Love after divorce

[Cluelessat33]

I've been separated for 3 years. I've not had a relationship with anyone. Not even casual sex. Sometimes I think I want it, other times I'm happy on my own with no drama.

How long after marriage did you find another relationship, if you have children. We do share care so I do have time. I'm 33. Am I really looking at the rest of my life alone? I really do miss the intimacy and companionship at times.

I have no children but was happily single for 5 years after my divorce. I've been seeing a lovely man for almost a year now.

should add - I wasn't looking for a relationship - I was honestly happy by myself - but we met in real life and I couldn't resist.

I wasn’t married but I’ve been single double that time (no men at all) my children are with me full time so dating is absolutely impossible for
me!

This is what I'm scared of being alone forever I'm 31 with 2 kids, I would have time to go out to potentially meet someone but where? Haha the type of men out there 😕 they're sleezy must be some good ones but I just feel like I'll never trust anyone again. I've separated from my husband due to lies, debts & no trust and he can't go on a night out without doing drugs and I've had enough! But then I think some of my other friends have had to deal with abuse/ cheating/ and all of the above. Men seem to find their feet with a new woman much easier!

I have been celibate for four years after the divorce. I was in my early forties. Then done a bit of online dating, went out with few guys for a dates. Tried to choose the one who I can connect with intellectually too, not just physically. That was disappointing. I found online dating to be a bad investment of your time if you want to get a serious relationship or even quality sex. It's only good for a short term banter/ light flirting.

Sounds like you want a relationship and there is nothing wrong with that.
For me, I'm about a decade older and I have been a single parent for quite a while and between working and looking out for the children and doing things with them, I have no room for a relationship. I have focussed on my friendships and doing things with them. I always also find I end up compromising on my goals/dreams when in a relationship, so I am looking to help my DC through their teenage years and then do what I want to do and if that includes a relationship then so be it, but I don't feel I need or want one and apart from occasional help with bigger jobs I don't miss having someone around at all, maybe that's because I always felt that my ex was very negative and held me back though.

I divorced at 42, with kids 14 and 12. I was single for three years, online dated during that time. Then met my husband that way aged 45. I am very happy.

Six months after splitting and I wasn't even divorced. The shame lol.

If I ever split with my DH I don't think I would ever want another relationship or live with a man again.

Id be perfectly happy single.

I divorced at 48. DC were 8 and 9. Met my new DP online dating at 50. We got engaged last weekend, I'm 52 now.

Congratulations @noautumnglow

Congratulations @noautumnglow I like to hear of happy endings 😊

Thank you both PPs. I wasn't looking for anyone and expected to be on my own for the rest of my life: who would want a fat, exhausted, middle aged single mum? But then I had too much wine one Friday night, signed up to an online dating app and the rest is history. I cannot describe how happy I am.

How? That would be wonderful.

At salsa class 😁 lots of couples have met there and there's been at least two weddings that I know of!

I'm at the four year mark and been celibate and not even any dates - nor to be really honest am I really looking for them.

I'm in late middle age and perhaps this is both a help and a hindrance. On the positive side I have a challenging job and a wide range of interests - sports events, theatre, gigs, art galleries, reading, travel that keep me occupied and content.

The flip side is that you are less likely to be at social events where there are plenty of single people your own age unless you actively look for it. My age range is fairly limited - 10 years younger and up to 5 years older I guess. It's very important to me I connect with someone intellectually as well as emotionally so don't fell the spark that often