting proof. It was only for your own sanity. He knows Full well what he's been up to.

ijustneedanamefgs · 29/01/2023 20:00

You have enough proof. You don’t actually need proof. The guy is an a**hole. Maybe it’s only an ego boost and he won’t actually do anything, but is that ok by you? I would be ending the relationship. Does the girl know he’s in one? I would be messaging her also.

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